Exodus 1

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{{Old Testament}}
{{Old Testament}}
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'''1.''' THEES R TEH NAMEZ OV TEH CHILDREN OV ISRAEL, DAT WENT INTO EGYPT WIF JACOB: THEY WENT IN EVERY MAN WIF HIS HOUSEHOLD:
 
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'''2.''' RUBEN, SIMEON, LEVI, JUDA,
 
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'''3.''' ISACHAR, ZABULON, AN' BENJAMIN,  
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=====Israel Gets Bigga In Egypt=====
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{{verse
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|1=An Jacob wented to Egypt and ppl an ther beybies goed too. Teh pepl wuz:
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|2=Ruben an Simeon an Levi an Judah
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|3=an Issachar and Zebulun an Benjamin
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|4=an Dan an Naphtali an Gad an Asher.
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|5=An evrywun wuz liek, we camed from Jacobses. Lol. An thier woz sebbenty of em.kthxbai!}}
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'''4.''' DAN, AN' NEPHTHALI, GAD AN' ASR.  
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{{verse
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|6=An thenn tehy wuz al ded. Srsly.
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|7=An then thhere childern wuz lik, HARBLZ GOES WHERE? An then they new whear harblz wents, and maded babieses.}}
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'''5.''' AN' ALL TEH SOULS DAT CAME OUT OV JACOB’S THIGH, WUZ SEVENTY: BUT JOSEPH WUZ IN EGYPT.  
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{{verse
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|8=An then thier wuz a n00b king, an he wuz liek, lol I am King of Eegypt and all dat shizz. Whoz Joseph? Don't even no.
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|9=King sayed to hiz peeps: Yo. Look at teh Ibruz, are lots of em.
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|10=We gotta stops em an take thear cheezburger. Or els theyll takes our cheezburger, srsly. (also teh n00b king wuz kinda racist)}}
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'''6.''' AFTR HE WUZ DEAD, AN' ALL HIS BRETHREN, AN' ALL DAT GENERASHUN,  
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{{verse
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|11=An he gived them too muchly werk to do. An wuz liek, mek teh citeis! Wif treasurz!
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|12=But teh Ibruz alredy knoed where harblz goes. An wer liek, yay babis. But boo, worrk.
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|13=An Egyptianz were like, work hardr!
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|14=An Egyptianz werr liek, Srsly, do all teh work for us. An work hardr.}}
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'''7.''' TEH CHILDREN OV ISRAEL INCREASD, AN' SPRUNG UP INTO MULTITUDEZ, AN' GROWIN EXCEEDINGLY STRONG THEY FILLD TEH LAND.  
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{{verse
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|15=An Egyptking wuz liek, yo babyladies, who mayke babies cum out.
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|16=Wen therz a boy jew, kill him. Wen therz a girl jew, kept them sose I can mack them. Kthxbye.
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|17=But babyladies sayed to selvs, teh Ceiling Cat wont like. An they didnt.
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|18=An the King he sayed, WHUT?}}
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'''8.''' IN DA MEEN TIME THAR AROSE NEW KIN OVAR EGYPT, DAT KNEW NOT JOSEPH:
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{{verse
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|19=An they sayed to him, lady Jews dont even need us fur babes. They iz liek, nah. (O, an BTW, ur lady Egyptianz iz laemerer.)
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|20=Ceiling Cat wuz liek to babyladies, yu cann hav cheezburgers.
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|21=An buckets.}}
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'''9.''' AN' HE SAID 2 HIS PEEPS: BEHOLD TEH PEEPS OV TEH CHILDREN OV ISRAEL R NUMEROUS AN' STRONGR THAN WE.
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{{verse
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|22=Then teh King wuz liek, evrone lissen up! All teh boy jws go in teh rivr, k? let dey b pwnt!
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An the Cat wuz liek, kk in teh river they go rofl chuck cheezburgerz of there hedz then go river big rofl they dezerve it they are noobz}}
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'''10.''' COME LET US WISELY OPPRES THEM, LEST THEY MULTIPLY: AN' IF ANY WAR SHALL RIZE AGAINST US, JOIN WIF R ENEMIEZ, AN' HAVIN OVERCOME US, DEPART OUT OV TEH LAND.
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{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Leviticus]]|PrevBook=[[Genesis]]|NextChap=[[Exodus 2]]|PrevChap=[[Genesis 50]]}}
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'''11.''' THER4 HE SET OVAR THEM MASTERZ OV TEH WORKZ, 2 AFLICT THEM WIF BURDENS: AN' THEY BUILT 4 PHARAO CITIEZ OV TABERNACLEZ, PHITHOM, AN' RAMESEZ.
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[[Category:Exodus|Exodus 1]]
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'''12.''' BUT TEH MOAR THEY OPPRESD THEM, TEH MOAR THEY WUZ MULTIPLID AN' INCREASD.
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'''13.''' AN' TEH EGYPTIANZ HATD TEH CHILDREN OV ISRAEL, AN' AFFLICTD THEM AN' MOCKD THEM:
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'''14.''' AN' THEY MADE THEIR LIFE BITTR WIF HARD WORKZ IN CLAY AN' BRICK, AN' WIF ALL MANNR OV SERVICE, WHEREWITH THEY WUZ OVERCHARGD IN DA WORKZ OV TEH EARTH.
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'''15.''' AN' TEH KIN OV EGYPT SPOKE 2 TEH MIDWIVEZ OV TEH HEBREWS: OV WHOM WAN WUZ CALLD SEPHORA, TEH OTHR PHUA,
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'''16.''' COMMANDIN THEM: WHEN U SHALL DO TEH OFFICE OV MIDWIVEZ 2 TEH HEBREW WOMEN, AN' TEH TIME OV DELIVERY IZ COME: IF IT BE MAN CHILD, KILL IT: IF WOMAN, KEEP IT ALIV.
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'''17.''' BUT TEH MIDWIVEZ FEARD GAWD, AN' DID NOT DO AS TEH KIN OV EGYPT HAD COMMANDD, BUT SAVD TEH DOODZ CHLDRN.
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'''18.''' AN' TEH KIN CALLD 4 THEM AN' SAID: WAT IZ DAT U MEANT 2 DO, DAT U WUD SAVE TEH DOODZ CHILDREN?
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'''19.''' THEY ANZWERD: TEH HEBREW WOMEN R NOT AS TEH EGYPTIAN WOMEN: 4 THEY THEMSELVEZ R SKILFUL IN DA OFFICE OV MIDWIFE; AN' THEY R DELIVERD BEFORE WE COME 2 THEM.
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'''20.''' THEREFORE GAWD DEALT WELL WIF TEH MIDWIVEZ: AN' TEH PEEPS MULTIPLID AN' GREW ECKSEEEDINGLY STRNG.
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'''21.''' AN' BECAUSE TEH MIDWIVEZ FEARD GAWD, HE BUILT THEM HOUSEZ.
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BECAUSE TEH MIDWIVEZ FEARD GAWD, ETC... TEH MIDWIVEZ WUZ REWARDD, NOT 4 THEIR LIE, WHICH WUZ VENIAL SIN; BUT 4 THEIR FEAR OV GAWD, AN' THEIR HUMANITY: BUT DIS REWARD WUZ ONLY TEMPORAL, IN BUILDIN THEM HOUSEZ, DAT IZ, IN ESTABLISHIN AN' ENRICHIN THEIR FAMILIEZ.
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'''22.''' PHARAO THEREFORE CHARGD ALL HIS PEEPS, SAYIN: WHATSOEVR SHALL BE BORN OV TEH MALE SEKZ, YE SHALL CAST INTO TEH RIVR: WHATSOEVR OV TEH FEMALE, YE SHALL SAVE ALIV.
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Latest revision as of 01:02, 18 April 2010

Old Testament
Bible5.gif


Israel Gets Bigga In Egypt

1 An Jacob wented to Egypt and ppl an ther beybies goed too. Teh pepl wuz:2 Ruben an Simeon an Levi an Judah3 an Issachar and Zebulun an Benjamin4 an Dan an Naphtali an Gad an Asher.5 An evrywun wuz liek, we camed from Jacobses. Lol. An thier woz sebbenty of em.kthxbai!

6 An thenn tehy wuz al ded. Srsly.7 An then thhere childern wuz lik, HARBLZ GOES WHERE? An then they new whear harblz wents, and maded babieses.

8 An then thier wuz a n00b king, an he wuz liek, lol I am King of Eegypt and all dat shizz. Whoz Joseph? Don't even no.9 King sayed to hiz peeps: Yo. Look at teh Ibruz, are lots of em.10 We gotta stops em an take thear cheezburger. Or els theyll takes our cheezburger, srsly. (also teh n00b king wuz kinda racist)

11 An he gived them too muchly werk to do. An wuz liek, mek teh citeis! Wif treasurz!12 But teh Ibruz alredy knoed where harblz goes. An wer liek, yay babis. But boo, worrk.13 An Egyptianz were like, work hardr!14 An Egyptianz werr liek, Srsly, do all teh work for us. An work hardr.

15 An Egyptking wuz liek, yo babyladies, who mayke babies cum out.16 Wen therz a boy jew, kill him. Wen therz a girl jew, kept them sose I can mack them. Kthxbye.17 But babyladies sayed to selvs, teh Ceiling Cat wont like. An they didnt.18 An the King he sayed, WHUT?

19 An they sayed to him, lady Jews dont even need us fur babes. They iz liek, nah. (O, an BTW, ur lady Egyptianz iz laemerer.)20 Ceiling Cat wuz liek to babyladies, yu cann hav cheezburgers.21 An buckets.

22 Then teh King wuz liek, evrone lissen up! All teh boy jws go in teh rivr, k? let dey b pwnt! An the Cat wuz liek, kk in teh river they go rofl chuck cheezburgerz of there hedz then go river big rofl they dezerve it they are noobz

Exodus 1
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