Exodus 5

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Old Testament
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PHARO TELZ MOSEZ WHER TO GOE

1 Moses and Aaron sayz to Pharo "Ceiling Cat sez let mah d00dz go, kthxbai. We can has party."

2 Pharo sez, "Who iz Ceiling Cat? I'm in ur Egypt, keepin' ur d00dz."

3 Moses sez, "Ceiling Cat met wif us. Now all the Israelite d00dz gonna go to desert for 3 days and make stufs ded for Ceiling Cat. If we don't, Ceiling Cat stabs us wif sword."

4 And then Pharo sez, "WTF? Why u stops dem? Get back 2 work!!"5 See? U has stopped all teh Israelite d00dz from work."

6 Later onna same day, Pharo sez to slaev driverz,7 "The Israelites can no has straws from u.8 But they still gots to maek all teh briks!!!1! Teh Israelite d00dz iz lazy.9 Maek dem work harder, so tehy no listen 2 lies."

10 Teh slaev driverz sez, "Pharo sez u no can has straws.11 Go An find ur own, but u still gots to maek all teh briks."12 So teh Israelite d00dz went all over to find straws.13 And teh slaev drivers wuz meen and sez, "U maek all teh briks even wif no straws."14 Teh Israelite fored00dz wuz whacked wif a stik, cuz they couldn't maek alla briks.

15 Then the Israelite forecat sez to Pharo , "WTF y u be meen to us?

16 I see what you did there."

17 Pharo sez "Is cuz u r lazy.18 Now get 2 work!!!11!1"

19 Teh Israelite fored00dz knew they wuz in troble then.20 And when they left Pharo and sees Moses and Aaron, they sez21 "U r full of fail! Now we is stinky b4 Pharaoh, and he's gon' kill all our d00dz."

22 So Moses asks Ceiling Cat "WTF y u do dat?"23 Now I am full of fail, and u has no halped me."

Exodus 5
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