Galatians 5

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New Testament

Freedm in Jebus

1 Jebus setted us free so we cud be free, duh. Hang in ther an doan B slaves agayn.

2 If u getz circumsizeded, Jebus iz useliss to u.3 Ennibodi who getziz circumsizeded has to follo all teh othr relijis lawz too.4 Dat maekz Jebus sad, bcz u iz rejectin hiz giftz. He died so evriwun cud be saevd from Hell wifout teh law u know.5 We know we wil be saevd from Hell bcz we beleevz in Jebus.6 Whethr u haz ur forskin or not, Jebus duz not caer about dat. Beleevin an bein niec to peepl iz what countz.

7 U wuz doin so good, who maed u mess up so bad?8 Not me datz for shur.9 "A littl dabll do u."10 I know dat jakass wil get whatz comin to him evenchli.11 If i had realli ben tellin peepl to get circumsized, wudnt teh jackassiz leev me alone?12 i wish dey wud jus cut teh whoal thing off LOL.

13 Jebus maed us free, but not to do whatevr we want. We shud be free to help eech othr.14 U can boil teh law down to wun thing: "Liek eech othr k."15 If u keep bitin an scratchin each othr, sumbudiz goin to get hurted.

Livin bai da Spirit

16 So I sez, be livin by teh Spirit, and u wil no be gratifyin teh desirens of ur eevil selfz.17 Becuz of ur naychur yu wantz teh opposit of what teh Spirit wantz, and teh Spirit iz wantin teh opposit of Invisible Errors. Dey dun liek teh otherz wai of doin stuf so dey turn yu confoozled and yu don do wut u wanna do.18 But if teh Spirit leedz u, u dun needa worriez abowt teh lawz.

19 Teh thingz ur sinful naychur wantz are obvius: induhlgence in sexiness and impur things;20 makin iduls dat arnt of Ceiling Cat and ridin on broomz; havin mean thotts toward other kittehs, nawt beeyin unifaiyd, beeyin jelus of other pplz cheezburgers, getin all mad reely quik, only thnkin of urself, speekin tings dat r dissagreeabel, teemin up to taek other pplz cheezburgers21 and beeyin mad becuz dey hav dem and yu dont; gettin all drunk, havin sexiness with lots of pplz that arnt ur spows, and all dat stuf. Iz warnin yu, and I alredy told u dis, dat ppl doin deez thingz arnt goin to teh Ceiling Cat's howse, k?

22 But teh Spiritz froot iz luv, joyness, peec, beeyin kind, beeyin good, keepin teh fayth,23 treetin ppl gently, and keepin contrl of urself. Dere iz no lawz agenst dose things.24 Teh ppl who belong to Jeebus hav killd dere Invisible Errors and stuf.25 We liv bai teh Spirit, so letz act liek it.26 Letz not get stuk up an pester each othr an start catfiets. Srsly.

Galatians 5
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