From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 An' it did happn, when men begun 2 maek keeds on teh face ov teh ground, dey had dawters.
2 Dat teh sons ov Ceiling Cat saw teh dawters ov men dat they were fair; an' they "knew them" and teh dawters ov man said "PENIS GOES WHERE?"
3 An' Ceiling Cat said, meh spirit shall not striv wif man 4 evr, 4 dat he also iz flesh: yet shall his dais b liek a lawng tiem for joo guys, but for me.. not so mawch.
4 Teh Nephilim were in da earth in dose dais so scroos joo Creationists, an' also aftr dat, when teh sons ov Ceiling Cat came unto teh dawters ov men, an' they bare keeds 2 them: teh same were teh mighty men dat were ov old, teh men ov renown.
5 An' Ceiling Cat saw dat teh wickednes ov man wuz great in da earth, an' dat every imaginashun ov teh thoughts ov his hart wuz only evil continually.
6 An' it repentd Ceiling Cat dat he had made man on teh earth, an' it grievd him at his hart.
7 An' Ceiling Cat said, im gonna destroy man whom i has creatd fum teh face ov teh grawnd; both man, an' moo cows, an' creepin things, an' birdz ov teh heavens; 4 it repenteth me dat i has made them.
8 But noah findz favor in da eyez ov Ceiling Cat.
9 Thees r teh generashuns ov noah. noah wuz righteous man, an' perfect in his generashuns: noah walkd wif Ceiling Cat.
10 An' noah begat 3 sons, shem, ham, an' japheth.
11 An' teh earth wuz corrupt before Ceiling Cat, an' teh earth wuz filld wif meanies.
12 An' Ceiling Cat saw teh earth, an', behold, it wuz corrupt; 4 all flesh had corruptd their wai upon teh earth.
13 An' Ceiling Cat said unto noah, teh end ov all flesh iz come before me; 4 da earth iz filld wif violence thru them; an', behold, im gonna destroy them wif teh earth. I should haev kept it in Beta lawnger :(.
14 Make thee an ark ov gophr wud; rooms shalt joo maek in da ark, an' shalt pitch it within an' without wif pitch.
15 An' dis iz how thou shalt make it: teh length ov teh ark 3 hundrd cubits, teh breadth ov it fifty cubits, an' teh height ov it thirty cubits.
16 Light shalt thou make 2 teh ark, an' 2 cubit shalt thou finish it upward; an' teh door ov teh ark shalt thou set in da side thereof; wif lowr, second, an' third storiez shalt thou make it.
17 An' i, behold, i do brin teh flood ov waters upon dis earth, 2 destroy all flesh, wherein iz teh breath ov life, fum undr heaven; everythin dat iz in da earth shall die.
18 But im gonna establish meh covenant wif thee; an' thou shalt come into teh ark, thou, an' thy sons, an' thy wife, an' thy sons' wivez wif thee.
19 An' ov every livin thin ov all flesh, 2 ov every sort shalt thou brin into teh ark, 2 keep them aliv wif thee; they shall b male an' female.
20 Ov teh birdz aftr their kind, an' ov teh cattle aftr their kind, ov every creepin thin ov teh ground aftr its kind, 2 ov every sort shall come unto thee, 2 keep them aliv.
21 An' taek thou unto thee ov all fud dat iz eaten, an' gathr it 2 thee; an' it shall b 4 fud 4 thee, an' 4 them.
22 Thus did noah; accordin 2 all dat Ceiling Cat commandd him, so did he.
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