Exodus 2

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{{Old Testament}}
{{Old Testament}}
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2:1. AFTR DIS THAR WENT MAN OV TEH HOUSE OV LEVI; AN' TOOK WIFE OV HIS OWN KINDRD.  
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# Sum guye wented to Levi's place an marryed hiz doter.
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# An the doter hd a bayby who wuz a boi so she hided himm.
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2:2. AN' SHE CONCEIVD, AN' BORE SON: AN' SEEIN HIM GOODLY CHILD, HID HIM 3 MONTHS.  
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# So she decided to do wot Pharo saied an put hm in teh rievr but seh made a bote fur him sos he woudt drounz.
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# An sum othar laydie wotched him flote awai.
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2:3. AN' WHEN SHE COULD HIDE HIM NO LONGR, SHE TOOK BASKET MADE OV BULRUSHEZ, AN' DAUBD IT WIF SLIME AN' PITCH: AN' PUT TEH LITTLE BABE THEREIN, AN' LAID HIM IN DA SEDGEZ BY TEH RIVR’S BRINK,
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# An teh Princess was nekkid in de riiver and sawed teh widdle babie and gotted him out.
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# An teh beyby cryd, an Princess wuz liek whoah. A Hebruw.
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2:4. HIS SISTR STANDIN AFAR OFF, AN' TAKIN NOTICE WAT WUD BE DUN.
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# An a survant sayd shoud I gett a Hebruwe to luk affer it?
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# An Princes she wuz liyk, yeah.
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2:5. AN' BEHOLD TEH DAUGHTR OV PHARAO CAME DOWN 2 WASH HERSELF IN DA RIVR: AN' HR MAIDZ WALKD BY TEH RIVR’S BRINK. AN' WHEN SHE SAW TEH BASKET IN DA SEDGEZ SHE SENT WAN OV HR MAIDZ 4 IT: AN' WHEN IT WUZ BROUGHT,
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# Princess wuz Phoaro's daoter, btw, srsly. An she sed to teh Heberw ladie I wil gift yu monies for loking aftr teh baby. And Herbbwe layde wuz liek, whoa its my baby. Only she dint sai it ot lowd.
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# An wen he wuz grone up, Princess wuz sayed, Ur naym is Moses, srsly.
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2:6. SHE OPEND IT, AN' SEEIN WITHIN IT AN INFANT CRYIN, HAVIN COMPASHUN ON IT, SHE SAID: DIS AR TEH WAN OV TEH BABEZ OV TEH HEBREWS.  
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# Wun dai Moses saw sum gyptian guy beting on a nother Jew.
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# So he capped him.
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2:7. AN' TEH CHILD’S SISTR SAID 2 HR: SHALL I GO, AN' CALL 2 THEE HEBREW WOMAN, 2 NURSE TEH BABE?  
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# An then sum otha guyz whu wurr Jewz saied, Why joo do dat?
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# An Moses wuz llike Your not teh bos of me! An thot to hisself How did tehy no bout it?
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2:8. SHE ANZWERD: GO. TEH MAID WENT AN' CALLD HR MOTHR.  
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# An Pharo wuz liek, WHUT? GONNA KILL HIM! But Moses runnd awai to liv in Midian.
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# An dese gurls caym to get woter for sheeples, an wuz seven of dem.
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2:9. AN' PHARAO’S DAUGHTR SAID 2 HR: TAEK DIS CHILD, AN' NURSE HIM 4 ME: IM GONNA GIV THEE THY WAGEZ. TEH WOMAN TOOK AN' NURSD TEH CHILD: AN' WHEN HE WUZ GROWN UP, SHE DELIVERD HIM 2 PHARAO’S DAUGHTR.  
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# An sheepleherds triyed to stop em but Moses helpd em.
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# Teh gurls got hoem, an thier dad sayd Why joo so quik getin woter?
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2:10. AN' SHE ADOPTD HIM 4 SON, AN' CALLD HIM MOSEZ, SAYIN: BECAUSE I TOOK HIM OUT OV TEH WATR.  
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# So they tole him a bowt Moses.
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# An ther dad wuz liek Bring hm her fr sum fode to eeat.
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2:11. IN DOSE DAIS, AFTR MOSEZ WUZ GROWN UP, HE WENT OUT 2 HIS BRETHREN: AN' SAW THEIR AFFLICSHUN, AN' AN EGYPTIAN STRIKIN WAN OV TEH HEBREWS, HIS BRETHREN.  
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# An Moses livd wif da man an maried his doter Zipporah.
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# An tehy haded a baby cald Gershom, an wer liek lol gershom funy name.
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2:12. AN' WHEN HE HAD LOOKD BOUT DIS WAI AN' DAT WAI, AN' SAW NO WAN THAR, HE SLEW TEH EGYPTIAN AN' HID HIM IN DA SAND.  
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# An latr on Pharo died an all teh Jews werre llike, too much wurk.
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# An Invisible Man herd em say it, and saied to hisself Oh rite. I is ment to not let that hapn.
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2:13. AN' GOIN OUT TEH NEXT DAI, HE SAW 2 HEBREWS QUARRELLIN: AN' HE SAID 2 HIM DAT DID TEH WRONG: Y STRIKEST THOU THY NEIGHBOUR?  
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# An Invisible Man gave props to teh Heberws, srsly.
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2:14. BUT HE ANZWERD: HOO HATH APPOINTD THEE PRINCE AN' JUDGE OVAR US? WILT THOU KILL ME, AS THOU DIDST YESTERDAI KILL TEH EGYPTIAN? MOSEZ FEARD, AN' SAID: HOW IZ DIS COME 2 BE KNOWN?
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2:15. AN' PHARAO HEARD OV DIS WERD, AN' SOUGHT 2 KILL MOSEZ: BUT HE FLD FRUM HIS SIGHT, AN' ABODE IN DA LAND OV MADIAN, AN' HE SAT DOWN BY WELL.  
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2:16. AN' TEH PRIEST OV MADIAN HAD 7 DAUGHTERS, HOO CAME 2 DRAW WATR: AN' WHEN TEH TROUGHS WUZ FILLD, DESIRD 2 WATR THEIR FATHR’S FLOCKZ.  
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2:17. AN' TEH SHEPHERDZ CAME AN' DROOV THEM AWAY: AN' MOSEZ AROSE, AN' DEFENDIN TEH MAIDZ, WATERD THEIR SHEEP.  
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2:18: AN' WHEN THEY RETURND 2 RAGUEL THEIR FATHR, HE SAID 2 THEM: Y R YE COME SOONR THAN USUAL?  
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19. THEY ANZWERD: MAN OV EGYPT DELIVERD US FRUM TEH HANZ OV TEH SHEPHERDZ: AN' HE DREW WATR ALSO WIF US, AN' GAEV TEH SHEEP 2 DRINK.  
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2:20. BUT HE SAID: WHERE IZ HE? Y HAS U LET TEH MAN GO? CALL HIM DAT HE MAY EAT BREAD.  
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2:21. AN' MOSEZ SWORE DAT HE WUD DWELL WIF HIM. AN' HE TOOK SEPHORA HIS DAUGHTR 2 WIFE:
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2:22. AN' SHE BORE HIM SON, WHOM HE CALLD GERSAM, SAYIN: I HAS BEEN STRANGR IN FOREIGN COUNTRY. AN' SHE BORE ANOTHR, WHOM HE CALLD ELIEZR, SAYIN: 4 DA GAWD OV MAH FATHR, MAH HELPR, HATH DELIVERD ME OUT OV TEH HAND OV PHARAO.  
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2:23. NAO AFTR LONG TIME TEH KIN OV EGYPT DID: AN' TEH CHILDREN OV ISRAEL GROANIN, CRID OUT BECAUSE OV TEH WORKZ: AN' THEIR CRY WENT UP UNTO GAWD FRUM TEH WORKZ.  
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2:24. AN' HE HEARD THEIR GROANIN, AN' REMEMBERD TEH COVENANT WHICH HE MADE WIF ABRAHAM, ISAAC, AN' JACOB.  
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2:25. AN' TEH LORD LOOKD UPON TEH CHILDREN OV ISRAEL, AN' HE KNEW THEM.
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Retrieved from "http://lolcatbible.com/index.php/Book_of_Exodus"
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Revision as of 08:37, 27 August 2007

Old Testament
Bible5.gif
  1. Sum guye wented to Levi's place an marryed hiz doter.
  2. An the doter hd a bayby who wuz a boi so she hided himm.
  3. So she decided to do wot Pharo saied an put hm in teh rievr but seh made a bote fur him sos he woudt drounz.
  4. An sum othar laydie wotched him flote awai.
  5. An teh Princess was nekkid in de riiver and sawed teh widdle babie and gotted him out.
  6. An teh beyby cryd, an Princess wuz liek whoah. A Hebruw.
  7. An a survant sayd shoud I gett a Hebruwe to luk affer it?
  8. An Princes she wuz liyk, yeah.
  9. Princess wuz Phoaro's daoter, btw, srsly. An she sed to teh Heberw ladie I wil gift yu monies for loking aftr teh baby. And Herbbwe layde wuz liek, whoa its my baby. Only she dint sai it ot lowd.
  10. An wen he wuz grone up, Princess wuz sayed, Ur naym is Moses, srsly.
  11. Wun dai Moses saw sum gyptian guy beting on a nother Jew.
  12. So he capped him.
  13. An then sum otha guyz whu wurr Jewz saied, Why joo do dat?
  14. An Moses wuz llike Your not teh bos of me! An thot to hisself How did tehy no bout it?
  15. An Pharo wuz liek, WHUT? GONNA KILL HIM! But Moses runnd awai to liv in Midian.
  16. An dese gurls caym to get woter for sheeples, an wuz seven of dem.
  17. An sheepleherds triyed to stop em but Moses helpd em.
  18. Teh gurls got hoem, an thier dad sayd Why joo so quik getin woter?
  19. So they tole him a bowt Moses.
  20. An ther dad wuz liek Bring hm her fr sum fode to eeat.
  21. An Moses livd wif da man an maried his doter Zipporah.
  22. An tehy haded a baby cald Gershom, an wer liek lol gershom funy name.
  23. An latr on Pharo died an all teh Jews werre llike, too much wurk.
  24. An Invisible Man herd em say it, and saied to hisself Oh rite. I is ment to not let that hapn.
  25. An Invisible Man gave props to teh Heberws, srsly.
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