Genesis 13

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Old Testament
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Ambram still in Ejipp, lol

1 Abram goed up from Ejipp to the Neggev and him takez his woman and cheezburgerz and bukketz and inviseble biek and L0t.2 Abram had gots menny moocowz and chikenz(notz freid) and piggs and such but pigz wuz stil k cuz abram An hiz peepz wuznt rly joos yet so kosher wuznt invntd yet. he gots too lots of teh shynee coinz and stuffz

3 he lef teh negev and rode teh inviseble biek to and fro and goes to Bethel, and is liek "oh hai", cuz his tentz and bukkets were dere b44 An den Abram wuz liek "CIELING CAT!!!!!!!!!!11111oneeleven"

5 And L0t, wit Abram haz his moocows and piggs and homez and stuffz6 But the urf no can hold demz at same tyme, for their moocows were too larj.7 An Abram and L0t wuz liek "MORTAL KOMBAT!!" An Canaanites and Perizzites wuz ther 2

8 Abram and Lot was lyk "we no wants fite, we iz BFF's and can has cheezburgers,9 An teh hole urf is larj liek really big hairball. we can splitz up

10 L0t lukd at Jordan, seed it was wet, liek teh Cieling Cat's garden of vejtiblez. This was b4 Ceiling Cat PWNT Sodom and Gomora11 Lot lieked Cieling Cat's backyard, he want, and haz all of jordan. Abram no liek and goed bai.12 Abram lives on teh grass and sandbox of Canaan, while L0t live in homez wif catboxz near Sodom.13 An kittehs of Sodom are evul like puppehs and talkin bad bout Ceiling Cat An iz keepz on raedin wikkidpedia An ritin mor stuff in it bout how 2 b mor eviler den puppehs.

14 An Ceiling Cat sayz to Abram after Lot went bai, "Look up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, select, start-15 cuz dats teh code for unlimited cheezburgers for you and yous kittehs16 An i will make your kittehs of litter and urf, so litter kittehs could be counted, huh?17 so you goes and walks thru my sandboxz, cuz i givez it all to u"

18 So Abram moved his homez and goed to live by teh really big treez and plants and grass of Mamre at Hebron, where he makez a great cheezburger shrine for teh Cieling Cat.

Genesis 13
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