Genesis 5

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Old Testament
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Frum Adam to Noah

1 Dis iz teh book ov teh generashuns ov adam. in da dai dat Ceiling Cat creatd manz, in da likenes ov Ceiling Cat him maked dem but he didnt gaev any furz liek teh moocows so wud has 2 wear cloths An evry1 knoes cats dont liek to wear cloths so that wuz 1 mor mean Ceiling Cat did 2 teh peepz. (Nowza boarin part. Lotza nummers. u can skip, me no cayr.)2 Boi An gurl creatd himz, an givd cheezburgrz, An calld their naim adam (teh peeps who rited this bibel wantz to b raely shur u knowz ther naim, srsly!), in da dai when dey gots creatd.

3 An adam livd 100 An 30 yeers, An maded son in hims own likenes, aftr his luukz; An calld name seth:4 An teh dais ov adam aftr him maded seth waz 800 yeers: An him maded lotsa kidz.5 An all teh dais dat adam livd waz 900 An 30 yeers: An him got ded.

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6 An seth livd 100 An 5 yeers, An maded enosh:7 An seth livd aftr him maded enosh 800 An 7 yeers, An maded lotsa kidz:8 An all teh dais ov seth waz 900 An 12 yeers: An him got ded.

9 An enosh livd 90 yeers, An maded kenan.10 An enosh livd aftr him maded kenan 800 An 15 yeers, An maded lotsa kidz:11 An all teh dais ov enosh waz 900 An 5 yeers: An him got ded.

12 An kenan livd 70 yeers, An maded mahalalel:13 An kenan livd aftr him maded mahalalel 800 An 40 yeers, An maded lotsa kidz:14 An all teh dais ov kenan waz 900 An 10 yeers: An him got ded.

15 An mahalalel livd 60 An 5 yeers, An maded jard:16 An mahalalel livd aftr him maded jard 800 An 30 yeers, An maded lotsa kidz:17 An all teh dais ov mahalalel waz 800 An 90 An 5 yeers: An him got ded.

18 An jard livd 100 An 60 An 2 yeers, An maded enoch:19 An jard livd aftr him maded enoch 800 yeers, An maded lotsa kidz:20 An all teh dais ov jard waz 900 An 60 An 2 yeers: An him got ded.

21 An enoch livd 60 An 5 yeers, An maded methuselah:22 An enoch walkd wif Ceiling Cat aftr him maded methuselah 300 yeers, An maded lotsa kidz:23 An all teh dais ov enoch waz 300 An 60 An 5 yeers:24 An enoch hung out wif Ceiling Cat alot An him didnt gets ded liek evry1 els. him flyed up in invisibul airplayn 2 b wif Ceiling Cat 4evr.

25 An methuselah livd 100 An 80 An 7 yeers, An maded lamech:26 An methuselah livd aftr him maded lamech 700 An 80 An 2 yeers, An maded lotsa kidz.27 An all teh dais ov methuselah waz 900 An 60 An 9 yeers (srsly!): An him got ded.

28 An lamech livd 100 An 80 An 2 yeers, An maded son:29 An him calld hims name noah, sayin, dis cans gived comfort us in r werk An in da toil ov r hanz, which camed becuz ov teh urth Ceiling Cat havded cursd.30 An lamech livd aftr him maded noah 500 An 90 An 5 yeers, An maded lotsa kidz:31 An all teh dais ov lamech waz 700 An 70 An 7 yeers: An him got ded.

32 An noah wuz 500 yeers old: An noah maded shem An ham (who wuz not lunch meet lol) An japheth.

Genesis 5
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