Genesis 9

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{{verse
{{verse
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|1= Teh Ceiling Cat blezt Noah and hes sunz, and sed to theys: “Haf lawt sex and fil up dis shiznit.
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|1= Teh Ceiling Cat blezt Noah and hes sunz, and sed to theys: “Haf lawt sexytime n b frootful n fill up teh urthz"
}}
}}
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<br />
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{{verse
{{verse
|2= Teh aneemals wil be rly scured of u. I mak dem be pwned by u guyz, lol.
|2= Teh aneemals wil be rly scured of u. I mak dem be pwned by u guyz, lol.
}}
}}
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<br />
+
 
{{verse
{{verse
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|3= If it moufs, it kin be et. Even if it dun't—o hai plants.
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|3= If it mvs, it kin be et. Even if it dun't—o hai plants.
}}
}}
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<br />
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{{verse
{{verse
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|4= Jst teh meet, doods. No bloods, kaikai?
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|4= Jst teh meet, doods. No bloods, kthx
}}
}}
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<br />
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{{verse
{{verse
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|5= Ifs u eets teh bloodz iz no gud; teh animulz cantz eets teh bloodz an teh mans cantz eets teh bloodz. An ifs u killz teh mans iz no gud--teh Ceiling Cat killz u.
+
|5= Ifs u eets teh bloodz iz no gud; teh aminulz noes can has teh bloodz an teh mans noes can eets teh bloodz. An ifs u pwns teh mans iz no gud--teh Ceiling Cat pwns u.
}}
}}
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<br />
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{{verse
{{verse
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|6= “Ifs you killz da man,
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|6= “Ifs you pwns da man,
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{{indent}}Da man kills u, k?
+
:teh man pwns u, k?
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{{indent}}Teh man is liek teh
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:Teh man is liek teh
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{{indent}}Ceiling Cat.
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:Ceiling Cat.
}}
}}
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'''7.''' Yah rly, haves teh sex and teh baybeez;
 
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:Liek, tunz baybeez, k?
 
-
:Evrywhers.”
 
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'''8.''' Ceiling Cat sez to Noah an his kidz:
+
{{verse
 +
|7= Yah rly, can has teh hawt secks and teh baybeez;
 +
:Liek, tunnz baybeez, k?
 +
:Evrywharez.”
 +
}}
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'''9.''' “Hay looks, u an me r liek teh bests frenz an I lieks ur baybeez too,
+
{{verse
 +
|8= Ceiling Cat sez to Noah an his kidz:
 +
}}
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'''10.''' An' teh animulz u has: teh burdies, teh caws taht mooes, and teh otehr animulz, dem gives teh mooves off teh boats, k?
+
{{verse
 +
|9= “Hay looks, u an me r liek teh bests frenz an I lieks ur baybeez too,
 +
}}
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'''11.''' U and me r liek teh frenz: I no moar makez teh waterz comez; u noe gets wet no moar, k?
+
{{verse
 +
|10= An' teh aminulz u has: teh burdies, teh caws taht mooes, and teh otehr aminulz, dem gives teh mooves off teh boats, k?
 +
}}
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'''12.''' Teh Ceiling Cat sez: “U noes taht u and me are teh frenz and me and teh animulz r teh frenz forevr n evr becuz dis:
+
{{verse
 +
|11= U and me r liek teh frenz: I no moar makez teh waterz comez; u noe gets wet no moar, k?”
 +
}}
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'''13.''' Visible Raynbo iz in teh skyz, k? U an me an evrywunz is teh frenz becuz teh raynbo.
+
{{verse
 +
|12= Teh Ceiling Cat sez: “U noes taht u and me are teh frenz and me and teh animulz r teh frenz forevr n evr becuz dis: cuz Ceiling Cat pwns rpeat...
 +
}}
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'''14.''' Ifs u sees teh clowdz, u no kin sez, "Oh Noes! Teh waters comes!" becuz tehres teh raynbo;
+
{{verse
 +
|13= Visible Raynbo iz in teh skyz, k? U an me an evrywunz is teh frenz becuz teh raynbo r gr8.
 +
}}
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'''15.''' and I kin sez "Hay luk teh raynbo," becuz u and me and teh animulz are teh frenz; I no makes teh waterz come.
+
{{verse
 +
|14= Ifs u sees teh clowdz, u no kin sez, "Oh Noes! Teh waters comes!" becuz tehres teh raynbo;
 +
}}
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'''16.''' Teh raynbo will be in teh clowds and I remmbers taht u and me and teh animuls are stil sum moar teh frenz.
+
{{verse
 +
|15= and I kin sez "OHai luk teh raynbo," becuz u and me and teh aminulz are hella gud frenz; I no makes teh waterz come.
 +
}}
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'''17.''' And Ceiling Cat sez to Noah, “Teh raynbo meens u and me are teh frenz, k?
+
{{verse
 +
|16= Teh raynbo will be in teh clowds and I rmberz taht u and me and teh aminuls iz stil sum moar teh frenz.
 +
}}
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;Noah and his sons
+
{{verse
-
 
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|17= And Ceiling Cat sez to Noah, “Teh raynbo meens u and me are teh frenz, k?”
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'''18.''' So diz dewd Noah has 3 sonz on teh boatz. They has sum crazi namez all Shem and Ham and Japheth or summin. Ham wuz Canaan's daddi n nawt teh lunch meats.
+
;Noah an his sunz
 +
}}
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'''19.''' newaiz frum deez 3 bros, all of teh worldz was ppl-ated
+
{{verse 
 +
|18= So diz d00d Noah has teh 3 sonz on teh boatz. They has sum crazi namez all Shem and Ham and Japheth or summin. Ham wuz Canaan's daddi n nawt teh lunch meats. lol
 +
}}
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'''20.''' So liek Noah groes teh grapez.
+
{{verse
 +
|19= newaiz frum deez 3 bros, all of teh worldz was ppl-ated.
 +
}}
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'''21.''' And Noah iz liek "Oh hai grapez" and he drinkz teh grapez and drinkz teh moar grapez and no moar haz teh cloethz.
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[[Image:I growed you sum grapes.jpg|thumb|275px|left|Haz you seen mai grapez?]]
 +
{{verse
 +
|20= So liek Noah groes teh grapez.
 +
}}
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'''22.''' And Ham, Canaan's daddi and nawt teh lunch meats, sees Noah and sez "Oh hai brudders, he haz teh invisible cloethz."
+
{{verse
 +
|21= And Noah iz liek "Oh hai grapez" and he drinkz teh grapez and drinkz teh moar grapez and no moar haz teh cloethz on.
 +
}}
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'''23.''' But Shem and Japheth tooks sum cloethz n put dem on Noah cuz he wuz drunkz. They clozd ther eyez so they not sawn his peen.
+
{{verse
 +
|22= And Ham, Canaan's daddi and nawt teh lunch meats, sees Noah and sez "Oh hai broes, he haz teh invisible cloethz."
 +
}}
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'''24.''' So Noah wakez up wif teh hangzover n he noes dat Ham shudda cut him offa teh grapez
+
{{verse
 +
|23= But Shem and Japheth tooks sum cloethz n put dem on Noah cuz he wuz drunkz. They clozd ther eyez so they not sawn his peen n othr nekidness.
 +
}}
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'''25.''' So liek Noah sez:
+
{{verse
 +
|24= So Noah wakez up wif teh hangzover n he noes dat Ham shudda cut him offa teh grapez
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
{{verse
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|25= So liek Noah sez:
:“Canaan iz teh stoopid;
:“Canaan iz teh stoopid;
-
:He iz a noob
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:He iz a noob of noobz
-
:And liek evrywun pwns him.
+
:And liek evrywun pwns him. evn teh fat kid”
 +
}}
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'''26.''' And he sez:
+
{{verse
 +
|26= And he sez:
:“Teh Ceiling Cat pwns,
:“Teh Ceiling Cat pwns,
:Teh Ceiling Cat taht lieks Shem,
:Teh Ceiling Cat taht lieks Shem,
:And Shem pwns Canaan.
:And Shem pwns Canaan.
 +
}}
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'''27.''' Teh Ceiling Cat lieks Japheth,
+
{{verse
 +
|27= Teh Ceiling Cat lieks Japheth,
:He kin be in Shemz tentz,
:He kin be in Shemz tentz,
:subjigaeting hiz mans.”
:subjigaeting hiz mans.”
 +
}}
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'''28.''' So liek Noah becumz ded three hunderd n fifty years after teh waterz goez away
+
{{verse
 +
|28= So liek Noah keep livn three hunderd n fifty years after teh waterz goez away
 +
}}
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'''29.''' So Noah becumz ded whenz he be OMG WTF 950???, wowz but hez ded
+
{{verse
 +
|29= So Noah becumz ded whenz he be OMG WTF 950???, wowzors but hez ded nao
 +
}}
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Exodus]]|NextChap=[[Genesis 10]]|PrevChap=[[Genesis 8]]}}
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Exodus]]|NextChap=[[Genesis 10]]|PrevChap=[[Genesis 8]]}}

Latest revision as of 13:24, 29 February 2008

Old Testament
Bible5.gif

1 Teh Ceiling Cat blezt Noah and hes sunz, and sed to theys: “Haf lawt sexytime n b frootful n fill up teh urthz"

2 Teh aneemals wil be rly scured of u. I mak dem be pwned by u guyz, lol.

3 If it mvs, it kin be et. Even if it dun't—o hai plants.

4 Jst teh meet, doods. No bloods, kthx

5 Ifs u eets teh bloodz iz no gud; teh aminulz noes can has teh bloodz an teh mans noes can eets teh bloodz. An ifs u pwns teh mans iz no gud--teh Ceiling Cat pwns u.

6 “Ifs you pwns da man,

teh man pwns u, k?
Teh man is liek teh
Ceiling Cat.

7 Yah rly, can has teh hawt secks and teh baybeez;

Liek, tunnz baybeez, k?
Evrywharez.”

8 Ceiling Cat sez to Noah an his kidz:

9 “Hay looks, u an me r liek teh bests frenz an I lieks ur baybeez too,

10 An' teh aminulz u has: teh burdies, teh caws taht mooes, and teh otehr aminulz, dem gives teh mooves off teh boats, k?

11 U and me r liek teh frenz: I no moar makez teh waterz comez; u noe gets wet no moar, k?”

12 Teh Ceiling Cat sez: “U noes taht u and me are teh frenz and me and teh animulz r teh frenz forevr n evr becuz dis: cuz Ceiling Cat pwns rpeat...

13 Visible Raynbo iz in teh skyz, k? U an me an evrywunz is teh frenz becuz teh raynbo r gr8.

14 Ifs u sees teh clowdz, u no kin sez, "Oh Noes! Teh waters comes!" becuz tehres teh raynbo;

15 and I kin sez "OHai luk teh raynbo," becuz u and me and teh aminulz are hella gud frenz; I no makes teh waterz come.

16 Teh raynbo will be in teh clowds and I rmberz taht u and me and teh aminuls iz stil sum moar teh frenz.”

17 And Ceiling Cat sez to Noah, “Teh raynbo meens u and me are teh frenz, k?”

Noah an his sunz

18 So diz d00d Noah has teh 3 sonz on teh boatz. They has sum crazi namez all Shem and Ham and Japheth or summin. Ham wuz Canaan's daddi n nawt teh lunch meats. lol

19 newaiz frum deez 3 bros, all of teh worldz was ppl-ated.

Haz you seen mai grapez?

20 So liek Noah groes teh grapez.

21 And Noah iz liek "Oh hai grapez" and he drinkz teh grapez and drinkz teh moar grapez and no moar haz teh cloethz on.

22 And Ham, Canaan's daddi and nawt teh lunch meats, sees Noah and sez "Oh hai broes, he haz teh invisible cloethz."

23 But Shem and Japheth tooks sum cloethz n put dem on Noah cuz he wuz drunkz. They clozd ther eyez so they not sawn his peen n othr nekidness.

24 So Noah wakez up wif teh hangzover n he noes dat Ham shudda cut him offa teh grapez

25 So liek Noah sez:

“Canaan iz teh stoopid;
He iz a noob of noobz
And liek evrywun pwns him. evn teh fat kid”

26 And he sez:

“Teh Ceiling Cat pwns,
Teh Ceiling Cat taht lieks Shem,
And Shem pwns Canaan.

27 Teh Ceiling Cat lieks Japheth,

He kin be in Shemz tentz,
subjigaeting hiz mans.”

28 So liek Noah keep livn three hunderd n fifty years after teh waterz goez away

29 So Noah becumz ded whenz he be OMG WTF 950???, wowzors but hez ded nao

Genesis 9
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