From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Jacob Arrives in Paddan Aram
4 Jacob sez "whar U B from?"
- tehy sez "Haran"
5 He sez "U no Laban, Nahor's grandson"
- tehy sez "Yup"
6 He sez "He K?"
- tehy sez "yup, checkit, hiz daughter Rachel commin wif sheepz"
7 He sez "sheeps CAN HAS waterz"
8 tehy sez "sheepz NO CAN HAS waters, need moar sheepz"
Jacob Marries Leah and Rachel (bonus)
Jacob hangz out a Laban's crib 4 a month
15 Laban sez "I wants to pays U2 workz, how much U want?"
18 Jacob sez "I wurk 7 yearz then I CAN HAS Rachel?, cause I got teh loves 4 her"
21 Jacob sez "K, GIMMEH Rachel I wanna do PENIS GOES WHERE on hers"
22 So Laban has feast with sheepz, n moocowz n cookiez n stuff23 when it get dark he bring out Leah to Jacob n he did PENIS GOES WHERE? on her"24 n Laban gave servant gurl Zilpah to her as maidservent
25 When it gets light in teh morning, Leah!1!!1!! Jacob sez to Laban "WTF? where B Rachel"
28 Jacob did PENIS GOES WHERE wif Leah 4 a week, tehn he got Rachel29 Rachel got Bilhah, servent girl from daddy30 Jacob does PENIS GOES WHERE to Rachel n he even loved this 1, n he worked nother 7 years.
31 When Ceiling cat seed Leah NOT CAN HAS love, he remove invisible diaphram n put in Rachel.32 Leah getted preggerz n ploop out boy Ruben n sed "Ceiling cat see me sad, now Jacob luv me 2" (boy later go on to maek samwichz, rly, srsly)
33 She ploop out another calld Simeon n sez "Ceiling cat be in my ceiling, helpin me get luv"
34 She ploop out nother 1 called Levi n sed "now heeze gonna rly luv me, I ploop out 3"
35 She ploop out yet another called Judah n sed "TNX Ceiling cat no moar plz hurtz, KTHNX"
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