Genesis 2

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Old Testament

1 An' teh heavens an' teh earth were finishd, an' all teh host ov them and Ceiling Cat was liek all tired and stuff.

2.An' on teh seventh dai Ceiling Cat finishd his werk which he had made; an' he restd on teh seventh dai fum all his werk which he had made cuz he was pooped.

3.An' Ceiling Cat blesd teh seventh dai, an' hallowd it; because dat in it he restd fum all his werk which Ceiling Cat had creatd an' made. made. made.

4.Thees r teh generashuns ov teh heavens an' ov teh earth when they were creatd, in da dai dat Ceiling Cat made earth an' heaven.

5 An' no plant ov teh field wuz yet in da earf, an' no 'erb ov teh field had yet sprung ahp; 4 Ceiling Cat had not causd it 2 rain upon teh earth: an' thar wuz not man 2 till teh ground; becuz the clouds were all happie and didn't feel like cryin'.

6 But thar went up mist fum teh earf, an' waterd teh whole face ov teh ground.

7 An' Ceiling Cat formd man ov teh dust ov teh ground, an' breathd into his nawstrils teh breaf ov lahyf; an' man became livin dewd.

8 An' Ceiling Cat plantd garden eastwad, in eden; an' thar he put teh man whom he had formd.

9 An' out ov teh grawnd made Ceiling Cat 2 grow everie tree dat iz pleasant 2 teh site, an' gud 4 fud; teh tree ov life also in da midst ov teh garden, an' teh tree ov teh knowledge ov gud an' evil. Man asked Ceiling Cat fo a cookie tree, an' Ceiling Cat made it made. But he eated it.

10 An' rivr went out ov eden 2 watr teh garden; an' fum thence it wuz partd, an' became 4 headz.

11 Teh name ov teh furst iz pishon: dat iz which compaseth teh whole land ov havilah, where thar iz gold;

12 An' teh gold ov dat land iz gud: thar iz bdellium an' teh onyx stone.

13 An' teh name ov teh second rivr iz gihon: teh same iz dat compaseth teh whole land ov cush.

14 An' teh name ov teh third rivr iz hiddekel: dat iz which goeth in frunt ov Asyria. An' teh fourth rivr iz teh euphratez.

15 An' Ceiling Cat took teh man, an' put him into teh garden ov eden 2 dres it an' 2 keep it.

16 An' Ceiling Cat commandd teh man, sayin, ov every tree ov teh garden ok u eatd':

17 But of teh tree of teh knowledge of gud and evil, you not eatd' cuz wen u ead taht tree u fo' sure diez.

18 And Ceiling Cat said, it is not gud that the man should be alone; i will maek him a good help fo' him.

19 And out of the grawnd Ceiling Cat formed everie beast of teh field, and every berd of teh heavens; and brought them unto teh man 2 c what he would call them: and what teh man called every living creature, that was its naim.

20 And the man gave names 2 all cattle, and 2 teh birds of teh heavens, and to every beest of teh field; but for man wuzn't no good helper fo' him.

21 And Ceiling Cat caused a deep sleep to fall upon teh man, and he slept; and he took 1 of his ribs,

Genesis 2
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N/A Book of Exodus N/A Genesis Three
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