Ephesians 1

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1 Frum Paul, friend of Ceiling Cat, 2 teh peepuls in Effesus.2 Cheezburgers nd cookies frum Ceiling Cat nd Jesus.


Free stuf frum teh Ceiling Cat

3 Luv teh Ceiling Cat nd Jesus dat givez us teh free stuf.4 Teh Ceiling Cat pikded us to be teh holey nd gud kittehs.5 Ceiling Cat adopps uz as teh kittehs thru Jesus cuz he wants to,6 nd givz us teh Jesus, who he luvs lots.7 Jesus lets us off teh hook 4 arr invisible errorz.8 No end of teh good cuz Ceiling Cat has teh brainz.9 He tellz us evrythin we needs to kno abt, cuz he wantd 2.10 Nd wen teh time is rddy, its will awl be in wun cookie bag with teh nam uv Jesus awn it.

11 A plan- Ceiling Cat haz it, and choosded us for it. He knos wat hes doin. Srsly.12 This wai teh Jew kittehs maek Ceiling Cat happy nd they gets saved,13 nd nao evry1 else has teh life saved 2. We is addoptd 4 real nao, like he promisd.14 Ceiling Cat buys us so we can has gud stuf.

Pauls Prayr 4 Teh Brainz

15 Evry1 is sayin how yu haev teh faeth nd yu luvs every1 lots,16 nd it maeks me say THX 2 teh Ceiling Cat. I prey lots17 nd ask teh Ceiling Cat to gives yu teh brainz to unnrstand teh Ceiling Cat.18 Also I prey dat yu kno yu can has lots of hope nd cheezburgers liek all teh gud kittehs.

19 Also (I iz still preyin) yu shud kno Ceiling Cat is supr-strong nd has teh lazer eyes, but for teh gud. Dis is teh same wai20 Ceiling Cat taked Jesus and maed him not dead, nd give him stuf.21 Nao Jesus is biggr than teh presidnt nd teh kings nd all that- nd not jus nao, but alwayz.22 Teh Jesus is in charge nao, says teh Ceiling Cat.23 Jesus is liek teh cat, and teh church is his tail: iz imprtant, srsly.

Ephesians 1
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