From LOLCat Bible Translation Project

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These guidelines are to help the LOLCAT BIBLE stay consistent.

The Translation Philosophy

Every translation of the Bible has a philosophy behind it. Some, for example, are quite formal. ("As literal as possible, as free as necessary", as one translation committee puts it.) Others are dynamic or paraphrases.

The philosophy behind the LOLCat Bible can be summarised as:

 As fun as possible, no more misleading than necessary.

At all times, remember that you're trying to produce a translation that's understandable by cats. In particular:

  • Cats like having fun. Keep the translation fun.
  • Cats have short attention spans. Use short sentences, and feel free to skim the more tedious bits, such as lists of "begats".
  • Prefer references to things that cats would understand. A typical domestic cat probably hasn't seen a desert tent, but they have probably seen a sofa.

General formatting guidelines

Use The Verse Template 
Check out Template:Verse for usage information. And try to group them into paragraphs as noted on the Verse Template Usage Page.
Indent with {{indent}} 
Normally you would use : to indent, but this causes an unnecessary gap between the text, so use the indent template instead. It is a drop-in replacement for :.
Do Not Use & Signs 
& signs should not be used. Use "An" or something similar instead. & Signs in some chapters make it extremely difficult to read when they are grouped into paragraphs.
Do Not Use ALL CAPS 
Even though lolcats tend to speak in all caps, the translation should be easier to read. ALL CAPPED LARGE BLOCKS OF TEXT ARE REALLY HARD ON THE EYEBALLZ.
Use h5's for section title. 
Use an h5 when creating section titles. You do this by placing ===== (5 equals) on each side of the section title.

General translation guidelines

Don't Abuse lolcat Jokes 
You can use lolcat specific jokes (cheezburgr, etc), but try not to abuse them. Chuck Norris jokes are also acceptable.
Try to Keep it Somewhat Clean 
You can use wtf/stfu as they are common in lolcat, as well as n00b. But other than that, try to refrain from cursing, l33tspeak, or racial slurs. Be creative if you need to say something unclean. Find a round-about way to say it. If it's not needed at all, then don't say it.


The most common, theologically important, figures like God and the Holy Spirit, have their own lolcat titles ("Ceiling Cat" and "Hover Cat"/"HovrCat" respectively). This is especially true of titles rather than names.

Everyone else should keep names as they are, unless there's a good reason to play with them. Some play may be made with ownership ("jobes" instead of "job's"). If in doubt, ask on the talk page.

Dynamic translation

Translations should, at all times, be not too misleading with respect to the source material. Try to get the sense of the text across. We are here to make the Bible funny/amusing and to translate, not to completely rewrite it.

That in mind, do have fun with the translations. It comes out funnier.

Play with the Text 
Typical Bible translations are boring, let's face it. Pages of dense theology and philosophy can be tedious at the best of times. Try to add color.


As translation has proceeded, the use of asides seems to be fairly common. This is fine, but please don't overdo it, and only if it makes the translation more fun.

There are some great examples of asides in Genesis 2.

Avoid ecclesiastical jargon

Cats don't have millennia of confusing catma to spoil their own Bible translation. Let's not inflict it on them now!

Many ecclesiastical jargon terms are perfectly ordinary words that got a gloss on them. For example, the Greek word translated "baptized" just means "washed". We haven't been consistent on this yet, but in general, prefer the ordinary word to the jargon word.

If in doubt, ask. Srsly.

Cats or humans?

The "cats or humans?" question isn't entirely settled.

Histrkal akurasi suggests that historical passages should keep the human characters as humans, though they can act like cats. In general, this seems like a reasonable approach.

If the text is instruction (e.g. one of the epistles), though, you can safely interpret it as if it were addressed to cats. Similarly, poetry (e.g. the Psalms) can be written in such a way that it looks like a cat wrote it.

Page Editing

Keep Page Navigation Intact 
The page navigation for all of the books of the bible should already be setup and working correctly. Please try to make sure that you don't overwrite this, or modify it.

Common Word Translations in the LOLCAT BIBLE

(TODO: As this section grows, we'll need to split it out.)

Ceiling Cat
"PENIS GOES WHERE?" or "HARBL GOES WHERE?" "BUTTSECKS" may be appropriate in some rare circumstances, since it's a known lolcat-ism.
Invisible Error

Anachronisms are okay

Modern technology in ancient settings are fine in small doses. It adds a flavor. Just don't overdo it or make it the central theme of a chapter.

If you have any ideas for more guidelines, feel free to post them to the talk page.


Please try to create original images. Photoshopping images would be win (say, a Moses kitty parting the Red Sea).

In all cases, respect copyrights and give credit where credit is due. Anything in the public domain or that you created yourself is fair game. Any photographic source material with a Creative Commons licence that allows derivative works is acceptable, so long as you follow the licence.

Try to respect the lolcat image conventions:

  • Crop as closely as you can.
  • Text should be in "Impact" font, white with black outlines.
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