Exodus 1

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Old Testament
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Israel Gets Bigga In Egypt
  1. An Jacob wented to Egypt and ppl an ther beybies goed too. Teh pepl wuz:
  2. Ruben an Simeon an Levi an Judah
  3. an Issachar and Zebulun an Benjamin
  4. an Dan an Naphtali an Gad an Asher.
  5. An evrywun wuz liek, we camed from Jacobses penises. Lol. An thier woz sebbenty of em.
  6. An thenn tehy wuz al ded. Srsly.
  7. An then thhere childern wuz lik, PENIS GOES WHERE? An then they new whear penis wents, and maded babieses.
  8. An some othar guy wuz liek, lol I am Kinng of Egypt. Whose is Joseph? Dont even no.
  9. King sayed to hiz peeps: Yo. Look at teh Jews are lots of em.
  10. We gotta stops em an take thear cheezburger. Or els theyll takes our cheezburger, srsly.
  11. An he gived them too muchly werk to do. An wuz liek, bild me citeis! Wif treasurz!
  12. But teh Jewz alredy knoed where penis goes. An wer liek, yay babis. But boo, worrk.
  13. An Egyptianz were like, work hardr!
  14. An Egyptianz werr liek, Srsly, do all teh work for us. An work hardr.
  15. An Egyptking wuz liek, yo babyladies, who mayke babies cum out.
  16. Wen therz a boy jew, kill him. Wen therz a girl jew, kept them sose I can mack them. Kthxbye.
  17. But babyladies sayed to selvs, teh Ceiling Cat wont like. An they didnt.
  18. An the King he saied, WHUT?
  19. An they syad to him, lady Jews dont even need us fur babes. They iz liek, nah. (O, an BTW, ur lady Egyptianz iz laemerer.)
  20. Ceiling Cat wuz liek to babyladies, yu cann hav cheezburgers.
  21. An buckets.
  22. King wuz says, evrone lissen up! All teh boy jws go in teh rivr, k?
  24. an ceiling cat sayz tat he likey da boobies cuz they prety
  25. cieling cat say no kill jws no mus
Exodus 1
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