Genesis 42

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Old Testament
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Joseph Broz go 2 Egypt

1 wehn Jacob hurd taht tehr wuz cheezburgrz An cookies An cornz An catnipz An stufz in Egypt An teh peepz wuznt all hungry An starvin An stuf, he sed 2 his kidz:2 yo d00dz, i hurd dat tehr iz fudz An catnipz An stuff in egypt. go tehre An buy sum so we wont b all hungry An starving An gettin ded An stuffs. An dont 4gets teh cat foodz An teh catnipz cuz teh kittehs iz all hungry An starvin An stuf 2.

3 An dey sed k, gon to egypt, brb.4 But Jacob wudnt let tehr kid bro benjamin go wif dem cuz he thot, if all teh kidz gets pwnzd by wikkid evil mean d00ds wuts been raedin wikkidpedia, or if pharo deciedz to pwnz dem, i stil can haz 1 kid left..5 An jacobz sons went wif alot of othr peepz 2 by foodz An stuff in egypt cuz lotz of otehr ppl in canaan wuz all hungry An starvin.

6 An Joseph wuz bosscat ov egypt An he wuz bosscat ov all teh gynormus bildins wehre teh ppl cud by cheezburgrz An cookies An catnipz An stuf. An josephs 10 bros caem An bowed down 2 him with their faces in teh drtz cuz tahts wut ppl use to do bak in teh dai wen dey wantd 2 sho respext 4 bosscatz An pharos An important peepz liek dat.7 An wehn Joseph seez his bros, he decieded 2 fakez dem out so he made liek he didnt knos dem An he wuz all liek i iz bosscat kiss my butt An he axt dem wehre u caemz form? An they sed from Canaan An we wantz 2 buy f00dz An stuffz cuz our peeps An kittehs iz all hungry An starvin An stuff.

8 An Joseph reckonizd his bros, but they didnt reckonizd him cuz he jus lookd liek big egipshun bosscat An besieds teh last tiem dey saw him wuz wehn dey sold him 2 teh ishmeelitez 4 20 moneyz An he wuz kid bak tehn.9 An Joseph sed u iz spyz, u jus wantz 2 seez if my peepz iz all hungry An starvin An gettin ded liek all teh ohter ppl.

10 An they sed no wai, we wantz 2 buy f00dz An stufz liek all teh othr ppl.11 We r all bros An we iz gud d00dz An not spyz.

12 An he sed no wai, u iz spyz.

13 An they sed we r 12 bros but our kid bro is bak at our old manz base An one ov our bros got ded long tiem ago.

14 An Joseph sed i stil thinkx u r spyz:15 so i no letz u goez bak 2 ur base til ur kid bro com 2 my base.16 if u dosent do htis u iz spyz 4 shur An i iz gonna pwnz u.17 An teh cheef ov poleesez puts tehm in teh dunjon 4 3 dais.

18 An l8r Joseph sed 2 dem, Ceiling Cat sez u go getz ur kid bro:19 If u iz gud d00ds, leav 1 ov ur bros in teh prison An taek all teh cheezburgrz An cookies An cornz An katf00dz An catnipz An stuffs bak 2 ur base:20 An if u brngz ur kidbro bak to my base I no pwnz him.21 An they sed 2 each otehr, We rly fuxxed up wif our othr bro An didnt lissen 2 him An we did wikkid mean evil stuf 2 him An nao we iz scrood. srsly.

22 An Reuben sed i told u so, i sed dont pwnz him but u dosent lissen 2 me either An nao we iz rly scrood 4 shur.23 An dey didnt kno dat Joseph undrstoodz dem.

24 An joseph sed xqz me gotta go 2 teh sandboks brb An tehn he got all sad An emo An stuff An cryed but he didnt letz dem seez An den he cam bak An took hiz bro Simeon An puts him bak in teh dunjon.

25 Then Joseph tellz hiz peepz 2 giv hiz bros lotz of cheezburgrs An cookies An stufs An puts hter moneyz bak in hter bukkits wif teh foodz An dey sed k.26 An his bros filz up all tehr bukkitz wif teh foodz An stuf An sed gon 2 canaan kthxbai.

27 An it wuz lunch tiem An one of teh bros went 2 gets cheezburgrz An cookiez An seez his moneyz in hiz bukkit wif teh fudz.28 An he sed wtf i has a money in my bukkit wif teh f00dz An dey gotz all skeerd An almos had heart attaxz An stuf An dey sed Ceiling Cat An teh bosscat ov egypt mus b messin wif us.

29 An they cam bak home 2 tehr old manz base An sed 2 him:30 teh bosscat ov egypt wuz mean d00d An thot we wuz spyz or sumthin.31 An we sed no wai, we iz gud d00dz:32 we iz 12 bros but 1 of dem got ded An our kidbro is bak at our old manz base.

33 An teh bosscat sed leev one of ur bros at my base An take teh f00dz An stuf so u wont be all hungry An starvin An gettin ded An stufz An go wai:34 An bring ur kid bro bak 2 my base so i wil know taht u r gud d00dz An not spyz An i wil letz ur otehr bro out ov teh prison An u can hangz out in egypt k?

35 An dey wuz gettin all teh cheezburgrz An cookiez An cakez An icecreemz An katf00dz An catnipz outta teh bukkits An dey all sed wtf we has a money! An dey An tehr old man got all skeerd An stufz. srsly.36 An Jacob sed wtf Joseph is ded An Simeon iz in teh prison An u will taek Benjamin 2 egypt An prity soon all my kidz wil be gon.

37 An Reuben sed if benjamin getz ded u can pwnz my 2 kidz. i wil maek shur he getz bak to our base An not getz pwnzd.

38 An he sed no wai, his othr bro is ded An he no can haz no mor bros An if sum1 pwnz him i wil has heart atakxz An getz ded 2.

Genesis 42
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