Exodus 1

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Old Testament

Israel Gets Bigga In Egypt

1 An Jacob wented to Egypt and ppl an ther beybies goed too. Teh pepl wuz:2 Ruben an Simeon an Levi an Judah3 an Issachar and Zebulun an Benjamin4 an Dan an Naphtali an Gad an Asher.5 An evrywun wuz liek, we camed from Jacobses. Lol. An thier woz sebbenty of em.kthxbai!

6 An thenn tehy wuz al ded. Srsly.7 An then thhere childern wuz lik, PENIS GOES WHERE? An then they new whear penis wents, and maded babieses.

8 An some othar guy wuz liek, lol I am Kinng of Egypt. Whose is Joseph? Dont even no.9 King sayed to hiz peeps: Yo. Look at teh Ibruz are lots of em.10 We gotta stops em an take thear cheezburger. Or els theyll takes our cheezburger, srsly.

11 An he gived them too muchly werk to do. An wuz liek, mek teh citeis! Wif treasurz!12 But teh Ibruz alredy knoed where penis goes. An wer liek, yay babis. But boo, worrk.13 An Egyptianz were like, work hardr!14 An Egyptianz werr liek, Srsly, do all teh work for us. An work hardr.

15 An Egyptking wuz liek, yo babyladies, who mayke babies cum out.16 Wen therz a boy jew, kill him. Wen therz a girl jew, kept them sose I can mack them. Kthxbye.17 But babyladies sayed to selvs, teh Ceiling Cat wont like. An they didnt.18 An the King he saied, WHUT?

19 An they syad to him, lady Jews dont even need us fur babes. They iz liek, nah. (O, an BTW, ur lady Egyptianz iz laemerer.)20 Ceiling Cat wuz liek to babyladies, yu cann hav cheezburgers.21 An buckets.

22 Then teh King wuz liek, evrone lissen up! All teh boy jws go in teh rivr, k? let dey b pwntand the cat wuz lyke kk in teh river they go rofl chuck cheez burgerz of there hedz then go river big rofl they dezerve it they are noobz

Exodus 1
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(thenz teh celing cat wuz lyke wtf that was my unkle jimmz then jimmz was lky omg im in da river rofl and lyke omg
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