Genesis 39

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Old Testament
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Joseph DO NOT WANT Potiphar'z skanky waifu

1 An ne way teh ishmeelite d00dz taekz Joseph 2 Egypt; An taht egyptian d00d Potiphar who wuz pharos cheef ov poleesez buyed him An gaev tehm alot of moneyz.

2 An Ceiling Cat wuz takin care ov Joseph, An he can has lotz ov moneyz An got to liv in potiphars base An eatz cheezburgrz An cookies An sleep on nice comfortabuhlz bedz An laptops An stuffs.3 An potiphar saw taht Ceiling Cat rly liekd joseph An evrything he did workd out gud cuz Ceiling Cat rly liekd him.4 An potiphar seez taht Joseph wuz rly gud d00d An rly gud bizness d00d 2 An he maded him bosscat of his base An letz him taekz care ov all his cheezburgrz An cookies An puterz An moneyz An stufs.5 An after all taht, Ceiling Cat blessd potiphars base An his farmz An all his stufs cuz he liekd joseph.6 An potiphar letz Joseph be bosscat ov his base An all hiz stuffs An he wuz liek rly rich d00d wif acountentz so he didnt haz 2 pay atenshun 2 how much moneyz An stufs taht blongz 2 him, xcept teh cheezburgrz An cookiez taht he eated. An Joseph wuz rly gud d00d An he wuz teh cute 2.7 An potipharz wief seez taht Joseph wuz teh cute An she sed we can haz sexxs?

8 But he sed no wai, he maded me bosscat ov his base;9 An i can haz all his stufs but i no can has sexxs wif u cuz u r his wief: An iz rly wikkid bad evil thing An u must be raedin wikkidpedia An Ceiling Cat wil b totaly pissed off if i haz sexxs wif u.10 An she wuz buggin Joseph evry dai 2 haz secks wif her but he wudnt do it even tho he wuz n00b An didnt kno about “PENIS GOES WHERE?” but he thot he mite liek 2 find out sum dai.

11 An 1 dai Joseph went 2 werkz in potiphars base An no menz wuz tehr.12 An she grabz hold ov his cloths An he runz awai rly fast but she didnt letz go of his cloths so he left dem tehre An ran wai nekid An she got all pissed off An emo An stuffz.

13 An when she saw taht he ran awai nekid,14 she IMd all teh minz An dey caem bak to teh base An she sed 2 tehm see, dis Hebr00 d00d iz liek messin wif us; he wantd to haz sexxs wif me but I sed DO NOT WANT!!!!11!15 An when i sed DO NOT WANT!!1!!!1! he got skeerd An ran awai An left his cloths here. Naked jospeh is..naked.

16 An she kept his cloths til potiphar cam bak 2 his base.17 An she sed teh Hebrew d00d came in here An wantd 2 has sexxs wif me:18 An when i sed DO NOT WANT!!!!!!! he left his cloths here An ran awai nekid. but she didnt tellz him she thot joseph wuz teh cute An he wuz rly totaly teh cute when he wuz all nekid An stuffz An she rly wantd to has sexxs wif him An she wuz bein wikkid evil bitch An tryin to getz him in trubl cuz she wuz all pissed off An stuff.

19 An when potiphar hurd wot his wikkid evil bitch wief sed, taht joseph tryz 2 do wikkid evil stuff 2 her, he bleev her An got all pissed off An stufs.20 An he takez him An puts him into teh dunjun wif all teh wikkid evil ppl An teh othr peepz taht teh king didnt liekz An he wuz ther in teh dunjun. (duh.)21 But Ceiling Cat wuz takin care ov Joseph An teh bosscat of teh prison liekd him cuz he wuz gud d00d An didnt mek ne trubl.22 An teh bosscat of teh prison maded joseph bosscat ov all teh prisoners An he told dem all 2 be gud An not mek trubl An dey sed k cuz if dey didnt maekz trubl dey cud haz gud fudz liek cheezburgrz An cookies An stufz insted ov just breds An waterz An teh guardz wudnt beetz dem up An stuf.23 An teh bosscat of teh prison didnt haz to wry about teh dunjon ne mor; cuz Ceiling Cat wuz takin care ov joseph, An wot evr he did, Ceiling Cat wuz all kewl wif it.

Genesis 39
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