Genesis 20

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Old Testament
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Abraham n Abimelech

1 An Abraham went 2 teh south country, an chilld tween Kadesh and Shur, an askd "I can has bed?", and crashd in Gerar2 An Abraham saiz "Dewd, my wief Sarah be iz my sistr," an Abimelech iz liek "Lol, thaz messd up" an takd Sarah

3 But Ceiling Cat comez to Abimelech while hez sleepn an saiz, "O hai, thaz not rite you liek takd a wief away, you be ded now"

4 But Abimelech iz liek, "My bad, Ceiling Cat, plz doez not eated me"5 An Abimelech is all, "Abraham saiz he an his sistr be all liek "PENIS GOES WHERE?" an thaz not rite"

6 An Ceiling Cat is liek,"Ya thaz nasty ur rite7 But givez back Abraham his sistr even tho thaz nasty 'cuz he bez knowin' teh futur n' stufs an if you doeznt I eated you, kthxbai"

8 Abimelech wakd up erly, an calld teh slavez, an hes liek, "Ceiling Cat saiz Abraham iz kewl, lez give back his wief," an teh slavez wuz skerd.9 Den Abimelech calld Abraham, an he sai, "WTF! Y u brin invisible error an not cheezburgrz?"10 An he sai, "Wut made u do dat?"

11 An Abraham sai, "cuz I thot, surely teh feer of Ceiling Cat iz not in dis place; an tehy will eated me 4 mah wiefz saek12 An mah wief iz mah sistr but only mah half sistr, we doeznt gots teh same mommy, so NBD, k?"13 And then latrz, after Ceiling Cat telled us to leef Ejip, so Abraham did sez "look, no tell other pplz we is marry. i no like teh commit no moar. instead you say you is mai sister, k?" And Sarah was all "k, wut can i do?"

14 And Abraham pwned Abimelech and tooked his sheeps, and moocows, and slaves for teh working, and his slaves for teh PENIS GOES WHERE?!, and was full of teh epic and win.15 an Abimelech was all, you can has mai base."

16 He sez "Yo, I have giv ur burdder 1x103 silver cookehs (about 25lbs). we cool now? plz do not eated me, sowry."

17 And Abraham talked to Ceiling Cat and Ceiling Cat made Abimelech all betterz and tooked the diapramz from hiz wife n slave chix so PENIS GOES WERE?! wurked gud.18 cause when all this started, he put in INVISIBLE DIAPHRAM.

Genesis 20
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