Genesis 6

From LOLCat Bible Translation Project

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
m (Robot: Automated text replacement (-Invis[ia]ble Man +Ceiling Cat))
Line 1: Line 1:
{{Old Testament}}
{{Old Testament}}
-
1 An' it did happn, when men begun 2 maek keeds on teh face ov teh ground, dey had dawters.  
+
1 & when men begun 2 begats kidz on teh urth, dey had dawters. wich is gud cuz Ceiling Cat still wudnt let them masturbate.
-
2 Dat teh sons ov Ceiling Cat saw teh dawters ov men dat they were fair; an' they "knew them" and teh dawters ov man said "PENIS GOES WHERE?"  
+
2 & teh sons ov Ceiling Cat saw taht teh dawters ov men wer rly hot & sexy; & they "knew them" and teh dawters ov men sed "PENIS GOES WHERE?" & they had sexxs but no buttsecks cuz it hadnt been inventd yet.
-
3 An' Ceiling Cat said, meh spirit shall not striv wif man 4 evr, 4 dat he also iz flesh: yet shall his dais b liek a lawng tiem for joo guys, but for me.. not so mawch.  
+
3 & Ceiling Cat sed, i iz not gonna fite wif man 4 evr, 4 dat he also iz flesh: yet shall his dais b liek a long tiem 4 u guys, but 4 me.. not so much.
-
4 Teh Nephilim were in da earth in dose dais so scroos joo Creationists, an' also aftr dat, when teh sons ov Ceiling Cat came unto teh dawters ov men, an' they bare keeds 2 them: teh same were teh mighty men dat were ov old, teh men ov renown.  
+
4 Teh Nephilim wer in teh urth in dose dais to scroos teh Creationists, & also aftr dat, when teh sons ov Ceiling Cat & dawters ov men had sexxs but still no buttsecks, & they begats kidz. & teh kidz were powrful liek superman & wonder woman & all teh avatars in WoW, & dey wer all famous & stuf.
-
5 An' Ceiling Cat saw dat teh wickednes ov man wuz great in da earth, an' dat every imaginashun ov teh thoughts ov his hart wuz only evil continually.  
+
5 & Ceiling Cat saw dat teh ppl on teh urth wuz all wikkid & mean & evil, & dat ppl thot ov wikkid mean evil stuf all teh tiem. & they rited wikkidpedia so evry1 wud knoes how 2 b all wikkid & mean & evil.
-
6 An' it repentd Ceiling Cat dat he had made man on teh earth, an' it grievd him at his hart.  
+
6 & Ceiling Cat wuz rly sry dat he had madez ppl on teh urth, & it madez him all sad & pissed off & stuff.
-
7 An' Ceiling Cat said, im gonna destroy man whom i has creatd fum teh face ov teh grawnd; both man, an' moo cows, an' creepin things, an' birdz ov teh heavens; 4 it repenteth me dat i has made them.  
+
7 & Ceiling Cat sed im gonna pwnz all teh ppl & aminals what i has creatd on teh urth; ppl & moo cows & creepy crawlyz & burdz ov teh skyz & burdz liek ostridges & stuf who cant flyz; cuz i so sry i madez them.
-
8 But noah findz favor in da eyez ov Ceiling Cat.
+
8 But Ceiling Cat liekd noah alot.
-
9 Thees r teh generashuns ov noah. noah wuz righteous man, an' perfect in his generashuns: noah walkd wif Ceiling Cat.  
+
9 This is story about noah. noah wuz rightchus d00d, & liek mor rightchus then any1 els. noah hung out wif Ceiling Cat alot & lissend 2 tunez & played pokemons & stuff.. & sumtiems Ceiling Cat even letz him winz cuz he liekd him alot.
-
10 An' noah begat 3 sons, shem, ham, an' japheth.  
+
10 & noah begat 3 sons, shem, ham, & japheth. but i alrdy told u that.
-
11 An' teh earth wuz corrupt before Ceiling Cat, an' teh earth wuz filld wif meanies.
+
11 & teh urth wuz corruptd & messed up, & teh urth wuz filld wif meanies.
-
12 An' Ceiling Cat saw teh earth, an', behold, it wuz corrupt; 4 all flesh had corruptd their wai upon teh earth.  
+
12 & Ceiling Cat saw teh urth, & saw taht it wuz corruptd cuz all teh ppl had messed it up.
-
13 An' Ceiling Cat said unto noah, teh end ov all flesh iz come before me; 4 da earth iz filld wif violence thru them; an', behold, im gonna destroy them wif teh earth. I should haev kept it in Beta lawnger :(.  
+
13 & Ceiling Cat sed 2 noah, i iz gonna pwnz the whole urth; cuz teh urth has mor violence then WoW & grand theft auto; so im gonna pwnz them & teh whole urth. all teh filez in ppls hedz iz all corrupted & they keep emailin em to all ther frendz. :( i should haev kept it in Beta longr & inventd mcafee & nortonz & stuff to keep out trojan snake wormz & viruses & rootkitz & stuf liek that.
-
14 Make thee an ark ov gophr wud; rooms shalt joo maek in da ark, an' shalt pitch it within an' without wif pitch.  
+
14 Make an ark ov gophr wud; maek roomz in teh ark, & cover it wif tar on teh insidez & outsidez. & noah sed wait a minit u cant gets wood from gophrs, u has 2 use treez. & Ceiling Cat sed i can callz a tree a gophr if i wantz cuz i iz Ceiling Cat. so stfu & go getz ur hammerz & sawz & stuff. & noah sed k, brb.
-
15 An' dis iz how thou shalt make it: teh length ov teh ark 3 hundrd cubits, teh breadth ov it fifty cubits, an' teh height ov it thirty cubits.  
+
15 & Ceiling Cat sed dis iz how u makez it: teh length ov teh ark 300 cubits, teh breadth ov it 50 cubits, & teh height ov it 30 cubits. & noah sed wtf iz a cubit & Ceiling Cat sed stfu again. so noah did.
-
16 Light shalt thou make 2 teh ark, an' 2 cubit shalt thou finish it upward; an' teh door ov teh ark shalt thou set in da side thereof; wif lowr, second, an' third storiez shalt thou make it.
+
16 maek sum windoze (but not teh µ!¢®0$0ƒ+ kind) in teh ark, 2 cubitz hai; & mek teh door in teh side; & maek it wif 1th, 2th, & 3th storiez.
-
17 An' i, behold, i do brin teh flood ov waters upon dis earth, 2 destroy all flesh, wherein iz teh breath ov life, fum undr heaven; everythin dat iz in da earth shall die.  
+
17 & chek it out, i makez teh flood ov waters upon teh hole urth, 2 pwnz all teh ppl & aminals, wherein iz teh breath ov lief, fum undr teh skyz; evrythin in teh urth will get ded.
-
18 But im gonna establish meh covenant wif thee; an' thou shalt come into teh ark, thou, an' thy sons, an' thy wife, an' thy sons' wivez wif thee.  
+
18 But i iz taeks care ov u & keeps u safe cuz i lieks u alot; & u shal come into teh ark, u, & ur sons, & ur wief, & ur sons' wifez 2.
-
19 An' ov every livin thin ov all flesh, 2 ov every sort shalt thou brin into teh ark, 2 keep them aliv wif thee; they shall b male an' female.  
+
19 & ov every livin thin, taek 2 ov every kind into teh ark, 2 keep them aliv wif u; mek shur dey r male & female so dey can meks mor aminals after dey leavs teh ark but i wont letz dem haz sexxs on teh ark cuz mor aminals wud mek it 2 crouded.
-
20 Ov teh birdz aftr their kind, an' ov teh cattle aftr their kind, ov every creepin thin ov teh ground aftr its kind, 2 ov every sort shall come unto thee, 2 keep them aliv.  
+
20 Taek all kinds of teh birdz, & ov teh moocows, & ov teh creepy crawlyz on teh urth, 2 ov evry kind 2 keep them aliv. but dont worry about teh fishz, dey can swim gud.
-
21 An' taek thou unto thee ov all fud dat iz eaten, an' gathr it 2 thee; an' it shall b 4 fud 4 thee, an' 4 them.  
+
21 & taek teh fud dat all teh ppl & aminals lieks 2 eatz, & gathr it up; & it shall b 4 fud 4 u, & 4 them. & noah sed thers gonna b alot ov $#!+ to shuvl wif all dem aminals & stuff, & Ceiling Cat sed stfu ill givez dem all rael bad constipashun so dont worry about it. & noah sed k and shutted up.
-
22 Thus did noah; accordin 2 all dat Ceiling Cat commandd him, so did he.  
+
22 so noah did all that; evrythin dat Ceiling Cat told him, he did it.
 +
[[Category:Genesis|Genesis 6]]
[[Category:Genesis|Genesis 6]]

Revision as of 20:14, 9 October 2007

Old Testament
Bible5.gif

1 & when men begun 2 begats kidz on teh urth, dey had dawters. wich is gud cuz Ceiling Cat still wudnt let them masturbate.

2 & teh sons ov Ceiling Cat saw taht teh dawters ov men wer rly hot & sexy; & they "knew them" and teh dawters ov men sed "PENIS GOES WHERE?" & they had sexxs but no buttsecks cuz it hadnt been inventd yet.

3 & Ceiling Cat sed, i iz not gonna fite wif man 4 evr, 4 dat he also iz flesh: yet shall his dais b liek a long tiem 4 u guys, but 4 me.. not so much.

4 Teh Nephilim wer in teh urth in dose dais to scroos teh Creationists, & also aftr dat, when teh sons ov Ceiling Cat & dawters ov men had sexxs but still no buttsecks, & they begats kidz. & teh kidz were powrful liek superman & wonder woman & all teh avatars in WoW, & dey wer all famous & stuf.

5 & Ceiling Cat saw dat teh ppl on teh urth wuz all wikkid & mean & evil, & dat ppl thot ov wikkid mean evil stuf all teh tiem. & they rited wikkidpedia so evry1 wud knoes how 2 b all wikkid & mean & evil.

6 & Ceiling Cat wuz rly sry dat he had madez ppl on teh urth, & it madez him all sad & pissed off & stuff.

7 & Ceiling Cat sed im gonna pwnz all teh ppl & aminals what i has creatd on teh urth; ppl & moo cows & creepy crawlyz & burdz ov teh skyz & burdz liek ostridges & stuf who cant flyz; cuz i so sry i madez them.

8 But Ceiling Cat liekd noah alot.

9 This is story about noah. noah wuz rightchus d00d, & liek mor rightchus then any1 els. noah hung out wif Ceiling Cat alot & lissend 2 tunez & played pokemons & stuff.. & sumtiems Ceiling Cat even letz him winz cuz he liekd him alot.

10 & noah begat 3 sons, shem, ham, & japheth. but i alrdy told u that.

11 & teh urth wuz corruptd & messed up, & teh urth wuz filld wif meanies.

12 & Ceiling Cat saw teh urth, & saw taht it wuz corruptd cuz all teh ppl had messed it up.

13 & Ceiling Cat sed 2 noah, i iz gonna pwnz the whole urth; cuz teh urth has mor violence then WoW & grand theft auto; so im gonna pwnz them & teh whole urth. all teh filez in ppls hedz iz all corrupted & they keep emailin em to all ther frendz. :( i should haev kept it in Beta longr & inventd mcafee & nortonz & stuff to keep out trojan snake wormz & viruses & rootkitz & stuf liek that.

14 Make an ark ov gophr wud; maek roomz in teh ark, & cover it wif tar on teh insidez & outsidez. & noah sed wait a minit u cant gets wood from gophrs, u has 2 use treez. & Ceiling Cat sed i can callz a tree a gophr if i wantz cuz i iz Ceiling Cat. so stfu & go getz ur hammerz & sawz & stuff. & noah sed k, brb.

15 & Ceiling Cat sed dis iz how u makez it: teh length ov teh ark 300 cubits, teh breadth ov it 50 cubits, & teh height ov it 30 cubits. & noah sed wtf iz a cubit & Ceiling Cat sed stfu again. so noah did.

16 maek sum windoze (but not teh µ!¢®0$0ƒ+ kind) in teh ark, 2 cubitz hai; & mek teh door in teh side; & maek it wif 1th, 2th, & 3th storiez.

17 & chek it out, i makez teh flood ov waters upon teh hole urth, 2 pwnz all teh ppl & aminals, wherein iz teh breath ov lief, fum undr teh skyz; evrythin in teh urth will get ded.

18 But i iz taeks care ov u & keeps u safe cuz i lieks u alot; & u shal come into teh ark, u, & ur sons, & ur wief, & ur sons' wifez 2.

19 & ov every livin thin, taek 2 ov every kind into teh ark, 2 keep them aliv wif u; mek shur dey r male & female so dey can meks mor aminals after dey leavs teh ark but i wont letz dem haz sexxs on teh ark cuz mor aminals wud mek it 2 crouded.

20 Taek all kinds of teh birdz, & ov teh moocows, & ov teh creepy crawlyz on teh urth, 2 ov evry kind 2 keep them aliv. but dont worry about teh fishz, dey can swim gud.

21 & taek teh fud dat all teh ppl & aminals lieks 2 eatz, & gathr it up; & it shall b 4 fud 4 u, & 4 them. & noah sed thers gonna b alot ov $#!+ to shuvl wif all dem aminals & stuff, & Ceiling Cat sed stfu ill givez dem all rael bad constipashun so dont worry about it. & noah sed k and shutted up.

22 so noah did all that; evrythin dat Ceiling Cat told him, he did it.




Genesis 6
Books Chapters
← Previous Next → ← Previous Next →
N/A Book of Exodus Genesis Five Genesis Seven
Personal tools