Genesis 6

From LOLCat Bible Translation Project

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
m (Verse 2 changed hot to hawt)
 
(20 intermediate revisions not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
-
{{Old Testament}}
+
[[Category:Genesis|Genesis 6]][[Category:Audio]]{{Old Testament}}
-
1 & when men begun 2 begats kidz on teh urth, dey had dawters. wich is gud cuz Ceiling Cat still wudnt let them masturbate.
+
{{verse
 +
|1=An when men begun 2 begats kidz on teh urf, dey had dawters. wich is gud cuz Ceiling Cat still wudnt let dem masturbate.
 +
}}
-
2 & teh sons ov Ceiling Cat saw taht teh dawters ov men wer rly hot & sexy; & they "knew them" and teh dawters ov men sed "PENIS GOES WHERE?" & they had sexxs but no buttsecks cuz it hadnt been inventd yet.
+
{{verse
 +
|2= An teh sons ov Ceiling Cat saw taht teh dawters ov mens wer rly hawt An sexy; An dey sed "PENIS GOES WHERE?" An dey had sexxs but no buttsecks cuz it wuznt inventd yet.
 +
}}
-
3 & Ceiling Cat sed, i iz not gonna fite wif man 4 evr, 4 dat he also iz flesh: yet shall his dais b liek a long tiem 4 u guys, but 4 me.. not so much.
+
{{verse
 +
|3= An Ceiling Cat sed, i no fites wif ppl 4evr so i no lets tehm liv 4evr: aftr wiel dey wil getz ded. htey is stil thinkx dey can livs long tiem but i givs dem only 1 liefs insted ov 9 liek teh kittehs. so tehre.
 +
}}
-
4 Teh Nephilim wer in teh urth in dose dais to scroos teh Creationists, & also aftr dat, when teh sons ov Ceiling Cat & dawters ov men had sexxs but still no buttsecks, & they begats kidz. & teh kidz were powrful liek superman & wonder woman & all teh avatars in WoW, & dey wer all famous & stuf.
+
{{verse
 +
|4= An sum wierd d00dz calld Nephilim wer in teh urfs in dose dais to scroos teh Creationists, An also aftr dat, when teh sons ov Ceiling Cat An dawters ov men did PENIS GOES WHERE?! but still no buttsecks, An they begats kidz. An teh kidz were badass powrful liek superman An wonder woman An all teh avatars in WoW, An dey wer all famous An stuf.
 +
}}
-
5 & Ceiling Cat saw dat teh ppl on teh urth wuz all wikkid & mean & evil, & dat ppl thot ov wikkid mean evil stuf all teh tiem. & they rited wikkidpedia so evry1 wud knoes how 2 b all wikkid & mean & evil.
+
{{verse
 +
|5= An Ceiling Cat saw dat teh ppl on teh urfs wuz all wikkid An mean An evil, An dat ppl thot ov wikkid mean evil stuf all teh tiem. An they rited wikkidpedia so evry1 wud knoes how 2 b all wikkid An mean An evil.
 +
}}
-
6 & Ceiling Cat wuz rly sry dat he had madez ppl on teh urth, & it madez him all sad & pissed off & stuff.
+
{{verse
 +
|6= An Ceiling Cat wuz rly sry dat he had madez ppl on teh urf, An it maded him all sad An pissed off An stuff.
 +
}}
-
7 & Ceiling Cat sed im gonna pwnz all teh ppl & aminals what i has creatd on teh urth; ppl & moo cows & creepy crawlyz & burdz ov teh skyz & burdz liek ostridges & stuf who cant flyz; cuz i so sry i madez them.
+
{{verse
 +
|7= An Ceiling Cat sed im gonna pwnz all teh ppl An aminals what i has maded on teh urf; ppl An moo cows An creepy crawlyz An burdz ov teh skyz An burdz liek ostridges An stuf who cant flyz; cuz i so sry i maded them.
 +
}}
-
8 But Ceiling Cat liekd noah alot.
+
{{verse
 +
|8= But Ceiling Cat liekd noah alot.
 +
}}
-
9 This is story about noah. noah wuz rightchus d00d, & liek mor rightchus then any1 els. noah hung out wif Ceiling Cat alot & lissend 2 tunez & played pokemons & stuff.. & sumtiems Ceiling Cat even letz him winz cuz he liekd him alot.
+
{{verse
 +
|9= This is story about noah. noah wuz rightchus d00d, An liek mor rightchus then any1 els. noah hung out wif Ceiling Cat alot An lissend 2 tunez An played pokemons An stuff.. An sum tiems Ceiling Cat even letz him winz cuz he liekd him alot.
 +
}}
-
10 & noah begat 3 sons, shem, ham, & japheth. but i alrdy told u that.
+
{{verse
 +
|10= An noah begat 3 sons, shem, ham, An japheth. but i alrdy told u that.
 +
}}
-
11 & teh urth wuz corruptd & messed up, & teh urth wuz filld wif meanies.
+
{{verse
 +
|11=An teh urf wuz corruptd An messed up, An teh urfs wuz filld wif meanies.
 +
}}
-
12 & Ceiling Cat saw teh urth, & saw taht it wuz corruptd cuz all teh ppl had messed it up.
+
{{verse
 +
|12= An Ceiling Cat saw teh urf, An saw taht it wuz corruptd cuz all teh ppl had fuxxxxd it up.
 +
}}
-
13 & Ceiling Cat sed 2 noah, i iz gonna pwnz the whole urth; cuz teh urth has mor violence then WoW & grand theft auto; so im gonna pwnz them & teh whole urth. all teh filez in ppls hedz iz all corrupted & they keep emailin em to all ther frendz. :( i should haev kept it in Beta longr & inventd mcafee & nortonz & stuff to keep out trojan snake wormz & viruses & rootkitz & stuf liek that.
+
{{verse
 +
|13= An Ceiling Cat sed 2 noah, i iz gonna pwnz the whole urf cuz teh urf has mor evilz An vilents then WoW An grand theft auto. so im gonna pwnz tehm An teh whole urfs. all teh filez in ppls hedz iz all corruptd An dey keep emailin em 2 all ther frendz. i should haev kept it in Beta longr :( An inventd mcafee An nortonz An stuff to keep out trojan snake wormz An viruses An rootkitz An stuf liek that.
 +
}}
-
14 Make an ark ov gophr wud; maek roomz in teh ark, & cover it wif tar on teh insidez & outsidez. & noah sed wait a minit u cant gets wood from gophrs, u has 2 use treez. & Ceiling Cat sed i can callz a tree a gophr if i wantz cuz i iz Ceiling Cat. so stfu & go getz ur hammerz & sawz & stuff. & noah sed k, brb.
+
{{verse
 +
|14= Make gynormus bote calld ark ov gophr wud; maek roomz in teh ark, An cover it wif tar on teh insidez An outsiedz. An noah sed wait a minit u cant getz wood frm gophrs, u has 2 use treez. An Ceiling Cat sed i can callz a tree a gophr if i wantz cuz i iz Ceiling Cat. so stfu An go getz ur hammerz An sawz An stuff. An noah sed k, brb.
 +
}}
-
15 & Ceiling Cat sed dis iz how u makez it: teh length ov teh ark 300 cubits, teh breadth ov it 50 cubits, & teh height ov it 30 cubits. & noah sed wtf iz a cubit & Ceiling Cat sed stfu again. so noah did.
+
{{verse
 +
|15= An Ceiling Cat sed dis iz how u makez teh ark: teh length ov teh ark 300 cubits An teh width ov it 50 cubitz An teh hite ov it 30 cubits. An noah sed wtf iz a cubit An Ceiling Cat sed stfu again. so noah did.
 +
}}
-
16 maek sum windoze (but not teh µ!¢®0$0ƒ+ kind) in teh ark, 2 cubitz hai; & mek teh door in teh side; & maek it wif 1th, 2th, & 3th storiez.
+
{{verse
 +
|16= maek sum windoze (but not teh µ!¢®0$0ƒ+ kind) in teh ark 2 cubitz hai An mek teh door in teh side. An maek it wif 1th, 2th, An 3th storiez.}}
-
17 & chek it out, i makez teh flood ov waters upon teh hole urth, 2 pwnz all teh ppl & aminals, wherein iz teh breath ov lief, fum undr teh skyz; evrythin in teh urth will get ded.
+
{{verse
 +
|17= An see, i makez teh flood ov waters upon teh hole urf, 2 pwnz all teh ppl An aminals An stuffz An evrythin in teh hol urfs iz gets ded.
 +
}}
-
18 But i iz taeks care ov u & keeps u safe cuz i lieks u alot; & u shal come into teh ark, u, & ur sons, & ur wief, & ur sons' wifez 2.
+
{{verse
 +
|18= But i iz taeks care ov u An keeps u safe cuz i lieks u alot. An u can haz ride in teh ark, u An ur sons An ur wief An ur sons wifez 2.
 +
}}
-
19 & ov every livin thin, taek 2 ov every kind into teh ark, 2 keep them aliv wif u; mek shur dey r male & female so dey can meks mor aminals after dey leavs teh ark but i wont letz dem haz sexxs on teh ark cuz mor aminals wud mek it 2 crouded.
+
{{verse
 +
|19= An u taeks 2 ov every kind ov aminal into teh ark, 2 keep them aliv wif u (even teh goggies); An mek shur dey r male An femael so dey can meks mor aminals after dey leavs teh ark but i wont letz dem do PENIS GOES WHERE?! on teh ark cuz mor aminals wud mek it 2 crouded.
 +
}}
-
20 Taek all kinds of teh birdz, & ov teh moocows, & ov teh creepy crawlyz on teh urth, 2 ov evry kind 2 keep them aliv. but dont worry about teh fishz, dey can swim gud.
+
{{verse
 +
|20= Taek all kinds of teh birdz, An ov teh moocows, An ov teh creepy crawlyz on teh urf, 2 ov evry kind. but dont worry about teh fishz, dey can swimz gud.
 +
}}
-
21 & taek teh fud dat all teh ppl & aminals lieks 2 eatz, & gathr it up; & it shall b 4 fud 4 u, & 4 them. & noah sed thers gonna b alot ov $#!+ to shuvl wif all dem aminals & stuff, & Ceiling Cat sed stfu ill givez dem all rael bad constipashun so dont worry about it. & noah sed k and shutted up.
+
{{verse
 +
|21= An taek teh f00dz dat all teh ppl An aminals lieks 2 eatz, An gathr it up; An it shall b 4 fud 4 u, An 4 them. An noah sed thers gonna b lotz ov poopi to shuvl wif all dem aminals An stuff, An Ceiling Cat sed stfu i iz givez dem all rael bad constipashun so dont worry about it. An noah sed k and stfu'd.
 +
}}
-
22 so noah did all that; evrythin dat Ceiling Cat told him, he did it.
+
{{verse
 +
|22= so noah did evry thin Ceiling Cat tellz him, bein a gud boi bcuz he had to stfu.
 +
}}
   
   
 +
[http://nd-computerservices.com/lolcb/uploads/Lolchesirecat_genesis_6.mp3 Dramatic Audio Reading (Courtesy of LOLCheshirecat)]
[[Category:Genesis|Genesis 6]]
[[Category:Genesis|Genesis 6]]
-
 
+
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Exodus]]|NextChap=[[Genesis 7]]|PrevChap=[[Genesis 5]]}}
-
 
+
-
 
+
-
 
+
-
 
+
-
 
+
-
{{Bottom Bar | PrevBook=N/A | NextBook=[[Book of Exodus]] | NextChap=[[Genesis Seven]] | PrevChap=[[Genesis Five]] | ThisBook=[[Book of Genesis]]}}
+

Latest revision as of 12:36, 4 April 2010

Old Testament
Bible5.gif

1 An when men begun 2 begats kidz on teh urf, dey had dawters. wich is gud cuz Ceiling Cat still wudnt let dem masturbate.

2 An teh sons ov Ceiling Cat saw taht teh dawters ov mens wer rly hawt An sexy; An dey sed "PENIS GOES WHERE?" An dey had sexxs but no buttsecks cuz it wuznt inventd yet.

3 An Ceiling Cat sed, i no fites wif ppl 4evr so i no lets tehm liv 4evr: aftr wiel dey wil getz ded. htey is stil thinkx dey can livs long tiem but i givs dem only 1 liefs insted ov 9 liek teh kittehs. so tehre.

4 An sum wierd d00dz calld Nephilim wer in teh urfs in dose dais to scroos teh Creationists, An also aftr dat, when teh sons ov Ceiling Cat An dawters ov men did PENIS GOES WHERE?! but still no buttsecks, An they begats kidz. An teh kidz were badass powrful liek superman An wonder woman An all teh avatars in WoW, An dey wer all famous An stuf.

5 An Ceiling Cat saw dat teh ppl on teh urfs wuz all wikkid An mean An evil, An dat ppl thot ov wikkid mean evil stuf all teh tiem. An they rited wikkidpedia so evry1 wud knoes how 2 b all wikkid An mean An evil.

6 An Ceiling Cat wuz rly sry dat he had madez ppl on teh urf, An it maded him all sad An pissed off An stuff.

7 An Ceiling Cat sed im gonna pwnz all teh ppl An aminals what i has maded on teh urf; ppl An moo cows An creepy crawlyz An burdz ov teh skyz An burdz liek ostridges An stuf who cant flyz; cuz i so sry i maded them.

8 But Ceiling Cat liekd noah alot.

9 This is story about noah. noah wuz rightchus d00d, An liek mor rightchus then any1 els. noah hung out wif Ceiling Cat alot An lissend 2 tunez An played pokemons An stuff.. An sum tiems Ceiling Cat even letz him winz cuz he liekd him alot.

10 An noah begat 3 sons, shem, ham, An japheth. but i alrdy told u that.

11 An teh urf wuz corruptd An messed up, An teh urfs wuz filld wif meanies.

12 An Ceiling Cat saw teh urf, An saw taht it wuz corruptd cuz all teh ppl had fuxxxxd it up.

13 An Ceiling Cat sed 2 noah, i iz gonna pwnz the whole urf cuz teh urf has mor evilz An vilents then WoW An grand theft auto. so im gonna pwnz tehm An teh whole urfs. all teh filez in ppls hedz iz all corruptd An dey keep emailin em 2 all ther frendz. i should haev kept it in Beta longr :( An inventd mcafee An nortonz An stuff to keep out trojan snake wormz An viruses An rootkitz An stuf liek that.

14 Make gynormus bote calld ark ov gophr wud; maek roomz in teh ark, An cover it wif tar on teh insidez An outsiedz. An noah sed wait a minit u cant getz wood frm gophrs, u has 2 use treez. An Ceiling Cat sed i can callz a tree a gophr if i wantz cuz i iz Ceiling Cat. so stfu An go getz ur hammerz An sawz An stuff. An noah sed k, brb.

15 An Ceiling Cat sed dis iz how u makez teh ark: teh length ov teh ark 300 cubits An teh width ov it 50 cubitz An teh hite ov it 30 cubits. An noah sed wtf iz a cubit An Ceiling Cat sed stfu again. so noah did.

16 maek sum windoze (but not teh µ!¢®0$0ƒ+ kind) in teh ark 2 cubitz hai An mek teh door in teh side. An maek it wif 1th, 2th, An 3th storiez.

17 An see, i makez teh flood ov waters upon teh hole urf, 2 pwnz all teh ppl An aminals An stuffz An evrythin in teh hol urfs iz gets ded.

18 But i iz taeks care ov u An keeps u safe cuz i lieks u alot. An u can haz ride in teh ark, u An ur sons An ur wief An ur sons wifez 2.

19 An u taeks 2 ov every kind ov aminal into teh ark, 2 keep them aliv wif u (even teh goggies); An mek shur dey r male An femael so dey can meks mor aminals after dey leavs teh ark but i wont letz dem do PENIS GOES WHERE?! on teh ark cuz mor aminals wud mek it 2 crouded.

20 Taek all kinds of teh birdz, An ov teh moocows, An ov teh creepy crawlyz on teh urf, 2 ov evry kind. but dont worry about teh fishz, dey can swimz gud.

21 An taek teh f00dz dat all teh ppl An aminals lieks 2 eatz, An gathr it up; An it shall b 4 fud 4 u, An 4 them. An noah sed thers gonna b lotz ov poopi to shuvl wif all dem aminals An stuff, An Ceiling Cat sed stfu i iz givez dem all rael bad constipashun so dont worry about it. An noah sed k and stfu'd.

22 so noah did evry thin Ceiling Cat tellz him, bein a gud boi bcuz he had to stfu.

Dramatic Audio Reading (Courtesy of LOLCheshirecat)

Genesis 6
Books Chapters
← Previous Next → ← Previous Next →
None Exodus Genesis 5 Genesis 7
Personal tools