Genesis 4

From LOLCat Bible Translation Project

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
m (Robot: Automated text replacement (-Invis[ia]ble Man +Ceiling Cat))
Line 1: Line 1:
{{Old Testament}}
{{Old Testament}}
-
1 An' teh man told his wife "We gun have keeds" and eve his wife said "PENIS GOES WHERE?" Aftur teh explanashun adam "knews" eve his wife; an' she birthd', an' is has teh kid cain, an' said, i has gotten man wif teh halp ov Invisible Man, but he kinda mean fo' makin' it hert so bad.  
+
1 An' teh man told his wife "We gun have keeds" and eve his wife said "PENIS GOES WHERE?" Aftur teh explanashun adam "knews" eve his wife; an' she birthd', an' is has teh kid cain, an' said, i has gotten man wif teh halp ov Ceiling Cat, but he kinda mean fo' makin' it hert so bad.  
2 An' again she is has his brothr abel. an' abel wuz keepr ov teh moo cows, but cain wuz tillr ov teh ground cuz he was part mexican.
2 An' again she is has his brothr abel. an' abel wuz keepr ov teh moo cows, but cain wuz tillr ov teh ground cuz he was part mexican.
-
3 An' in proces ov time it came 2 pas, dat cain brought ov teh fruit ov teh ground an offerin unto Invisible Man, because he just got off Atkins.
+
3 An' in proces ov time it came 2 pas, dat cain brought ov teh fruit ov teh ground an offerin unto Ceiling Cat, because he just got off Atkins.
-
4 An' abel, he also brought ov teh first froots ov his moo cows an' ov teh fat of em cuz teh moo cows are on Atkins. An' Abel gaev to Invisible Man his Pokemans. An' Invisible Man liekd abel an' his fudz an' his pokemans
+
4 An' abel, he also brought ov teh first froots ov his moo cows an' ov teh fat of em cuz teh moo cows are on Atkins. An' Abel gaev to Ceiling Cat his Pokemans. An' Ceiling Cat liekd abel an' his fudz an' his pokemans
5 But cain an' 2 his offerin he had no liekd. an' cain wuz mad, an' his countenance fell.  
5 But cain an' 2 his offerin he had no liekd. an' cain wuz mad, an' his countenance fell.  
-
6 An' Invisible Man said unto cain, y art thou wroth? an' y iz thy countenance fallen?  
+
6 An' Ceiling Cat said unto cain, y art thou wroth? an' y iz thy countenance fallen?  
7 If joo do gud, isn't it gun go up? an' if joo doest not well, sin coucheth at teh door: an' unto thee shall b its desire, but do thou rule ovar it.  
7 If joo do gud, isn't it gun go up? an' if joo doest not well, sin coucheth at teh door: an' unto thee shall b its desire, but do thou rule ovar it.  
Line 17: Line 17:
8 An' cain told abel his brothr. an' it came 2 pas, when they were in da field, dat cain rose up against abel his brothr, an' slew him.  
8 An' cain told abel his brothr. an' it came 2 pas, when they were in da field, dat cain rose up against abel his brothr, an' slew him.  
-
9 An' Invisible Man said unto cain, where iz abel thy brothr? an' he said, i knoe not: iz i meh brothr's keepr?
+
9 An' Ceiling Cat said unto cain, where iz abel thy brothr? an' he said, i knoe not: iz i meh brothr's keepr?
10 An' he said, wat hast thou dun? teh voice ov thy brothr's blood crieth unto me fum teh ground.  
10 An' he said, wat hast thou dun? teh voice ov thy brothr's blood crieth unto me fum teh ground.  
Line 25: Line 25:
12 When thou tillest teh ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee its strength; fugitiv an' wanderr shalt thou b in da earth.  
12 When thou tillest teh ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee its strength; fugitiv an' wanderr shalt thou b in da earth.  
-
13 An' cain said unto Invisible Man, meh punishment iz greatr than i can bear.  
+
13 An' cain said unto Ceiling Cat, meh punishment iz greatr than i can bear.  
14 Behold, thou hast driven me out dis dai fum teh face ov teh ground; an' fum thy face shall i b hid; an' i shall b fugitiv an' wanderr in da earth; an' it will come 2 pas, dat whosoevr findeth me will slay me.  
14 Behold, thou hast driven me out dis dai fum teh face ov teh ground; an' fum thy face shall i b hid; an' i shall b fugitiv an' wanderr in da earth; an' it will come 2 pas, dat whosoevr findeth me will slay me.  
-
15 An' Invisible Man said unto him, therefore whosoevr slayeth cain, vengeance shall b taken on him sevenfold. an' Invisible Man appointd sign 4 cain, lest any findin him should smite him.  
+
15 An' Ceiling Cat said unto him, therefore whosoevr slayeth cain, vengeance shall b taken on him sevenfold. an' Ceiling Cat appointd sign 4 cain, lest any findin him should smite him.  
-
16 An' cain went out fum teh presence ov Invisible Man, an' dwelt in da land ov nod, on teh east ov eden.  
+
16 An' cain went out fum teh presence ov Ceiling Cat, an' dwelt in da land ov nod, on teh east ov eden.  
17 An' cain knew his wife; an' she conceivd, an' is has teh kid enoch: an' he buildd city, an' calld teh name ov teh city, aftr teh name ov his son, enoch.
17 An' cain knew his wife; an' she conceivd, an' is has teh kid enoch: an' he buildd city, an' calld teh name ov teh city, aftr teh name ov his son, enoch.
Line 49: Line 49:
24 If cain shall b avengd sevenfold, truly lamech seventy an' sevenfold.  
24 If cain shall b avengd sevenfold, truly lamech seventy an' sevenfold.  
-
25 An' adam knew his wife again; an' she is has teh son, an' calld his name seth. 4, said she, Invisible Man hath appointd me anothr sed instead ov abel; 4 cain slew him.  
+
25 An' adam knew his wife again; an' she is has teh son, an' calld his name seth. 4, said she, Ceiling Cat hath appointd me anothr sed instead ov abel; 4 cain slew him.  
-
26 An' 2 seth, 2 him also thar wuz born son; an' he calld his name enosh. den began men 2 call upon teh name ov Invisible Man.
+
26 An' 2 seth, 2 him also thar wuz born son; an' he calld his name enosh. den began men 2 call upon teh name ov Ceiling Cat.
[[Category:Genesis|Genesis 4]]
[[Category:Genesis|Genesis 4]]

Revision as of 05:48, 8 October 2007

Old Testament
Bible5.gif

1 An' teh man told his wife "We gun have keeds" and eve his wife said "PENIS GOES WHERE?" Aftur teh explanashun adam "knews" eve his wife; an' she birthd', an' is has teh kid cain, an' said, i has gotten man wif teh halp ov Ceiling Cat, but he kinda mean fo' makin' it hert so bad.

2 An' again she is has his brothr abel. an' abel wuz keepr ov teh moo cows, but cain wuz tillr ov teh ground cuz he was part mexican.

3 An' in proces ov time it came 2 pas, dat cain brought ov teh fruit ov teh ground an offerin unto Ceiling Cat, because he just got off Atkins.

4 An' abel, he also brought ov teh first froots ov his moo cows an' ov teh fat of em cuz teh moo cows are on Atkins. An' Abel gaev to Ceiling Cat his Pokemans. An' Ceiling Cat liekd abel an' his fudz an' his pokemans

5 But cain an' 2 his offerin he had no liekd. an' cain wuz mad, an' his countenance fell.

6 An' Ceiling Cat said unto cain, y art thou wroth? an' y iz thy countenance fallen?

7 If joo do gud, isn't it gun go up? an' if joo doest not well, sin coucheth at teh door: an' unto thee shall b its desire, but do thou rule ovar it.

8 An' cain told abel his brothr. an' it came 2 pas, when they were in da field, dat cain rose up against abel his brothr, an' slew him.

9 An' Ceiling Cat said unto cain, where iz abel thy brothr? an' he said, i knoe not: iz i meh brothr's keepr?

10 An' he said, wat hast thou dun? teh voice ov thy brothr's blood crieth unto me fum teh ground.

11 An' nao cursd art thou fum teh ground, which hath opend its mouth 2 receiv thy brothr's blood fum thy hand;

12 When thou tillest teh ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee its strength; fugitiv an' wanderr shalt thou b in da earth.

13 An' cain said unto Ceiling Cat, meh punishment iz greatr than i can bear.

14 Behold, thou hast driven me out dis dai fum teh face ov teh ground; an' fum thy face shall i b hid; an' i shall b fugitiv an' wanderr in da earth; an' it will come 2 pas, dat whosoevr findeth me will slay me.

15 An' Ceiling Cat said unto him, therefore whosoevr slayeth cain, vengeance shall b taken on him sevenfold. an' Ceiling Cat appointd sign 4 cain, lest any findin him should smite him.

16 An' cain went out fum teh presence ov Ceiling Cat, an' dwelt in da land ov nod, on teh east ov eden.

17 An' cain knew his wife; an' she conceivd, an' is has teh kid enoch: an' he buildd city, an' calld teh name ov teh city, aftr teh name ov his son, enoch.

18 An' unto enoch wuz born irad: an' irad is has teh kid mehujael: an' mehujael is has teh kid methushael; an' methushael is has teh kid lamech.

19 An' lamech took unto him 2 wivez: teh name ov teh wan wuz adah, an' teh name ov teh othr zillah.

20 An' adah is has teh kid jabal: he wuz teh fathr ov such as dwell in tents an' has cattle.

21 An' his brothr's name wuz jubal: he wuz teh fathr ov all such as handle teh harp an' pipe.

22 An' zillah, she also has teh kid tubal-cain, teh forgr ov every cuttin instrument ov bras an' iron: an' teh sistr ov tubal-cain wuz naamah.

23 An' lamech said unto his wivez: adah an' zillah, hear meh voice; ye wivez ov lamech, hearken unto meh speech: 4 i has slain man 4 woundin me, an' young man 4 bruisin me:

24 If cain shall b avengd sevenfold, truly lamech seventy an' sevenfold.

25 An' adam knew his wife again; an' she is has teh son, an' calld his name seth. 4, said she, Ceiling Cat hath appointd me anothr sed instead ov abel; 4 cain slew him.

26 An' 2 seth, 2 him also thar wuz born son; an' he calld his name enosh. den began men 2 call upon teh name ov Ceiling Cat.




Genesis 4
Books Chapters
← Previous Next → ← Previous Next →
N/A Book of Exodus Genesis Three Genesis Five

1157775914442.jpg:

Catdick.jpg

Personal tools