Genesis 16

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Old Testament
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Gud things happens soon, k?

1 Sarai no can has kittehs. She can has Jippshun bukkit holdr Hagar.2 Sarai sez to Abe, "Teh Invizible Man sez I no can haz kittehs. Maybe Hagar can haz kittehs. Make kittehs with Hagar."

3 Abrham said kthanxbye.4 10 yrz laterz, no srsly, he made kittehz wit Hagar. Hagar got babeez in her and got sasseh.5 Sarai gotted madz at Abrham. She sed, "yr fawlt I is not happy. You and my bukkit holdr made kittehs and kittehs made her sasseh. The Invisible Man sez hooz rite.

6 Abe sed, "Shez YR bukkit holdr. No srsly." So Sarai took Hagarz cheezeburgerz from her and Hagar ran.

7 The invizible manz Ceiling Cat saw Hagar in the sandbox. Fer real.8 He sed, "Where from, where to" "I is hiding frm Sarai."

9 Ceiling Cat sed, "yr her bukkit holder, go hold her bukkit."10 "I'll make you get lots and lots of kittehs."

11 Ceiling Cat spokes-kitteh sais to her:

"U now Pregnantz
U will has boi kitteh
Ishmael is gud name 4 him,
Ceiling Cat heard your meow'n"

12 Kitteh will B crazy kitteh donkeh;

his paws touchy feely
but seckseh bod everyone touch
he is always angry
to his kitteh brothers

13 She sais to Ceiling Cat "Ishmael = hiz name", He sais "U seez me", she sais "U sees me I sees U"14 Tis why teh water hole iz named Beer Lahi Roi, still der, always will be.

15 So Hagar (not Sammy) made Abram a son because of secks, Abram naimd kitteh Ishmael16 Abram was really old when Hagar haz kittens.

Genesis 16
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