Genesis 22

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Old Testament

1 Ceiling cat givd Abraham test so Abraham cud hav cheezburgrz. Ceiling cat sed "Oh hai Abraham.2 Taek ur kitteh Isaac to whur I say an burn him inna mountainz.3 So Abraham got up erly an tuk Isaac an 2 servnts, an cut teh wud 4 burning an went to mountainz.4 On thrd day, he saw place to burn him.5 He sed "Servnts, stay here wit donkey. We coem bak later k bai."6 An he gaev wud to Isaac to curry an he tuk torch an knife.

7 An Isaac sed "K dad wher sheep?" 8 An Abraham sed "Ceiling cat will giv sheep." So they goed to place.9 An Abraham bult altar an putted Isaac on it.10 He gon stab Isaac Oh noez!

11 Ceiling Cat hazd a angel and teh angel wazd liekd "OH HAI ABRAHAM" and Abraham wazd liek "OH HAI"12 And teh angel wazd liek "OH HAI, ABOUT TAHT KILLIN UR SON...J/K LOL!1 Ur win cheezburgrz 4evr"13 And teh angel sed "We downgrazden youz 2 a RAM" An Abraham tukd ram an burnd it.14 An Abraham sed dis place now cald "Ceiling Cat Gievs Cheezburgrz."

15 An Ceiling cat sed "OH HAI ABRAHAM"16 An he sed "Abraham ur gud kitteh. U wud givd me ur kitteh.17 So ur kitteh wil haev lots of kittehs, more than stars an sand, an kittehs will have bukket18 an all kittehs can has cheezburgrz. Cuz u iz gud kitteh."19 An Abraham went wit Isaac an servnts to Beer-sheba 4 long vaycayshun.

20 An kittehs tuld Abraham "Ur bro Nahor an hiz wief Milcah haded kittehs!"21 An Nahors kittehs wer Huz, Buz, an Kemuel. An Kemuel had kitteh cald Aram.22 An Nahors moer kittehs wer Chesed, Hazo, Pildash, Jidlaph, and Bethuel.23 An Bethuel had kitteh Rebekah. So Abraham haded many nephew kittehs!24 An Nahors PENIS GOES WHERE?! kitteh Reumah had kittehs too! Had Tebah, Gaham, Thahash, an Maachah! WTFLOLBBQ lots of kittehs!

Genesis 22
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