Genesis 47

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Old Testament
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1 Then Joseph sed 2 pharo my old man An my bros An hter famlyz An dere kittehs An ther sheepz An hter moo cows An stufs r in ur goshen.2 An he taekz 5 ov his bros 2 seez pharo.

3 An pharo sed 2 joseps bros wot u do 4 werk An they sed we r all shepherds.4 An dey sed we use to liv in teh canaan but u tellz us we can has base in teh egpytz cuz our moocows dosent has ne f00dz An dey wil get ded if we stais ther so pls we can has base in goshen?.

5 An pharo sed 2 Joseph ur old man An ur bros r in ur eygpt lookin 4 fudz 4 ther sheepz An hter moo cows An stuff.6 An u iz rly gud d00d An i liekz u alot so ur old man An ur bros can has rly gud base in Goshen: An dey can b bosscats of all my moo cows An sheeplz 2.

7 An Joseph tookd Jacob his old man to sees pharo: An Jacob sed thx muchz pharo. Ceiling Cat sez u r rly gud d00d An Ceiling Cat wil watch out 4 u.8 An pharo axt Jacob how old r u?

9 An Jacob sed i iz rly old d00d 100 An 30 yrz old An i has gud lief An my old man wuz 100 An 47 yrz old wehn he got ded.10 An Jacob sed 2 pharo gon 2 goshen kthxbai.

11 An Joseph maded teh vry bestest base in all ov teh egyptz 4 his old man An his bros in goshen wich was calld land of rameses 2. (but not naemd aftr ramses teh 2th cuz he wuznt bornd yet.)12 An Joseph took caer ov his old man An his bros An all his old mans famlyz An gaev htem lotz of cheezburgrs An cookies An corns An stufffz. An catfudz An catnips 4 teh kittehs 2.

Joeseph getz teh hungries

13 An l8r hter wuznt ne mor cheezburgrs An cookies evn in teh egypt cuz all teh peepz An kittehs had eated it all An htey wuz all hungry An starvin liek evry1 els.14 An Joseph gaev all teh moneyz in egypt An in canaan 2 pharo 2 buy all teh fudz An stuf.15 An dey didnt has ne mor moneys. An l8r all teh Egyptians caem 2 Joseph An sed we can has cheesburgrz An cookies An stuffz? cuz we r all hungry An starvin An stufz but we dosent has ne mor moneyz An f00d stamps haznt ben nvntd yet An evn all our moocowz is all hungryz An starvin cuz tehr iznt evn ne gras left cuz dey eated it all An we evn eated sum ov it.

16 An Joseph sed i can haz ur moo cows An sheeplz An stuf An u can has cheezburgrs An cookies An stuf.17 An dey sed k An joesph can has all tehr horses An sheepz An moo cows An donkyz An Joseph gaev htem cheezburgrz An cookies An cornz An catfoods An stufs An 4 a hol yeer.

18 An teh nex yr dey caem bak 2 josephs base An sed we can has cheezburgrz An cookies An stuffs? sry we dosnt has ne mor moneyz An u alrdy haz all our moo cows An sheeplz An stuf An food stamps hasnt ben nventd yet An all we haz left is our basez so all our base can b belong 2 u.19 othr wiez we will all get ded form teh hungryz An teh strvashunz. so u can haz all our base An we can has cheezbugrz An cookies An stuf k? An we can has seedz 2 An we wil werk on all teh farmz 4 pharo kkkkk?

20 so all teh peepz base wer belong 2 pharo An teh peeps cud haz cheezburgrz An cookies An seeds An stuf An evry1 maded farmz 4 pharo.21 An all teh ppl in teh eygpt werkd 4 pharo in teh cityz An stuf wen dey wuznt in ther famrz raizin tehr fr00ts An vebgtablz An stuf.22 but pharo sed 2 joeph u no can haz fake Ceiling Cats bases cuz fake Ceiling Cats wil get all pissed off An stuf. but pharo didnt kno taht fake Ceiling Cats wuz fake Ceiling Cats he thot htey wer rael An he wuz all skeerd An stufs. so he didnt taekd fake Ceiling Cats bases.

23 Then Joseph sed 2 teh ppl u An all ur base 4 blong 2 pharo: tek teh seedz An mek farmz.24 An sum of ur vegbatels An froots is blong 2 pharo An teh rest is blong 2 u so u An ur famlyz wont b all hungry An starvin An stuff.

25 An they sed thx muchz u is rly gud d00d, u tek caer of us An we will werks 4 pharo An we wont b all starvin nao. kthxbai.

26 An htats how dey stil duz thingz in teh egyptz. sum of teh f00dz is belong 2 pharo An teh rest is blong 2 teh ppl but all fake Ceiling Catz base is stil blong 2 fake Ceiling Cats.

27 An teh isrealitz livd in goshen long tiem An they hadz lotz An lotz of moneys An stuff. An had lotz An lotz of kidz. srsly.

28 An l8r jacob wuz rly rly old d00d An he got 2 b 100 An 40 An 7 yrz old liek his old man.29 An he noo he wuz gonna get ded prty soon An he sed 2 joesph promis me u is not burys me in teh egypt wen i get ded.30 but u bury me wif my old man in teh canaan An joseph sed k.

31 An jacob sed Ceiling Cat is watchin u An if u dont do htat den Ceiling Cat wil be all pissed off An stuff An maybe he evn meks u ded. 4 rael. den jacob sed u r rly gud kid. An den jacob wuz all tired cuz he wuz rly old d00d An he sed nitey nite An wnet 2 sleepz.

Genesis 47
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