Exodus 9

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Old Testament
Da 5th Plaig: Eqypshuns Animulz Get Dead

1 Den da Ceiling Cat sed to Moses "Go sey to Pharaoh 'Thus seys Ceiling Cat, tha God ov da Hebrewz, "Let meh d00dz go yah?"2 Srsly,3 Iffin ya doan't, Ceiling Cat will off al ur animulz! He will! All horsies, dawnkees, humpty kamels, baa-sheeps, moo-cows an goatz.4 But Ceiling Cat wont off hiz peeps animulz cos tht b mean!

5 So Ceiling Cat set a time, "2moro at 5ish!"6 So da next day Ceiling Cat did it an all da animals ov da gypshuns gots run ova by Ceiling Cat but not hiz peeps animulz.7 Pharaoah was like "WOAH". He sent owt boorucrats to chek an tehy saw Israel animables wer okey-dokey, but he stil didnt let Ceiling Cat's peeps go.

Da Sixth Plaig: Spotty Eqypshuns

8 An Ceiling Cat got Moses an Aaron to chuck soot at Pharoah.9 It spreaded is greasy an will makes every1 Egyptians spotty

10 An so dey thro it an eve1 gets lyke all boils ova dem.11 An magicians trys 2 magic da pimples aweh but dnt work12 But Pharorah was like 'w/e' n still neva let da ppl go

Da Sevenths Plaig: Hael

13 Ceiling Cat seys 2 Moses "Tell Pharorah tht he beta let dem ppl go"14 or dis time im gonna send dis plaig on every1 even da servents n even ppl ova in china n canada n ever wher n da hole word so tht u no i am a big deel15 I coulda shoulda woulda bust ya b416 but I wantz u ppl 2 no my name17 U are gonna pay 4 dis Pharoah!!18 Dis time 2moro its gonna be such bad hael19 U hide ur animulz or they b struck dwn by da big rocks

20 Pharoah puts all da animables in hiz howse21 But whoeva didnt listen 2 Ceiling Cat left der slaves n animulz in da fields

22 Ceiling cat told Moses to put his hans up23 An den Moses put his hans up24 An hael came down25 Da hael smushd a few peepohl n animulz26 But Ceiling Cat made Israel safe

27 Da Pharorah got Moses n said 'ok i have doned a big invisable error, Ceiling Cat is rite.28 Plead wit da Ceiling Cat, im gonna let every1 go now

29 Moses seys soon as i leave dis city there aint be no more thunder n hael kai?30 U need b scardy o Ceiling Cat!! mkai?

31 Now da barley b dead, no gonna makes beer32 Wheat OK

33 Moses left da city an da hael stopped34 When Pharorah sawed it stop he made anotha invisble error35 So he sed 'wait a min, ur d00dz no goin nowhere'

Exodus 9
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