From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 Lotz of kings liek Amrafel, Arioch, Kedoror, and Tidal (who iz wet)2 Other bunch of kings leik Bera, and Birsha, and Shinab, And Admah, and Shemeber, and Bela's king, no leik other kings and MORTAL KOMBAT!!@!3 All bunch of kings met in salty see's4 For 12th years tey suffer to Kedolomer, but 13th year they Mortal Kombat!!!@#
5 14th year Kedolomer and teh kingz, beated up teh Refaites in bunch of sandboxz.6 An teh Horites in bumpy country Seir near real dry sandbox El Paran.7 tehy turn back an went to En Mishpat, and they has whole base now of Amalekites and Amorites in Hazazon Tamar.
8 Tehn Sodom king, and Gomora king and Admah king and Zeloiim king and Bela king, left 4 battlefield 2142, in Crevice Siddim.9 Who no like Kedorlaomer and Tidal (he iz still wet) and Amraphel and Arloch, 4 kings gainst 5, cheating :(10 In crevice Siddim wit lotz sticky pits, When Sodom king and Gomorrah king went bai they got suck in sticky and messed up ther furz.11 4 kings sais I can has your catnipz and your cheezburgers, kthxbai12 Tehy grabd Lot and his catnipz and cheezburgers, because he in Sodom homez.
13 Sneaky Cat escaped and told Abram (who lives in big treez with lots of cheezburgers)14 Abram sez "LEAVE LOT ALONEz!!!!"15 In dark Abram split kitteh armeh and performed blitzkreig bop. Chased to far away urth of Hobah16 Abram got back his cheezburgers and his catnip and Lot with his catnip and cheezburgers (lots and lots) and Sexxy lady kittehs and baby kittehs17 when abram got back he shared cheezburgers with Sodom king
18 Melchizedek brunggd out snax and mulk, he is BFF with Ceiling Cat19 An He told Abram you can has blessing, saying "blessed can be Abram by Ceiling Cat, Creator of cheezburgers and cookies and stuff"
20 And blessed be Ceiling Cat soo high up,
- Who bringz Goomba's and Foot Soldiers."
- Then Abram gave him 10th everthing.
21 Teh king of Sodom sayz 2 Abram, "i can has teh kittehs, you keep teh catnip and cheezburgers and stuff"
22 Abram said "No Liek, raised paw to Ceiling Cat, soo high up, creater of cheezburgers and catnip and urth and stuffz, i has swared"23 No Liek your stuff, not yarn, not string, not thong, or shoes, no wai U can sai "I made Abram Rich"24 I no take anyting but teh cheezburgers my kittehs alredy eated.
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