Exodus 2

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{{Old Testament}}
{{Old Testament}}
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2:1. AFTR DIS THAR WENT MAN OV TEH HOUSE OV LEVI; AN' TOOK WIFE OV HIS OWN KINDRD.  
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=====Birthin teh Moses=====
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[[Image:mosesinabukkit.gif|thumb|200px|left|Princess findz Moses in a bukket in teh rievr (Ex 2:5).]]
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{{verse
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|1=Sum guye wented to Levi's place an marryed hiz doter.
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|2=An the doter hd a bayby who wuz a boi so she hided himm.
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|3=So she decided to do wot Pharo saied an put hm in teh rievr but she maded a bukkit fur him sos he woudnt drounz. An she sayed, Pharo is liek rly laem 4 tellz us puts babyz in teh river an not sais u no can has bukkitz, lol st00pid Pharo.
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|4=An his big sis miriam wuz tehr 2 an she hided an wotched him flote awai. She like kthxbai. An teh crocodielz an teh lolrusz did not eated him. Wich wuz good cuz if dey did tehr wudnt b no mor storyz an htis wud b rly short bibul.}}
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2:2. AN' SHE CONCEIVD, AN' BORE SON: AN' SEEIN HIM GOODLY CHILD, HID HIM 3 MONTHS.  
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{{verse
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|5=An teh Princess was nekkid in ur riiver havin baffs cuz she rly liekd baffs and sawed teh widdle babie and gotted him out.
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|6=An teh baby cryd, an Princess wuz liek, whoah. A Hebruw. An he iz teh cute 2. WANT!!!!}}
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2:3. AN' WHEN SHE COULD HIDE HIM NO LONGR, SHE TOOK BASKET MADE OV BULRUSHEZ, AN' DAUBD IT WIF SLIME AN' PITCH: AN' PUT TEH LITTLE BABE THEREIN, AN' LAID HIM IN DA SEDGEZ BY TEH RIVR’S BRINK,  
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{{verse
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|7=An miriam wuz teh rly smrt kidz an she sayed, shoud I gett a Hebruwe to takes caer ovr it?}}
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2:4. HIS SISTR STANDIN AFAR OFF, AN' TAKIN NOTICE WAT WUD BE DUN.  
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{{verse
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|8=An Princes she wuz liek, yeah. so miriam wentd bak 2 her momcats base an sayed, woah mom, teh princess is finded my kid bro an she is wants hebroo momcat to taeks care of him an u can goes 2 princessz base an do dat an how kewl iz htat?
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|9=Btw, Princess wuz Phoaro's doter, srsly. An she sed to teh Heberw ladie who wuz rly teh babyz momcat u can has a money 4 bein babysitr an she sed k. cuz Herbbwe layde wuz liek, whoa its my baby. Only she dint sai it ot lowd.
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|10=An wen he wuz grone up, Princess wuz sayed, Ur naym is Moses, srsly. cuz she sed, i meanz i took u out ov teh riverz an stuff.}}
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2:5. AN' BEHOLD TEH DAUGHTR OV PHARAO CAME DOWN 2 WASH HERSELF IN DA RIVR: AN' HR MAIDZ WALKD BY TEH RIVR’S BRINK. AN' WHEN SHE SAW TEH BASKET IN DA SEDGEZ SHE SENT WAN OV HR MAIDZ 4 IT: AN' WHEN IT WUZ BROUGHT,  
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=====Runnin awai 2 Midian=====
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{{verse
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|11= Moses all growup now. Wun dayz he go see his frenz. they is workin hard. Moses seez sum Gypshun d00d beatin up a Joo laik Mosis.
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|12=Moses look round an not see no 1 and he go and pwnd teh Gypshun. He sed b00m hed shot but qu1et laik. He hided teh bodi in sand to makes it invisabl bodi.
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|13=An then sum otha guyz whu wurr Jewz wuz fightin! Moses saiz to teh guy whu started it, whi yoo whalin on anuther Jew?}}
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2:6. SHE OPEND IT, AN' SEEIN WITHIN IT AN INFANT CRYIN, HAVIN COMPASHUN ON IT, SHE SAID: DIS AR TEH WAN OV TEH BABEZ OV TEH HEBREWS.
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{{verse
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|14=An guy wuz like, Your not teh bos of us! Yoo gonna pwn me laik joo pwn Gypshun?!? An Moses thot to hisself, How did tehy no bout it?}}
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2:7. AN' TEH CHILD’S SISTR SAID 2 HR: SHALL I GO, AN' CALL 2 THEE HEBREW WOMAN, 2 NURSE TEH BABE?
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{{verse
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|15=An Pharo wuz liek, WHUT? GONNA KILL HIM! But Moses runnd awai to liv in Midian wif d00d naemd Jethro but ncis wuznt inventd yet so he was sheeplhurd.
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|16=An dese gurls caym to get woter for sheeples, an wuz seven of dem.
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|17=An sum sheepleherds who wuz bout as evil as puppehs saiz, u no can has a watr, an triyed to stop em but Moses helpd em.}}
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2:8. SHE ANZWERD: GO. TEH MAID WENT AN' CALLD HR MOTHR.
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{{verse
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|18=Teh gurls got hoem, an thier dad sayd, Why u so quik getin woter?}}
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2:9. AN' PHARAO’S DAUGHTR SAID 2 HR: TAEK DIS CHILD, AN' NURSE HIM 4 ME: IM GONNA GIV THEE THY WAGEZ. TEH WOMAN TOOK AN' NURSD TEH CHILD: AN' WHEN HE WUZ GROWN UP, SHE DELIVERD HIM 2 PHARAO’S DAUGHTR.  
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{{verse
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|19=So they tole him a bowt Moses. but dey didnt tellz him dey thot Moses wuz all hot an sexy an stuffs.}}
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2:10. AN' SHE ADOPTD HIM 4 SON, AN' CALLD HIM MOSEZ, SAYIN: BECAUSE I TOOK HIM OUT OV TEH WATR.  
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{{verse
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|20=An ther dad wuz liek, Bring hm her an he can haz cheezburgrz an pepsis an stuff, but no fryz cuz fryz wuznt nventd yet.}}
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2:11. IN DOSE DAIS, AFTR MOSEZ WUZ GROWN UP, HE WENT OUT 2 HIS BRETHREN: AN' SAW THEIR AFFLICSHUN, AN' AN EGYPTIAN STRIKIN WAN OV TEH HEBREWS, HIS BRETHREN.  
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{{verse
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|21=An Moses livd wif da man an maried his doter Zipporah. An all teh ohter grrlz wuz sorta jelus but l8r dey can haz menz 2 so was k.
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|22=An tehy haded a baby cald Gershom, an wer liek, lol Gershom funy name.}}
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2:12. AN' WHEN HE HAD LOOKD BOUT DIS WAI AN' DAT WAI, AN' SAW NO WAN THAR, HE SLEW TEH EGYPTIAN AN' HID HIM IN DA SAND.  
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{{verse
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|23=An latr on Pharo died an all teh Jews werre laik, too much wurk an htis suxxxxxx rly rly terabl. 4 realz.
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|24=An Ceiling Cat herd em say it, and saied to hisself, Oh rite i 4got. I is ment to not let that hapn. sry i iz stil n00b Ceiling Cat an i wil fixz htat bug in urths version 2.1.
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|25=An Ceiling Cat gave props to teh Heberws, srsly.}}
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2:13. AN' GOIN OUT TEH NEXT DAI, HE SAW 2 HEBREWS QUARRELLIN: AN' HE SAID 2 HIM DAT DID TEH WRONG: Y STRIKEST THOU THY NEIGHBOUR?
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{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Leviticus]]|PrevBook=[[Genesis]]|NextChap=[[Exodus 3]]|PrevChap=[[Exodus 1]]}}
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2:14. BUT HE ANZWERD: HOO HATH APPOINTD THEE PRINCE AN' JUDGE OVAR US? WILT THOU KILL ME, AS THOU DIDST YESTERDAI KILL TEH EGYPTIAN? MOSEZ FEARD, AN' SAID: HOW IZ DIS COME 2 BE KNOWN?
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[[Category:Exodus|Exodus 2]]
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2:15. AN' PHARAO HEARD OV DIS WERD, AN' SOUGHT 2 KILL MOSEZ: BUT HE FLD FRUM HIS SIGHT, AN' ABODE IN DA LAND OV MADIAN, AN' HE SAT DOWN BY WELL.
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2:16. AN' TEH PRIEST OV MADIAN HAD 7 DAUGHTERS, HOO CAME 2 DRAW WATR: AN' WHEN TEH TROUGHS WUZ FILLD, DESIRD 2 WATR THEIR FATHR’S FLOCKZ.
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2:17. AN' TEH SHEPHERDZ CAME AN' DROOV THEM AWAY: AN' MOSEZ AROSE, AN' DEFENDIN TEH MAIDZ, WATERD THEIR SHEEP.
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2:18: AN' WHEN THEY RETURND 2 RAGUEL THEIR FATHR, HE SAID 2 THEM: Y R YE COME SOONR THAN USUAL?
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19. THEY ANZWERD: MAN OV EGYPT DELIVERD US FRUM TEH HANZ OV TEH SHEPHERDZ: AN' HE DREW WATR ALSO WIF US, AN' GAEV TEH SHEEP 2 DRINK.
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2:20. BUT HE SAID: WHERE IZ HE? Y HAS U LET TEH MAN GO? CALL HIM DAT HE MAY EAT BREAD.
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2:21. AN' MOSEZ SWORE DAT HE WUD DWELL WIF HIM. AN' HE TOOK SEPHORA HIS DAUGHTR 2 WIFE:
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2:22. AN' SHE BORE HIM SON, WHOM HE CALLD GERSAM, SAYIN: I HAS BEEN STRANGR IN FOREIGN COUNTRY. AN' SHE BORE ANOTHR, WHOM HE CALLD ELIEZR, SAYIN: 4 DA GAWD OV MAH FATHR, MAH HELPR, HATH DELIVERD ME OUT OV TEH HAND OV PHARAO.
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2:23. NAO AFTR LONG TIME TEH KIN OV EGYPT DID: AN' TEH CHILDREN OV ISRAEL GROANIN, CRID OUT BECAUSE OV TEH WORKZ: AN' THEIR CRY WENT UP UNTO GAWD FRUM TEH WORKZ.
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2:24. AN' HE HEARD THEIR GROANIN, AN' REMEMBERD TEH COVENANT WHICH HE MADE WIF ABRAHAM, ISAAC, AN' JACOB.
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2:25. AN' TEH LORD LOOKD UPON TEH CHILDREN OV ISRAEL, AN' HE KNEW THEM.
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Retrieved from "http://lolcatbible.com/index.php/Book_of_Exodus"
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Latest revision as of 12:39, 5 December 2009

Old Testament
Bible5.gif
Birthin teh Moses
Princess findz Moses in a bukket in teh rievr (Ex 2:5).

1 Sum guye wented to Levi's place an marryed hiz doter.2 An the doter hd a bayby who wuz a boi so she hided himm.3 So she decided to do wot Pharo saied an put hm in teh rievr but she maded a bukkit fur him sos he woudnt drounz. An she sayed, Pharo is liek rly laem 4 tellz us puts babyz in teh river an not sais u no can has bukkitz, lol st00pid Pharo.4 An his big sis miriam wuz tehr 2 an she hided an wotched him flote awai. She like kthxbai. An teh crocodielz an teh lolrusz did not eated him. Wich wuz good cuz if dey did tehr wudnt b no mor storyz an htis wud b rly short bibul.

5 An teh Princess was nekkid in ur riiver havin baffs cuz she rly liekd baffs and sawed teh widdle babie and gotted him out.6 An teh baby cryd, an Princess wuz liek, whoah. A Hebruw. An he iz teh cute 2. WANT!!!!

7 An miriam wuz teh rly smrt kidz an she sayed, shoud I gett a Hebruwe to takes caer ovr it?

8 An Princes she wuz liek, yeah. so miriam wentd bak 2 her momcats base an sayed, woah mom, teh princess is finded my kid bro an she is wants hebroo momcat to taeks care of him an u can goes 2 princessz base an do dat an how kewl iz htat?9 Btw, Princess wuz Phoaro's doter, srsly. An she sed to teh Heberw ladie who wuz rly teh babyz momcat u can has a money 4 bein babysitr an she sed k. cuz Herbbwe layde wuz liek, whoa its my baby. Only she dint sai it ot lowd.10 An wen he wuz grone up, Princess wuz sayed, Ur naym is Moses, srsly. cuz she sed, i meanz i took u out ov teh riverz an stuff.

Runnin awai 2 Midian

11 Moses all growup now. Wun dayz he go see his frenz. they is workin hard. Moses seez sum Gypshun d00d beatin up a Joo laik Mosis.12 Moses look round an not see no 1 and he go and pwnd teh Gypshun. He sed b00m hed shot but qu1et laik. He hided teh bodi in sand to makes it invisabl bodi.13 An then sum otha guyz whu wurr Jewz wuz fightin! Moses saiz to teh guy whu started it, whi yoo whalin on anuther Jew?

14 An guy wuz like, Your not teh bos of us! Yoo gonna pwn me laik joo pwn Gypshun?!? An Moses thot to hisself, How did tehy no bout it?

15 An Pharo wuz liek, WHUT? GONNA KILL HIM! But Moses runnd awai to liv in Midian wif d00d naemd Jethro but ncis wuznt inventd yet so he was sheeplhurd.16 An dese gurls caym to get woter for sheeples, an wuz seven of dem.17 An sum sheepleherds who wuz bout as evil as puppehs saiz, u no can has a watr, an triyed to stop em but Moses helpd em.

18 Teh gurls got hoem, an thier dad sayd, Why u so quik getin woter?

19 So they tole him a bowt Moses. but dey didnt tellz him dey thot Moses wuz all hot an sexy an stuffs.

20 An ther dad wuz liek, Bring hm her an he can haz cheezburgrz an pepsis an stuff, but no fryz cuz fryz wuznt nventd yet.

21 An Moses livd wif da man an maried his doter Zipporah. An all teh ohter grrlz wuz sorta jelus but l8r dey can haz menz 2 so was k.22 An tehy haded a baby cald Gershom, an wer liek, lol Gershom funy name.

23 An latr on Pharo died an all teh Jews werre laik, too much wurk an htis suxxxxxx rly rly terabl. 4 realz.24 An Ceiling Cat herd em say it, and saied to hisself, Oh rite i 4got. I is ment to not let that hapn. sry i iz stil n00b Ceiling Cat an i wil fixz htat bug in urths version 2.1.25 An Ceiling Cat gave props to teh Heberws, srsly.

Exodus 2
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