Genesis 7

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(New page: Old Testament 1 TEH LORD DEN SD 2 NOAH, "GO INTO TEH ARK, U AN' UR WHOLE PPLZ, CUZ I HAS FINDZ U RIGHTEOUS IN DIS GENERASHUN. 2 TAEK WIF U 7 [A] OV EVRY KIND OV CLEAN ANIMAL, MALE A...)
 
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[[Old Testament]]
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[[Category:Genesis|Genesis 7]]{{Old Testament}}
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1 TEH LORD DEN SD
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{{verse
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|1= Ceiling Cat den said
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|2= Noah, "Liek goes into teh ark, joo and joo kittens, cuz joo coolz an' righteous an' stuff. In dis generashun. 2 taek wif u 7 of evry kind ov clean moo cow, male an' its wife, an 2 ov evry kind of unclean moo cow, male an' its mate.
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|3= An' also 7 ov evry kind ov burd, male an' female cuz teh burdz are scaredz of teh commitments, an' also 7 ov evry kind ov burd, male an' female (for teh saem reason) 2 keep their various kindz livin throughout teh earthz. 4 7 daiz and frum nao I;m gonna send teh wetness on teh earthz. A little advize, probabliez a gud idea to keep 'em seperatez so teh moo cows don't haev an episode of "PENIS GOES WHERE?" until joo get der.
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|4= For 4ty daiz and 4ty nites, it gon b wet and I gun pwn some n00bs.."
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}}
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2 NOAH, "GO INTO TEH ARK, U AN' UR WHOLE PPLZ, CUZ I HAS FINDZ U RIGHTEOUS IN DIS GENERASHUN. 2 TAEK WIF U 7 [A] OV EVRY KIND OV CLEAN ANIMAL, MALE AN' ITS MATE, AN' 2 OV EVRY KIND OV UNCLEAN ANIMAL, MALE AN' ITS MATE,  
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[[Image: pwned.jpeg|thumb|275px|left|Pwned!]]{{verse
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|5= An' Noah did what Ceiling Cat told im to, and installed dry wall between teh moo cows and his sons and his dawters so dey would not do nething liek to maek cowz go "PENIS GOES WHERE?!?" during teh 4ty daiz.
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3 AN' ALSO 7 OV EVRY KIND OV BIRD, MALE AN' FEMALE, 2 KEEP THEIR VARIOUS KINDZ ALIV THROUGHOUT TEH EARTH. 4 7 DAIS FRUM NAO IM GONNA SEND RANE ON TEH EARTH
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{{verse
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|6= Noah was liek rlyz old when teh wetness came.
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|7= An' noah and his kittehs enterd teh ark so tehy wouldn't get teh wetness in their furz.
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|8= All teh moo cows and teh other stuff Ceiling Cat (who talkz forever 'bout nutin) saidz
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|9= male an' female, came 2 Noah and he dun put them in teh ark, as Ceiling Cat commandd him.
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|10= An' after teh seven daiz teh wetness came.
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4 FORTY DAIS AN' FORTY NIGHTS, AN' IM GONNA WIPE FRUM TEH FACE OV TEH EARTH EVRY LIVIN CREACHUR I HAS MADE."
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{{verse
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|11= In da liek 6 hunderd year of Noah's lief, on teh sevententh dai ov teh second munth-on dat dai all teh spreengs ov teh grate deepz liek spewed teh waterz on teh urf and teh floodgatez ov teh heavenz wuz opend.
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|12= An' teh wetnessez came to teh urf an' it was all wet.  
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}}
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5 AN' NOAH DID ALL DAT TEH LORD COMMANDD HIM.  
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|13= On dat der dai, teh sons of Noahz, Shem teh Jew, Japheth teh white guy, and Ham teh blak guy wif der wivez,
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|14= Tehy hads evry kind of animal two 'cordin to it's kind, all moo cows 'cordin to it's kind, evry creachur dat mooves on teh grawnd 'cordin 2 its kind an' evry burd 'cordin 2 it's kind, evrythin wif wings too 'cordin 2 all der kindz.
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|15= pairs ov all creaturez dat has teh breath ov life in them came 2 noah an' enterd teh ark.
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|16= teh animals goin in wuz male an' femail ov evry livin ting, as Ceiling Cat had toldd Noah. xcept 4 teh unicornz. And teh drag0nz and stuffs. Ceiling Cat sed 'DO NOT WANT'. and dey stayd out ov teh ark. den Ceiling Cat shut him in, and wuz liek 'k, ttyl'.  
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6 NOAH WUZ 6 HUNDRD YEERS OLD WHEN TEH FLOODWATERS CAME ON TEH EARTH.
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{{verse
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|17= 4 4t dais teh flood kept comin on teh urfz, an' as teh waters increasd they liftd teh ark high aboov teh urfz.
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|18= teh watahs rose an' rose and rosed on teh urfz, an' teh ark floatd on teh watrs.
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|19= thei rised greatlee on teh urfz, an' all teh high mowntins undr teh entir heavens wuz covrd.
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|20= teh watrs rose an' coverd teh mowntinz 2 depth ov moar dan twenty feetz OMFGWTFBBQ!!1!
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|21= evry livin thin dat movd on teh urfz perishd — burdz, moo cows, wild animalz, all teh creeturz dat swarm ovah teh urfz, an' all pplz. not catz doh. Ceiling Cat luvz catz. Plus catz hates getting wet.
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|22= evryting on dri land dat had teh breth ov life in itz nostrilz dyed.
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|23= evry livin thin on teh face ov teh urfz wuz wipd out; d00dz an' animalz an' teh creeturz dat moov along teh ground an' teh burdz ov teh air wuz wipd frum teh urfz. only Noah wuz left, an' dose wif him in da ark.
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7 AN' NOAH AN' HIS SONS AN' HIS WIFE AN' HIS SONS' WIVEZ ENTERD TEH ARK 2 ESCAPE TEH WATERS OV TEH FLOOD.
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{{verse
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|24= teh watrz floodd teh urfz 4 hundrd an' fifty dais.
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[[Category:Genesis|Genesis 7]]
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8 PAIRS OV CLEAN AN' UNCLEAN ANIMALS, OV BIRDZ AN' OV ALL CREATUREZ DAT MOOV ALONG TEH GROUND,
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{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Exodus]]|NextChap=[[Genesis 8]]|PrevChap=[[Genesis 6]]}}
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9 MALE AN' FEMALE, CAME 2 NOAH AN' ENTERD TEH ARK, AS INVISIBLE MAN HAD COMMANDD NOAH.
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10 AN' AFTR TEH 7 DAIS TEH FLOODWATERS CAME ON TEH EARTH.
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11 IN DA 6 HUNDREDTH YER OV NOAH'S LIFE, ON TEH SEVENTEENTH DAI OV TEH SECOND MONTH—ON DAT DAI ALL TEH SPRINGS OV TEH GREAT DEEP BURST FORTH, AN' TEH FLOODGATEZ OV TEH HEAVENS WUZ OPEND.
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12 AN' RANE FELL ON TEH EARTH FORTY DAIS AN' FORTY NIGHTS.
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13 ON DAT VRY DAI NOAH AN' HIS SONS, SHEM, HAM AN' JAPHETH, TOGETHR WIF HIS WIFE AN' TEH WIVEZ OV HIS 3 SONS, ENTERD TEH ARK.
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14 THEY HAD WIF THEM EVRY WILD ANIMAL ACCORDIN 2 ITS KIND, ALL LIVESTOCK ACCORDIN 2 THEIR KINDZ, EVRY CREACHUR DAT MOVEZ ALONG TEH GROUND ACCORDIN 2 ITS KIND AN' EVRY BIRD ACCORDIN 2 ITS KIND, EVRYTHIN WIF WINGS.
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15 PAIRS OV ALL CREATUREZ DAT HAS TEH BREATH OV LIFE IN THEM CAME 2 NOAH AN' ENTERD TEH ARK.
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16 TEH ANIMALS GOIN IN WUZ MALE AN' FEMALE OV EVRY LIVIN THIN, AS INVISIBLE MAN HAD COMMANDD NOAH. DEN TEH LORD SHUT HIM IN.
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17 4 FORTY DAIS TEH FLOOD KEPT COMIN ON TEH EARTH, AN' AS TEH WATERS INCREASD THEY LIFTD TEH ARK HIGH ABOOV TEH EARTH.
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18 TEH WATERS ROSE AN' INCREASD GREATLY ON TEH EARTH, AN' TEH ARK FLOATD ON TEH SURFACE OV TEH WATR.
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19 THEY ROSE GREATLY ON TEH EARTH, AN' ALL TEH HIGH MOUNTAINS UNDR TEH ENTIRE HEAVENS WUZ COVERD.
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20 TEH WATERS ROSE AN' COVERD TEH MOUNTAINS 2 DEPTH OV MOAR THAN TWENTY FEET. [B] , [C]
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21 EVRY LIVIN THIN DAT MOVD ON TEH EARTH PERISHD—BIRDZ, LIVESTOCK, WILD ANIMALS, ALL TEH CREATUREZ DAT SWARM OVAR TEH EARTH, AN' ALL MANKIND.
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22 EVRYTHIN ON DRY LAND DAT HAD TEH BREATH OV LIFE IN ITS NOSTRILS DID.
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23 EVRY LIVIN THIN ON TEH FACE OV TEH EARTH WUZ WIPD OUT; DOODZ AN' ANIMALS AN' TEH CREATUREZ DAT MOOV ALONG TEH GROUND AN' TEH BIRDZ OV TEH AIR WUZ WIPD FRUM TEH EARTH. ONLY NOAH WUZ LEFT, AN' DOSE WIF HIM IN DA ARK.
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24 TEH WATERS FLOODD TEH EARTH 4 HUNDRD AN' FIFTY DAIS.
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Latest revision as of 17:04, 18 December 2008

Old Testament
Bible5.gif

1 Ceiling Cat den said2 Noah, "Liek goes into teh ark, joo and joo kittens, cuz joo coolz an' righteous an' stuff. In dis generashun. 2 taek wif u 7 of evry kind ov clean moo cow, male an' its wife, an 2 ov evry kind of unclean moo cow, male an' its mate.3 An' also 7 ov evry kind ov burd, male an' female cuz teh burdz are scaredz of teh commitments, an' also 7 ov evry kind ov burd, male an' female (for teh saem reason) 2 keep their various kindz livin throughout teh earthz. 4 7 daiz and frum nao I;m gonna send teh wetness on teh earthz. A little advize, probabliez a gud idea to keep 'em seperatez so teh moo cows don't haev an episode of "PENIS GOES WHERE?" until joo get der.4 For 4ty daiz and 4ty nites, it gon b wet and I gun pwn some n00bs.."

Pwned!
5 An' Noah did what Ceiling Cat told im to, and installed dry wall between teh moo cows and his sons and his dawters so dey would not do nething liek to maek cowz go "PENIS GOES WHERE?!?" during teh 4ty daiz.

6 Noah was liek rlyz old when teh wetness came.7 An' noah and his kittehs enterd teh ark so tehy wouldn't get teh wetness in their furz.8 All teh moo cows and teh other stuff Ceiling Cat (who talkz forever 'bout nutin) saidz9 male an' female, came 2 Noah and he dun put them in teh ark, as Ceiling Cat commandd him.10 An' after teh seven daiz teh wetness came.

11 In da liek 6 hunderd year of Noah's lief, on teh sevententh dai ov teh second munth-on dat dai all teh spreengs ov teh grate deepz liek spewed teh waterz on teh urf and teh floodgatez ov teh heavenz wuz opend.12 An' teh wetnessez came to teh urf an' it was all wet.

13 On dat der dai, teh sons of Noahz, Shem teh Jew, Japheth teh white guy, and Ham teh blak guy wif der wivez,14 Tehy hads evry kind of animal two 'cordin to it's kind, all moo cows 'cordin to it's kind, evry creachur dat mooves on teh grawnd 'cordin 2 its kind an' evry burd 'cordin 2 it's kind, evrythin wif wings too 'cordin 2 all der kindz.15 pairs ov all creaturez dat has teh breath ov life in them came 2 noah an' enterd teh ark.16 teh animals goin in wuz male an' femail ov evry livin ting, as Ceiling Cat had toldd Noah. xcept 4 teh unicornz. And teh drag0nz and stuffs. Ceiling Cat sed 'DO NOT WANT'. and dey stayd out ov teh ark. den Ceiling Cat shut him in, and wuz liek 'k, ttyl'.

17 4 4t dais teh flood kept comin on teh urfz, an' as teh waters increasd they liftd teh ark high aboov teh urfz.18 teh watahs rose an' rose and rosed on teh urfz, an' teh ark floatd on teh watrs.19 thei rised greatlee on teh urfz, an' all teh high mowntins undr teh entir heavens wuz covrd.20 teh watrs rose an' coverd teh mowntinz 2 depth ov moar dan twenty feetz OMFGWTFBBQ!!1!21 evry livin thin dat movd on teh urfz perishd — burdz, moo cows, wild animalz, all teh creeturz dat swarm ovah teh urfz, an' all pplz. not catz doh. Ceiling Cat luvz catz. Plus catz hates getting wet.22 evryting on dri land dat had teh breth ov life in itz nostrilz dyed.23 evry livin thin on teh face ov teh urfz wuz wipd out; d00dz an' animalz an' teh creeturz dat moov along teh ground an' teh burdz ov teh air wuz wipd frum teh urfz. only Noah wuz left, an' dose wif him in da ark.

24 teh watrz floodd teh urfz 4 hundrd an' fifty dais.

Genesis 7
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