Genesis 19

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Old Testament
Ceiling Cat pwns Sodom n Gomorrah
Sodom n Gomorrah PWNED

1 andz der wuz two hovrcatz dat coemed to Sodom's place, anz lot sat der looking like "wtf iz goin on heer?" Lot saw dem and waz all, "Doodz, you are teh hovrcats and probly haz cheezburgerz," and bowed down to eatz teh cheezburger.2 Doodz, he saiz, plz crash on my couch, you can wash ur kittehs feet and ur canz has go out when I r woke. "Lolz," teh doodz said, "we iz gonna sleep together in teh middle of teh citeh."

3 Lot iz all "doodz, srsly, crash on my couch." Den He called up teh taco bell ann tey gave it to hiz kitteh.4 All teh drunc doodz went to Lotz place fer teh LOLz5 Teh drunc guyz says to Lot, dood, letz see teh guyz in ur place, we herd dey liek VISIBLE BUTTSEX!

6 Lot goez outside n close teh cat flap.7 He sayz, "oh snap, don't do dat! ewwwww growss!"8 Lol U can hit my hot daughterz whu r virginz. Let me get em n we kan PENIS GOES WHERE? them. But don't do theze doodz, they iz in mah house.9 Aw no fanks. We iz gonna hit ur door an hav lemmon party. ur gonna get raped fisrt.

10 Teh doodz pulled Lot into teh howse.11 Teh doodz MADE TEH MAGIK ANTI LITE! (is ok tho cuz kitteh can see in teh dark)

12 Tehn the two doodz waz all liek "GTFO man. and bring ur kittehs,13 u arr cant hang out with uz be cuz we is goin' to PWN this place. Srsly, liek, PWn it to da florr."

14 Lot sez to hiz doters fiances (teh ons he wuz gonna let the hole town do PENIS GOES WHERE wif). "U better go cause Ceiling cat gonna pwn this place, srsly." but they thaught it wuz jokez.

15 Teh Doodz sez "GTFO with ur wimenz or we pwn U to."

16 Then Lot was al liek "OH NOES!" and teh doodz made him left with his wife an daughters and his cheezburger.17 One ov teh doodz sez "GTFO nd don't coem back or luk bak. Go 2 the ceiling or we gonna pwn U."

18 N Lot was lik "DOOODz!!1!!1,19 I not make to ceiling, I gots teh slow, U B to fast.20 howse abouts the lettle town calld Zoar ovar thar? Pleez? cauze lettle town is lettle."

21 Ceiling kat sez "K I not pwn lettle town22 But I gives U teh fast cuz I be waitin fer ur call"

23 Lot still had teh slow n it took all dark-tie, to get to lettle town.24 From teh hole in teh ceiling came bunches of teh sulfer and it wuz teh flame.25 N dats how Ceiling Cat pwnd the land n teh fruitzors An vegbatels. It happen.26 But Lotz wyfe not listen. She luked bak at home-place and now has a flavor, flavor iz salty. Lotz wyf turnd to salt. LOL

27 Lot wake up next day (cause he not kitteh and can't see in dark) and went back to goatse land.28 He luk bak and see lots of smokes n stuff

29 Ceiling cat memberd Abraham and didn't pwn A Lot.

Lot and His Daughters

30 Lot wentz owt uv Zoar to da mountnz wif hiz doters. He wuz scared uv Zoar so he live in cave wif doters.31 den de oldur siztur luked at hur yunger siblin nd sayz "Dadz old, and wez nevur seen anuther dood.32 letz get himz drunk and have sum PENIS GOES WHERE, den we can haz kidz fer him to keepz blood-line goez. Lol."

33 And dey got Lot drunkz so first doter went in and had PENIS GOES WHERE wif her dad wifout finking about how growss dat is. Andz Lotz not notice rly.

34 Den doter tellz siztur "Hey, I got preggerz last nite. Ur turn, letz get himz drunkz again and u can go do it too. Srsly."35 So dey got himz drunkz, and other doter went and sleepz with der Daddy, andz Lot didnt notice again.

36 So dey were boff preggerz by der daddy.37 doter one had a sun she name Moab.38 and yunger also haz sun she name Ben-am'mi.

Genesis 19
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