Genesis 1

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Old Testament
Ceiling Cat creats teh universes and stuffs
Cieling Cat gets boreded and decidez iz good idea to create urf
  1. Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat waz invisible, & he maded the skiez & da earths, but he no eated it.
  2. The earths wus witout shapez & wus dark & scary & stufs, & he rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
  3. & Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? & lite wuz.
  4. & Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stufs, & seperatered the lite form dark & stufs but taht wuz ok cuz cats can seez in teh dark & not tripz ovr nethin. an cieling cat sayz u mus hav da moneyz 2 git da milkz.
  5. & Ceiling Cat sayed light Day & dark no Day. Teh evning & morning was teh first day.
  6. & Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh ceilingz of waterz, with waterz up & waterz down. & he maded hole in teh Ceiling.
  7. & Ceiling Cat doed the skiez with waterz down & waterz up, & stuff.
  8. & Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so evning & morning was teh twoth day.
  9. & Ceiling Cat gotted all no waterz into ur base, so no waterz wus not wetted & Ceiling Cat hadz teh dry placez cuz cats dusnt lieks to get wet,
  10. & Ceiling Cat called no waterz urths and waters oshunz, so tehre.
  11. & Ceiling Cat sayed, wants grass & stuff! so tehr wuz seedz & stufs, & fruitzors & vegbatels.
  12. & Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish teh good stuff, so, letz tehre be weed. (and catnipz 2, so wen i makes kittehs they can getz hai.)
  13. & so teh evning & the morning of the threeth day.
  14. & Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the firmmint for dividing day from no day.
  15. So tehre, lights everwaer, like chrissmass, wai.
  16. & Ceiling Cat doeth two greate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.
  17. & Ceiling Cat screweth tehm on firmmint, with big nails & stuff.
  18. & Ceiling Cat sawed it wus the goodz, so wai.
  19. & so teh evning & the morning of the furth day.
  20. & Ceiling Cat sayed, letz teh waterz brings forht the loots & stuff, & phishes, & burdies, that flyeths over the no waterz & swimmeths in the waterz.
  21. & Ceiling Cat created big fishies & see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they not mooed, & other stuffs that gives the mooves, & Ceiling Cat wuz plezed.
  22. & Ceiling Cat sented them hais, & stuff, so letz u be happy & stuff. And0 sed all u aminals & burdiez & fishz go has baby aminals & brrdz & fishz & dont worry i wont watch u has sexxes, cept 4 SUPRIZE BUTTSECKZ!!!!!!!
  23. & so teh evning n the morning of the fifth day
  24. & Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has mor living stuff, mooes, & creepz, & otehr animuls, so tehre.
  25. & Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, & creepies, & otehr animuls, & did not eated tehm.
  26. & Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh cute, & let min has dominion & stufs becuz tehy has can openers.
  27. So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps ish like him, can has can openers he did tehm, min & womin wuz created, but he did not eated tehm.
  28. & Ceiling Cat sented them hais, so teh ballz & teh multiplyers, & haz teh dominion on teh waterz, no waterz & teh firmmint, & evry thingz & stuff.
  29. & Ceiling Cat sayed, Yo, Beholdt, the earths, I has it, & I has not eated it.
  30. For evry createded stufs tehre are the foodz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, & teh mooes, so tehre. an cieling cat sayz u mus hav da moneyz 2 git da milkz. 50$ plez
  31. & Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthx bai.
Genesis 1
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