Genesis 1

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Old Testament
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Ceiling Cat creats teh universes and stuffs
Cieling Cat gets boreded and decidez iz good idea to create urf
  1. Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat waz invisible, & he maded the skiez & da earths, but he no eated it.
  2. The earths wus witout shapez & wus dark & scary & stufs, & he rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
  3. & Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? & lite wuz.
  4. & Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stufs, & seperatered the lite form dark & stufs but taht wuz ok cuz cats can seez in teh dark & not tripz ovr nethin. an cieling cat sayz u mus hav da moneyz 2 git da milkz.
  5. & Ceiling Cat sayed light Day & dark no Day. Teh evning & morning was teh first day.
  6. & Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh ceilingz of waterz, with waterz up & waterz down. & he maded hole in teh Ceiling.
  7. & Ceiling Cat doed the skiez with waterz down & waterz up, & stuff.
  8. & Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so evning & morning was teh twoth day.
  9. & Ceiling Cat gotted all no waterz into ur base, so no waterz wus not wetted & Ceiling Cat hadz teh dry placez cuz cats dusnt lieks to get wet,
  10. & Ceiling Cat called no waterz urths and waters oshunz, so tehre.
  11. & Ceiling Cat sayed, wants grass & stuff! so tehr wuz seedz & stufs, & fruitzors & vegbatels.
  12. & Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish teh good stuff, so, letz tehre be weed. (and catnipz 2, so wen i makes kittehs they can getz hai.)
  13. & so teh evning & the morning of the threeth day.
  14. & Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the firmmint for dividing day from no day.
  15. So tehre, lights everwaer, like chrissmass, wai.
  16. & Ceiling Cat doeth two greate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.
  17. & Ceiling Cat screweth tehm on firmmint, with big nails & stuff.
  18. & Ceiling Cat sawed it wus the goodz, so wai.
  19. & so teh evning & the morning of the furth day.
  20. & Ceiling Cat sayed, letz teh waterz brings forht the loots & stuff, & phishes, & burdies, that flyeths over the no waterz & swimmeths in the waterz.
  21. & Ceiling Cat created big fishies & see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they not mooed, & other stuffs that gives the mooves, & Ceiling Cat wuz plezed.
  22. & Ceiling Cat sented them hais, & stuff, so letz u be happy & stuff. And0 sed all u aminals & burdiez & fishz go has baby aminals & brrdz & fishz & dont worry i wont watch u has sexxes, cept 4 SUPRIZE BUTTSECKZ!!!!!!!
  23. & so teh evning n the morning of the fifth day
  24. & Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has mor living stuff, mooes, & creepz, & otehr animuls, so tehre.
  25. & Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, & creepies, & otehr animuls, & did not eated tehm.
  26. & Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh cute, & let min has dominion & stufs becuz tehy has can openers.
  27. So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps ish like him, can has can openers he did tehm, min & womin wuz created, but he did not eated tehm.
  28. & Ceiling Cat sented them hais, so teh ballz & teh multiplyers, & haz teh dominion on teh waterz, no waterz & teh firmmint, & evry thingz & stuff.
  29. & Ceiling Cat sayed, Yo, Beholdt, the earths, I has it, & I has not eated it.
  30. For evry createded stufs tehre are the foodz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, & teh mooes, so tehre. an cieling cat sayz u mus hav da moneyz 2 git da milkz. 50$ plez
  31. & Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthx bai.
Genesis 1
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