Genesis 26

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===== Isaac and Abimelech =====
===== Isaac and Abimelech =====
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|1=Now there wus no foods an mices to eated in the land so Isaac meats Abimelech top cat of the Philistines in Gerar.
|1=Now there wus no foods an mices to eated in the land so Isaac meats Abimelech top cat of the Philistines in Gerar.
|2=Ceiling Cat sez to Isaac ''U can not goes to Egypt, U live wheres I tells U 2 live
|2=Ceiling Cat sez to Isaac ''U can not goes to Egypt, U live wheres I tells U 2 live
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|7=Sum d00dz livin there axed him bout hiz wife Rebeka, n he sed "She mai sister" cause she so buteamus n l00k leik Natalie Portman covered in hot grits he wuz afraid they eated him and make him teh ded.
|7=Sum d00dz livin there axed him bout hiz wife Rebeka, n he sed "She mai sister" cause she so buteamus n l00k leik Natalie Portman covered in hot grits he wuz afraid they eated him and make him teh ded.
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|8=After a loooong time, Abimelech king of the Philistines saw Isaac strkin Rebeka's hairbol
|8=After a loooong time, Abimelech king of the Philistines saw Isaac strkin Rebeka's hairbol
|9=Abimelech sez "d00d1!!1!!, WTF? ur sister? ewwwww thats nasty", Isaac say "I say my sister cause i do not want to be teh ded".  n Abimelech thought Deja-vous [[genesis_20#2]]
|9=Abimelech sez "d00d1!!1!!, WTF? ur sister? ewwwww thats nasty", Isaac say "I say my sister cause i do not want to be teh ded".  n Abimelech thought Deja-vous [[genesis_20#2]]
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|10=n Abimelech sez "d00d!1! whut if 1 of my guys did PENIS GOES WHERE on hers, thats leik INVISIBLE ERROR"
|10=n Abimelech sez "d00d!1! whut if 1 of my guys did PENIS GOES WHERE on hers, thats leik INVISIBLE ERROR"
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|11=an he continud "Any my n00bs touch her gets teh ded"
|11=an he continud "Any my n00bs touch her gets teh ded"
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|12=Isaac growd lots of fruitzors An vegbatels an cheezburgerz n they was many cause Ceiling Cat leiked him.
|12=Isaac growd lots of fruitzors An vegbatels an cheezburgerz n they was many cause Ceiling Cat leiked him.
|13=He gots rich
|13=He gots rich
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|16=So Abimelech sez 2 Isaac, "GTFO ur gots teh powerz"
|16=So Abimelech sez 2 Isaac, "GTFO ur gots teh powerz"
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|17=Isaac goed to teh Valley of Gerar.
|17=Isaac goed to teh Valley of Gerar.
|18=he was leik I'm in mai holez unpluggin mai waterz taht teh Philistines plugged up n got waterz.
|18=he was leik I'm in mai holez unpluggin mai waterz taht teh Philistines plugged up n got waterz.
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|19=they even gots waterz from holes tehy maded in teh valley
|19=they even gots waterz from holes tehy maded in teh valley
|20=But d00dz from Gerar sed "theys our waterz, U no can has", so he call it Esek
|20=But d00dz from Gerar sed "theys our waterz, U no can has", so he call it Esek
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|23=He goes to Beersheba
|23=He goes to Beersheba
|24=Ceiling Cat sez ''Yo 'member me? I wus wif ur dad Abraham, don't be scairded, I gives U cheezburgerz n cakes n stuff, n U gets moar kitteh"
|24=Ceiling Cat sez ''Yo 'member me? I wus wif ur dad Abraham, don't be scairded, I gives U cheezburgerz n cakes n stuff, n U gets moar kitteh"
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|25=Isaac builded a cat tree and callded Ceiling Cat n maded a hole for waterz near where he putted hiz tent
|25=Isaac builded a cat tree and callded Ceiling Cat n maded a hole for waterz near where he putted hiz tent
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|26=Abimelech comed from Gerar, wif Ahuzzath hiz adviser n Phicol army type d00d.
|26=Abimelech comed from Gerar, wif Ahuzzath hiz adviser n Phicol army type d00d.
|27=Isaac sez "WTF U here 4? U tells me to GTFO?"
|27=Isaac sez "WTF U here 4? U tells me to GTFO?"
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|28=They sez, "d00d, U got Ceiling Cat on ur side, letz be BFF n prove it wif a treaty.
|28=They sez, "d00d, U got Ceiling Cat on ur side, letz be BFF n prove it wif a treaty.
|29=I no eated you and you no eated us K? cause U HAS CHEEZBURGERZ"
|29=I no eated you and you no eated us K? cause U HAS CHEEZBURGERZ"
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|30=Isaac maded Cheezburgerz n cookies n foods and they eated them
|30=Isaac maded Cheezburgerz n cookies n foods and they eated them
|31=tehn dey sweard oath and Isaac sed "GTFO".
|31=tehn dey sweard oath and Isaac sed "GTFO".
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|32=laterz on same day, Isaac's d00dz dig waterz hole and findz '''FREE BEERZ!!1!!!'''  They sez "l00k, wees founded the creative commons"
|32=laterz on same day, Isaac's d00dz dig waterz hole and findz '''FREE BEERZ!!1!!!'''  They sez "l00k, wees founded the creative commons"
|33=so he callz it Shibah, n teh town be Beersheba.
|33=so he callz it Shibah, n teh town be Beersheba.
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|34=An when Esau wuz frty he wuz all "I can has marry" an he marieed Judith doter of Beeri (no drink!) an Basemath deh doter of Elon.
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|35=An Issac an Rebekah sez, "DO NO WANT!"
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[[Category:Genesis|Genesis 26]]
[[Category:Genesis|Genesis 26]]
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Exodus]]|NextChap=[[Genesis 27]]|PrevChap=[[Genesis 25]]}}
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Exodus]]|NextChap=[[Genesis 27]]|PrevChap=[[Genesis 25]]}}

Revision as of 15:33, 10 November 2007

Old Testament
Bible5.gif
Isaac and Abimelech

 1 Now there wus no foods an mices to eated in the land so Isaac meats Abimelech top cat of the Philistines in Gerar.2 Ceiling Cat sez to Isaac U can not goes to Egypt, U live wheres I tells U 2 live3 Stay here an U CAN HAS CHEEZBURGRZ n COOKIEZ n CAKES. Laterz I gives U all these landz4 U n ur kitteh can has all this landz an CHEEZBURGERZ too5 cause ur dad Abraham dids whats I tolded him to6 So Isaac stayed in Gerar.

 7 Sum d00dz livin there axed him bout hiz wife Rebeka, n he sed "She mai sister" cause she so buteamus n l00k leik Natalie Portman covered in hot grits he wuz afraid they eated him and make him teh ded.

 8 After a loooong time, Abimelech king of the Philistines saw Isaac strkin Rebeka's hairbol9 Abimelech sez "d00d1!!1!!, WTF? ur sister? ewwwww thats nasty", Isaac say "I say my sister cause i do not want to be teh ded". n Abimelech thought Deja-vous genesis_20#2

 10 n Abimelech sez "d00d!1! whut if 1 of my guys did PENIS GOES WHERE on hers, thats leik INVISIBLE ERROR"

 11 an he continud "Any my n00bs touch her gets teh ded"

 12 Isaac growd lots of fruitzors An vegbatels an cheezburgerz n they was many cause Ceiling Cat leiked him.13 He gots rich14 He gots real rich n teh Philistines got pissed15 so teh Philistines were leik "I'n in ur waterz pluggin up ur holez.

 16 So Abimelech sez 2 Isaac, "GTFO ur gots teh powerz"

 17 Isaac goed to teh Valley of Gerar.18 he was leik I'm in mai holez unpluggin mai waterz taht teh Philistines plugged up n got waterz.

 19 they even gots waterz from holes tehy maded in teh valley20 But d00dz from Gerar sed "theys our waterz, U no can has", so he call it Esek21 nother hole but Gerar sez "U no can has", he calls that 1 Sitnah22 yet nother hole, but no 1 sez "no can has" so he call it Rehoboth (leik beach but hole) n sed "Ceiling cat sez I CAN HAS waters n landz n we happy"

 23 He goes to Beersheba24 Ceiling Cat sez Yo 'member me? I wus wif ur dad Abraham, don't be scairded, I gives U cheezburgerz n cakes n stuff, n U gets moar kitteh"

 25 Isaac builded a cat tree and callded Ceiling Cat n maded a hole for waterz near where he putted hiz tent

 26 Abimelech comed from Gerar, wif Ahuzzath hiz adviser n Phicol army type d00d.27 Isaac sez "WTF U here 4? U tells me to GTFO?"

 28 They sez, "d00d, U got Ceiling Cat on ur side, letz be BFF n prove it wif a treaty.29 I no eated you and you no eated us K? cause U HAS CHEEZBURGERZ"

 30 Isaac maded Cheezburgerz n cookies n foods and they eated them31 tehn dey sweard oath and Isaac sed "GTFO".

 32 laterz on same day, Isaac's d00dz dig waterz hole and findz FREE BEERZ!!1!!! They sez "l00k, wees founded the creative commons"33 so he callz it Shibah, n teh town be Beersheba.

 34 An when Esau wuz frty he wuz all "I can has marry" an he marieed Judith doter of Beeri (no drink!) an Basemath deh doter of Elon.35 An Issac an Rebekah sez, "DO NO WANT!"

Genesis 26
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