Genesis 3

From LOLCat Bible Translation Project

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(Replacing page with 'Genesis 3 {{Old Testament}} ===== Bad Kittehs ===== Christopher laid (chris.laird@btinternet.com) sabotaged this article, because you lol cat biblers are ...')
Line 3: Line 3:
===== Bad Kittehs =====
===== Bad Kittehs =====
-
{{verse
+
Christopher laid (chris.laird@btinternet.com) sabotaged this article, because you lol cat biblers are sad gay freaks who are gays
-
|1=Nao teh snakez wuz mor shneakay than any beest ov teh field which Ceiling Cat had made. An he meowed unto teh woman, liek I herd that Ceiling Cat said, u shall not eated frum any tree ov teh garden? Even dem trees on dat plate?
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|2=An teh woman said unto teh snakez, i can haz froot ov teh garden!
+
-
 
+
-
|3=but ov teh fruit ov teh tree which iz in teh midel ov teh garden, Ceiling Cat sez, dun eatz it cuz if u eatz it he mek u ded.  
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|4=An teh snakez sed unto teh womenz, he no mek u ded:
+
-
 
+
-
|5=4 Ceiling Cat noes dat, teh dai u eat dat froot, den u gon b able to c, An u be liek Ceiling Cat, knowin gud An evil. An dis froot, it has a flavr.
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|6=An when teh woman saw dat teh tree wuz gud 4 fud with flavr an everything, An dat it wuz cool 2 teh eyez, An dat teh tree wuz 2 b desird 2 make man wise, she nom nom nom its froot; An she gaev sum 2 Adam, An he eated da froot.
+
-
 
+
-
|7=An teh eyez ov them both were opend, An they knew dat their harbls were showin An stuff cuz Ceiling Cat didnt gaev dem no furz liek teh aminals; An they sewd sum fig-leavez togethr, An made themselvez clofs. Eve even maded firs thong but was vry vry itchy. srsly.
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|8=An they heard teh meow ov Ceiling Cat walkin in teh garden in teh kewl ov teh dai: An teh man An his wife hided themselvez fum Ceiling Cat amongst teh treez ov teh garden.
+
-
 
+
-
|9=An Ceiling Cat calld unto teh man, An meowed unto him, "xqz me, wtf u just eated"?
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|10=An he said, i heard yo voice in teh garden, An i wuz scareded, because i wuz nakid An stuff; An i hided and did not want 4 u to see mah harbls kthx.
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|11=An he said, hoo told u dat u was nakid? I waz injoyin watchin you be nakids. hast thou eaten ov teh tree, dat I told u dat iz not ok u eatz ov?
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|12=An teh man said, teh woman u gave me saw teh tree An told 'bout it to me. At first I was liek "Noes!" but then, I was layk NOM NOM NOM.
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|13=An Ceiling Cat said unto teh woman, wat did u dun? An teh woman said, teh snakez playdid dirty trick on me, An i eated it.
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
[[Image:gtfo.jpg|thumb|275px|left|No srsly.]]
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|14=An Ceiling Cat sed unto teh snakez, "cuz u did dis,
+
-
:: cursd u aboov all teh moocows,
+
-
:: An aboov every one of those 4 leggd things that evolvd round here;
+
-
:: upon ur belly u gun walk An I gun take ur legs
+
-
:: An geev them to teh French 2 eatz An this is wut they gun eatz An they gun call it "Frawgs leegz",
+
-
:: An dust shalt u eated
+
-
:: all teh dais ov ur life
+
-
:: An u no getz no cookies to eated. An no cheezburgers neither. Srsly.
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|15=An im gonna put liek enmity An stuff
+
-
:: tween u An teh woman,
+
-
:: An tween thy seedz An her seedz;
+
-
:: he shall broose ur head,
+
-
:: An u gun broose his heel.
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|16=Unto teh woman he said,
+
-
:: "im gun make babies hurt alot An cause pain An stuff;
+
-
:: in pain u gun brin forth childrenz.
+
-
:: An ur WANT shall b 2 ur husband,
+
-
:: An he gun pwn u and ask for beers and sammiches."
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|17=An unto adam he said, because u hast listend to her An hast eated teh tree wut i tellz u U NO EATZ!
+
-
:: "cursd iz teh grawnd cuz of u
+
-
:: An u is b wrkin ur ass off ur hol life
+
-
:: An makin cheezburgers will be vry hard now
+
-
:: srsly.
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|18=thorns also An thistlez gun it brin forth 2 u;
+
-
:: An u gun eat teh herb ov teh field (but all teh good weedz dat iz liek catnipz 4 peepz is b illegalz An stuff lol);
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|19=in teh sweatz ov ur face
+
-
:: u gun eat bread An u no can has Gatorade,
+
-
:: till u return unto teh ground like when turds r buried in litterz,
+
-
:: 4 out ov it wast thou taken;
+
-
:: 4 dust u r,
+
-
:: An dust u gun return."
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|20=An teh man calld his womenz name eve; cuz she was teh mothr of all livn' and cuz if he nameded her bertha he woulda benn lol all da tyme
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{verse
+
-
|21=An Ceiling Cat maded 4 adam An 4 his wife coats ov skeens, An clothid 'em.
+
-
 
+
-
|22=An Ceiling Cat said, behold, teh man iz become as 1 ov us, 2 knoe gud An evil; An nao, lest he put forth his hand, An taek also ov teh tree ov life, An eat, An liv 4 evr mor.
+
-
 
+
-
|23=Ther4 Ceiling Cat sent him forth fum teh garden ov eden, 2 till teh grawnd fum where he wuz took. An it suxxd cuz ther wasnt no uniteded farmwrkar union.
+
-
 
+
-
|24=So he droov out teh man; An he placeded at teh east ov teh garden ov eden teh cherubim An stuff, An teh flaming (lol) sword which turned everywherez.
+
-
}}
+
-
 
+
[http://www.soundupload.com/audio/8pv7r7dcnwjh8kj Audio version (courtesy bcdm)]
[http://www.soundupload.com/audio/8pv7r7dcnwjh8kj Audio version (courtesy bcdm)]
[[Category:Genesis|Genesis 3]]
[[Category:Genesis|Genesis 3]]
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Exodus]]|NextChap=[[Genesis 4]]|PrevChap=[[Genesis 2]]}}
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Exodus]]|NextChap=[[Genesis 4]]|PrevChap=[[Genesis 2]]}}

Revision as of 13:06, 23 April 2008

Old Testament
Bible5.gif
Bad Kittehs

Christopher laid (chris.laird@btinternet.com) sabotaged this article, because you lol cat biblers are sad gay freaks who are gays Audio version (courtesy bcdm)

Genesis 3
Books Chapters
← Previous Next → ← Previous Next →
None Exodus Genesis 2 Genesis 4
Personal tools