Exodus 1

From LOLCat Bible Translation Project

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
m (Exodus One moved to Exodus 1)
Line 1: Line 1:
{{Old Testament}}
{{Old Testament}}
-
'''1.''' THEES R TEH NAMEZ OV TEH CHILDREN OV ISRAEL, DAT WENT INTO EGYPT WIF JACOB: THEY WENT IN EVERY MAN WIF HIS HOUSEHOLD:  
+
'''1.''' An Jacob wented to Egypt and ppl an ther beybies goed too. Teh pepl wuz:
-
'''2.''' RUBEN, SIMEON, LEVI, JUDA,
+
'''2.''' Ruben an Simeon an Levi an Judah
-
'''3.''' ISACHAR, ZABULON, AN' BENJAMIN,
+
'''3.''' an Issachar and Zebulun an Benjamin
-
'''4.''' DAN, AN' NEPHTHALI, GAD AN' ASR.  
+
'''4.''' an Dan an Naphtali an Gad an Asher.
-
'''5.''' AN' ALL TEH SOULS DAT CAME OUT OV JACOB’S THIGH, WUZ SEVENTY: BUT JOSEPH WUZ IN EGYPT.  
+
'''5.''' An evrywun wuz liek, we camed from Jacobses penises. Lol. An thier woz sebbenty of em.
-
'''6.''' AFTR HE WUZ DEAD, AN' ALL HIS BRETHREN, AN' ALL DAT GENERASHUN,
+
'''6.''' An thenn tehy wuz al ded. Srsly.
-
'''7.''' TEH CHILDREN OV ISRAEL INCREASD, AN' SPRUNG UP INTO MULTITUDEZ, AN' GROWIN EXCEEDINGLY STRONG THEY FILLD TEH LAND.  
+
'''7.''' An then thhere childern wuz lik, PENIS GOES WHERE? An then they new whear penis wents, and maded babieses.
-
'''8.''' IN DA MEEN TIME THAR AROSE NEW KIN OVAR EGYPT, DAT KNEW NOT JOSEPH:
+
'''8.''' An some othar guy wuz liek, lol I am Kinng of Egypt. Whose is Joseph? Dont even no.
-
'''9.''' AN' HE SAID 2 HIS PEEPS: BEHOLD TEH PEEPS OV TEH CHILDREN OV ISRAEL R NUMEROUS AN' STRONGR THAN WE.  
+
'''9.''' King sayed to hiz peeps: Yo. Look at teh Jews are lots of em.
-
'''10.''' COME LET US WISELY OPPRES THEM, LEST THEY MULTIPLY: AN' IF ANY WAR SHALL RIZE AGAINST US, JOIN WIF R ENEMIEZ, AN' HAVIN OVERCOME US, DEPART OUT OV TEH LAND.  
+
'''10.''' We gotta stops em an take thear cheezburger. Or els theyll takes our cheezburger, srsly.
-
'''11.''' THER4 HE SET OVAR THEM MASTERZ OV TEH WORKZ, 2 AFLICT THEM WIF BURDENS: AN' THEY BUILT 4 PHARAO CITIEZ OV TABERNACLEZ, PHITHOM, AN' RAMESEZ.
+
'''11.''' An he gived them too muchly werk to do. An wuz liek, bild me citeis! Wif treasurz!
-
'''12.''' BUT TEH MOAR THEY OPPRESD THEM, TEH MOAR THEY WUZ MULTIPLID AN' INCREASD.  
+
'''12.''' But teh Jewz alredy knoed where penis goes. An wer liek, yay babis. But boo, worrk.
-
'''13.''' AN' TEH EGYPTIANZ HATD TEH CHILDREN OV ISRAEL, AN' AFFLICTD THEM AN' MOCKD THEM:
+
'''13.''' An Egyptianz were like, work hardr!
-
'''14.''' AN' THEY MADE THEIR LIFE BITTR WIF HARD WORKZ IN CLAY AN' BRICK, AN' WIF ALL MANNR OV SERVICE, WHEREWITH THEY WUZ OVERCHARGD IN DA WORKZ OV TEH EARTH.  
+
'''14.'''An Egyptianz werr liek, Srsly, do all teh work for us. An work hardr.
-
'''15.''' AN' TEH KIN OV EGYPT SPOKE 2 TEH MIDWIVEZ OV TEH HEBREWS: OV WHOM WAN WUZ CALLD SEPHORA, TEH OTHR PHUA,  
+
'''15.''' An Egyptking wuz liek, yo babyladies, who mayke babies cum out.
-
'''16.''' COMMANDIN THEM: WHEN U SHALL DO TEH OFFICE OV MIDWIVEZ 2 TEH HEBREW WOMEN, AN' TEH TIME OV DELIVERY IZ COME: IF IT BE MAN CHILD, KILL IT: IF WOMAN, KEEP IT ALIV.  
+
'''16.''' Wen therz a boy jew, kill him. Wen therz a girl jew, kept them sose I can mack them. Kthxbye.
-
'''17.''' BUT TEH MIDWIVEZ FEARD GAWD, AN' DID NOT DO AS TEH KIN OV EGYPT HAD COMMANDD, BUT SAVD TEH DOODZ CHLDRN.  
+
'''17.''' But babyladies sayed to selvs, teh Invisible Man wont like. An they didnt.
-
'''18.''' AN' TEH KIN CALLD 4 THEM AN' SAID: WAT IZ DAT U MEANT 2 DO, DAT U WUD SAVE TEH DOODZ CHILDREN?  
+
'''18.''' An the King he saied, WHUT?
-
'''19.''' THEY ANZWERD: TEH HEBREW WOMEN R NOT AS TEH EGYPTIAN WOMEN: 4 THEY THEMSELVEZ R SKILFUL IN DA OFFICE OV MIDWIFE; AN' THEY R DELIVERD BEFORE WE COME 2 THEM.  
+
'''19.''' An they syad to him, lady Jews dont even need us fur babes. They iz liek, nah.
-
'''20.''' THEREFORE GAWD DEALT WELL WIF TEH MIDWIVEZ: AN' TEH PEEPS MULTIPLID AN' GREW ECKSEEEDINGLY STRNG.  
+
'''20.''' Invisible Man wuz liek to babyladies, yu cann hav cheezburgers.
-
'''21.''' AN' BECAUSE TEH MIDWIVEZ FEARD GAWD, HE BUILT THEM HOUSEZ.  
+
'''21.''' An buckets.
-
BECAUSE TEH MIDWIVEZ FEARD GAWD, ETC... TEH MIDWIVEZ WUZ REWARDD, NOT 4 THEIR LIE, WHICH WUZ VENIAL SIN; BUT 4 THEIR FEAR OV GAWD, AN' THEIR HUMANITY: BUT DIS REWARD WUZ ONLY TEMPORAL, IN BUILDIN THEM HOUSEZ, DAT IZ, IN ESTABLISHIN AN' ENRICHIN THEIR FAMILIEZ.
+
'''22.''' King wuz says, evrone lissen up! All teh boy jws go in teh rivr, k?
-
 
+
-
'''22.''' PHARAO THEREFORE CHARGD ALL HIS PEEPS, SAYIN: WHATSOEVR SHALL BE BORN OV TEH MALE SEKZ, YE SHALL CAST INTO TEH RIVR: WHATSOEVR OV TEH FEMALE, YE SHALL SAVE ALIV.
+

Revision as of 04:54, 26 August 2007

Old Testament
Bible5.gif

1. An Jacob wented to Egypt and ppl an ther beybies goed too. Teh pepl wuz:

2. Ruben an Simeon an Levi an Judah

3. an Issachar and Zebulun an Benjamin

4. an Dan an Naphtali an Gad an Asher.

5. An evrywun wuz liek, we camed from Jacobses penises. Lol. An thier woz sebbenty of em.

6. An thenn tehy wuz al ded. Srsly.

7. An then thhere childern wuz lik, PENIS GOES WHERE? An then they new whear penis wents, and maded babieses.

8. An some othar guy wuz liek, lol I am Kinng of Egypt. Whose is Joseph? Dont even no.

9. King sayed to hiz peeps: Yo. Look at teh Jews are lots of em.

10. We gotta stops em an take thear cheezburger. Or els theyll takes our cheezburger, srsly.

11. An he gived them too muchly werk to do. An wuz liek, bild me citeis! Wif treasurz!

12. But teh Jewz alredy knoed where penis goes. An wer liek, yay babis. But boo, worrk.

13. An Egyptianz were like, work hardr!

14.An Egyptianz werr liek, Srsly, do all teh work for us. An work hardr.

15. An Egyptking wuz liek, yo babyladies, who mayke babies cum out.

16. Wen therz a boy jew, kill him. Wen therz a girl jew, kept them sose I can mack them. Kthxbye.

17. But babyladies sayed to selvs, teh Invisible Man wont like. An they didnt.

18. An the King he saied, WHUT?

19. An they syad to him, lady Jews dont even need us fur babes. They iz liek, nah.

20. Invisible Man wuz liek to babyladies, yu cann hav cheezburgers.

21. An buckets.

22. King wuz says, evrone lissen up! All teh boy jws go in teh rivr, k?

Personal tools