Genesis 2

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[[Image:lolcreation.jpg|thumb|140px|left|Ceiling Cat iz waching yu... dont du sumting rong!]]
[[Image:lolcreation.jpg|thumb|140px|left|Ceiling Cat iz waching yu... dont du sumting rong!]]
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|1=An teh skyz an teh Urth were finishd, an all teh stufz in dem an Ceiling Cat was liek all tired an stuff.
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|1=An teh skyz an teh Urfs wur finishd, an al teh stufz in dem, an Ceiling Cat was liek al tired an stuf.
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|2=An on teh 7th day Ceiling Cat got done makingks all dat stuf; an he restd on teh 7th day cuz he was pooped fum all dat wrking an not liek havng imself ulone. An he not get payd ovrtym either.
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|2=An on teh 7f day Ceiling Cat got dun makingks al dat stuf; an he restd on teh 7f day cuz he wuz pooped fum al dat wrking an not liek havng imself ulone. An he not get payd ovrtym eiver.
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|3=Ceiling Cat blesd teh 7th day, an sed itz teh h0liez0rz; cuz dats when he restd fum all his werk which Ceiling Cat had creatd an made. Yay holy Caturday!
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|3=Ceiling Cat blesd teh 7f day, an sed itz teh h0liez0rz; cuz dats when he restd fum all his werk wich Ceiling Cat creatd an maed. Yay holy Caturday!
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}}
===== Adam An Eve =====
===== Adam An Eve =====
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|4=Iz how teh skyz an Urfs were made, wen Ceiling Cat pwnt.
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|4=Iz how teh skyz an Urfs wur maed, wen Ceiling Cat pwnt.
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|5=Urfs no can has plantz n treez n catnipz yet, cuz Ceiling Cat no can maek rainz, but iz ok for kittehs DUNT LYKEZ wetfurz. An ther wuznt ne man to mek farmz an stuff; cuz teh clouds were all happie an didnt feel like cryin, wich wuz ok to cuz umbrellaz wuznt inventd yet.
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|5=Urfs no can has plantz n treez n catnipz yet, cuz Ceiling Cat no can maek rainz, but iz ok for kittehs DUNT LYKEZ wetfurz. An ther wuznt ne man to mek farmz n stuf; cuz teh clowds wur al happie an dint feel liek cryin, wich wuz ok to cuz umbrellaz wuznt inventd yut.
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[[Image:WETceilingCAT.JPG|thumb|200px|left|Ceiling cat makez teh rain, but it waz bad idea.]]
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[[Image:WETceilingCAT.JPG|thumb|200px|left|Ceiling Cat makez teh rain, but it waz bad idea.]]
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|6=But teh fogz caem in liek in Frisco an waterd teh ground so teh plantz wud be ok wen Ceiling Cat madez dem.  
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|6=But teh fogz caem in liek in Frisco an waterd teh grownd so teh plantz wud be ok wen Ceiling Cat madez dem.  
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|7=An Ceiling Cat madez man out ov teh flore dust, an breathd into his nawstrils teh bref ov lyff, wich was sorta liek doin cpr on a mudpie, but it was kool d00d man (v.0.8β) so it wuz all gud.
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|7=An Ceiling Cat madez man owt ov teh flore dust, an breathd ntew his nawstrils teh bref ov lyff, wich wuz sorta liek doin cpr on a mudpie, but it wuz kool d00d man (v.0.8β) so it wuz al gud.
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|8=An Ceiling Cat plantz garden eastwad, in eden; an ther he put teh man he madez. (i dono how he figurd out it wuz east, cuz ther wuznt any cumpasez yet an no mapz ither.)
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|8=An Ceiling Cat plantz gardun eastwad, in eden; an ther he put teh man he madez. (i dono hows he figurd out it wuz east, cuz ther wuznt no cumpasez yet an no mapz ither.)
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|9=An Ceiling Cat madez evry tree dat iz prity, an gud fur fud; teh tree ov life wuz in teh garden to, an teh tree ov teh knowledge ov gud an evil. man asked Ceiling Cat to makez a cookie tree, an Ceiling Cat made it. but he eated it. (no 1 had thot of cheezburger tree yet.)
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|9=An Ceiling Cat madez evry tre dat iz prity, an gud fur fud; teh tre ov lief wuz in teh gardun to, an teh tre ov teh nawlej ov gud an evul. man askd Ceiling Cat to makez a kooki tree, an Ceiling Cat madze it. but he eated it. (no 1 had thot of cheezburgr tre yet.)
}}
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|10=An a big rivr went out ov eden to watr teh garden; an then it splitzd up into 4 rivrz wth srsly wierd names.  
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|10=An a big rivr went owt ov eden to watr teh gardun; an zen it splitzd up ntew 4 rivrz wth srsly weerd namez.  
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|11=Teh name ov teh 1th iz pishon (did u sneez? bless u! ): dat one runz around teh whole land ov havilah wich haz a lot ov gold cheezburgerz;  
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|11=Teh naem ov teh 1th iz pishon (did u sneez? blez u! ): dat wun runz arownd teh hol land ov havilah wich haz a lot ov gold cheezburgerz;  
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|12=An teh gold cheezbugerz ov dat land iz gud (but u cant eatz it): ther iz bdellium an teh onyx stone. (but u cant eatz dat either. An wut teh heck is bdellium?)  
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|12=An teh gold cheezbugerz ov dat land iz gud (but u cant eatz it): ther iz bdellium an teh onyx stone. (but u cant eatz dat eiver. An wut teh hek is bdellium?)  
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|13=An teh name ov teh 2th rivr iz gihon: dat one runz around teh whole land ov cush wich is vry comfy place.  
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|13=An teh naem ov teh 2th rivr iz gihon: dat wun runz arownd teh hol land ov cush wich is vry comfy plaec.  
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|14=An teh name ov teh 3th rivr iz hiddekel: dat one runz in frunt ov asyria. An teh 4th rivr iz teh euphratez (where teh ppl acused eech oter ov "yu afraed ov tese?".)  
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|14=An teh naem ov teh 3th rivr iz hiddekel: dat wun runz n frunt ov asyria. An teh 4f rivr iz teh euphrateez (ware teh ppl acused eech oter ov "yu afraed ov tese?".)  
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|15=An Ceiling Cat took teh man, an put him into teh garden ov eden to takez care of it cuz Ceiling Cat wuz still pooped and wantedz another day off.  
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|15=An Ceiling Cat took teh man, an put im ntew teh gardun ov eden tew takez cares ofs it cuz Ceiling Cat wuz stil poopd and wantedz anotr day off.  
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|16=An Ceiling Cat sed to teh man, ov evury tree in teh gardin iz ok u eatz:
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|16=An Ceiling Cat sed to teh man, ov evury tre in teh gardin iz ok u eatz:
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|17=But of teh tree of teh knowledge of gud an evil, you not eatz cuz wen u eatz taht tree i fur sure mek u ded. srsly.  
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|17=But of teh tre of teh nawlej of gud an evl, you not eatz cuz wen u eatz taht tre i fur sure mek u ded. Srsly.  
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|18=An Ceiling Cat said, teh man is alone an dat iz bad; he needz frendz so i will maek him a good help fo him. (i iz good at stuff liek that. srsly. An it will keepz him outta trubble.)  
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|18=An Ceiling Cat sed, teh man is alown an dat iz bad; he needz frendz so i wil maek him a gud help fo him. (i iz gud at stuf liek taht. srsly. An it will keepz him outta trubbel.)  
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|19=An out of teh ground Ceiling Cat madez all teh aminals on teh urf an in teh see, an all teh birds up in sky (an sum liek ostridges who cudnt flyz, just fur fun). (Ceiling Cat is raely good at makingz mud pies. srsly.) An brought them unto teh man to c what he would call them: an what teh man called every living aminal, dat was its naim. (if they didnt like it, tuff tamales, they wuz stuck wif it.)
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|19=An owt ov teh grownd Ceiling Cat madez al teh aminals on teh urfs an in teh see, an al teh burdz up in sky (an sum liek ostrijes who cudnt flyz, just fur fun). (Ceiling Cat is raely good at makingz mud pies. srsly.) An brot them untew teh man to c what he wud cal tehm: an wut teh man caled evry living aminal, dat wuz its naim. (if they didnt like it, tuff tamales, they wuz stuck wif it.)
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|20=An teh man gave names to all teh aminals, an to teh burdies of sky (an to teh onez who cudnt flyz) an teh aminals in teh see, (so they wudnt feel left out), an to every aminal in teh field; but for man wuznt no good helper fo him, not even anyonez to talk to in chatroom.  
+
|20=An teh man gave namez to al teh aminals, an to teh burdies of sky (an to teh onez who cudnt flyz) an teh aminals in teh see, (so vey wudnt feel levt out), an to evry aminal in teh feeld; but fer man wuznt no gud helpr fo him, not evun anyonez to tak to in chatroom.  
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|21=An Ceiling Cat caused a deep sleep to fall upon teh man, an he slept; an he took one of his ribs, cuz it has a flavr.
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|21=An Ceiling Cat caused a deep sleep to fal upawn teh man, an he sleeped; an he tuk one of his ribs, cuz it has a flavr.
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|22=An Ceiling Cat can haz teh rib frum man maded into wimman, but did not eated it cuz he brot her to teh man. He sai O hai, I maded u a man but wifout long hare. Have fun, kthxbai.
+
|22=An Ceiling Cat can haz teh rib frum man maded into wimman, but did not eated it cuz he brot her to teh man. He sai O hai, I maded u a man but wifout long hare. Hav fun, kthxbai.
}}
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|24= So man muv out da basement an lives wif da womenz, an be all u can puts your toofbrush nexta mine an I no eats you.
+
|24= So man muv out da baesment an lives wif da womenz, an be all u can puts your toofbrush nexta mine an I no eats you.
::an da manz sez orly
::an da manz sez orly
::da womenz sez ya rly
::da womenz sez ya rly

Revision as of 23:20, 11 September 2008

Old Testament
Bible5.gif
Ceiling Cat iz waching yu... dont du sumting rong!

1 An teh skyz an teh Urfs wur finishd, an al teh stufz in dem, an Ceiling Cat was liek al tired an stuf. 2 An on teh 7f day Ceiling Cat got dun makingks al dat stuf; an he restd on teh 7f day cuz he wuz pooped fum al dat wrking an not liek havng imself ulone. An he not get payd ovrtym eiver.3 Ceiling Cat blesd teh 7f day, an sed itz teh h0liez0rz; cuz dats when he restd fum all his werk wich Ceiling Cat creatd an maed. Yay holy Caturday!

Adam An Eve

4 Iz how teh skyz an Urfs wur maed, wen Ceiling Cat pwnt.

5 Urfs no can has plantz n treez n catnipz yet, cuz Ceiling Cat no can maek rainz, but iz ok for kittehs DUNT LYKEZ wetfurz. An ther wuznt ne man to mek farmz n stuf; cuz teh clowds wur al happie an dint feel liek cryin, wich wuz ok to cuz umbrellaz wuznt inventd yut.

Ceiling Cat makez teh rain, but it waz bad idea.

6 But teh fogz caem in liek in Frisco an waterd teh grownd so teh plantz wud be ok wen Ceiling Cat madez dem.7 An Ceiling Cat madez man owt ov teh flore dust, an breathd ntew his nawstrils teh bref ov lyff, wich wuz sorta liek doin cpr on a mudpie, but it wuz kool d00d man (v.0.8β) so it wuz al gud.

8 An Ceiling Cat plantz gardun eastwad, in eden; an ther he put teh man he madez. (i dono hows he figurd out it wuz east, cuz ther wuznt no cumpasez yet an no mapz ither.)9 An Ceiling Cat madez evry tre dat iz prity, an gud fur fud; teh tre ov lief wuz in teh gardun to, an teh tre ov teh nawlej ov gud an evul. man askd Ceiling Cat to makez a kooki tree, an Ceiling Cat madze it. but he eated it. (no 1 had thot of cheezburgr tre yet.)

10 An a big rivr went owt ov eden to watr teh gardun; an zen it splitzd up ntew 4 rivrz wth srsly weerd namez.11 Teh naem ov teh 1th iz pishon (did u sneez? blez u! ): dat wun runz arownd teh hol land ov havilah wich haz a lot ov gold cheezburgerz;12 An teh gold cheezbugerz ov dat land iz gud (but u cant eatz it): ther iz bdellium an teh onyx stone. (but u cant eatz dat eiver. An wut teh hek is bdellium?)13 An teh naem ov teh 2th rivr iz gihon: dat wun runz arownd teh hol land ov cush wich is vry comfy plaec.14 An teh naem ov teh 3th rivr iz hiddekel: dat wun runz n frunt ov asyria. An teh 4f rivr iz teh euphrateez (ware teh ppl acused eech oter ov "yu afraed ov tese?".)

15 An Ceiling Cat took teh man, an put im ntew teh gardun ov eden tew takez cares ofs it cuz Ceiling Cat wuz stil poopd and wantedz anotr day off.16 An Ceiling Cat sed to teh man, ov evury tre in teh gardin iz ok u eatz:17 But of teh tre of teh nawlej of gud an evl, you not eatz cuz wen u eatz taht tre i fur sure mek u ded. Srsly.

18 An Ceiling Cat sed, teh man is alown an dat iz bad; he needz frendz so i wil maek him a gud help fo him. (i iz gud at stuf liek taht. srsly. An it will keepz him outta trubbel.)

19 An owt ov teh grownd Ceiling Cat madez al teh aminals on teh urfs an in teh see, an al teh burdz up in sky (an sum liek ostrijes who cudnt flyz, just fur fun). (Ceiling Cat is raely good at makingz mud pies. srsly.) An brot them untew teh man to c what he wud cal tehm: an wut teh man caled evry living aminal, dat wuz its naim. (if they didnt like it, tuff tamales, they wuz stuck wif it.)

20 An teh man gave namez to al teh aminals, an to teh burdies of sky (an to teh onez who cudnt flyz) an teh aminals in teh see, (so vey wudnt feel levt out), an to evry aminal in teh feeld; but fer man wuznt no gud helpr fo him, not evun anyonez to tak to in chatroom.21 An Ceiling Cat caused a deep sleep to fal upawn teh man, an he sleeped; an he tuk one of his ribs, cuz it has a flavr. 22 An Ceiling Cat can haz teh rib frum man maded into wimman, but did not eated it cuz he brot her to teh man. He sai O hai, I maded u a man but wifout long hare. Hav fun, kthxbai. 23 Teh man saiz,

"Dese bonez is my bonez
an dis meatz are my meatz;
I calz her "whoa man", k
cuz she in ur chest taken ur ribs. Srsly"

24 So man muv out da baesment an lives wif da womenz, an be all u can puts your toofbrush nexta mine an I no eats you.

an da manz sez orly
da womenz sez ya rly
an da manz sez no wai
an da womenz sez wai

25 and teh man and teh woman weared invisible close!

Audio Version (courtesy LOLCheshirecat)

Genesis 2
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