Genesis 49

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Old Testament
Jacob giveh Cheezburgerz to sons

1 An Jacob said to his kittehs "Coem here I give u invisible cheezburgrz an tell wat will happn to ur kittehs' kittehs' kittehs2 so listen plz! I iz Israel ur dadz.3 Reuben, ur mai first kitteh! U cud haev been great like me4 but ur kittehs won't have cheezburgrz cuz u peed in mai bedz! An scratched mai couch!"

5 "Simeon and Levi, ur bad mean kittehs!6 I dun wanna think of it but u killed a kitteh and smashed a wall!7 So ur cursed an ur baby kittehs will be scattrd an not frenz."

8 "Judah, ur gud kitteh. U cen be squeez kittehs necks an dey lick ur feetz.9 Ur a lion! Other kittehs DO NOT WANT wake up lion.10 An ur kittehs will rule ur bros kittehs until ceiling cat comes to gather all kittehz!11 An ceiling cat will give kittehz a bath12 an milk an wine!"

13 "Zebuluns kittehs can has hoem by the sea an can has boats to play with."

14 "Issachar iz a donkey carrying invizbl hevvy rox15 an wantz to rest an so will be servant an licks feetz."

16 "Dan will be judge for his kittehs!17 He can be serpentcat and bitez teh horses so ridrs fall LOL!"

18 I can haz salvation yet, ceiling cat?

19 "Gad, a walrus take ur bukket! But u can haz it bak."

20 "Asher kittehs are roly-poly! LOL They maded cookies but eated them."

21 "Napthali, ur bum iz gassy. But u talk nice, so iz k."

22 "Joseph, u can haz many many kittehs! Soem kittehs live across teh sea!23 Ur bros try hurt u an ur kittehs24 but iz ok. Ceiling cat make u an ur kittehs strong ninjacats.25 Ceiling cat giev u lotz cheezburgrz!26 An u can haz ur dads cheezburgrz an ur bros not haev em."

27 "Benjamin huntz wild cheezburgrz at nite! LOL!"

28 An the 12 kittehs eated cheezburgrz from dads.

Jacob getz teh ded

29 An dads sed "Oh noez I will join ceiling cat forevur so burry me inna cave30 ovr thur31 whur iz bureed Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Rebekah, an Leah.32 Cave iz ovr thur an we bot it." Genesis_23#233 An he went teh ded.

Genesis 49
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