From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Eat all teh cheezburgers you can before you ded. Srsly.
1 I thot bout dis alot. The kittehs who are gud and smart and what they duz, Ceiling Cat is in charge of alla dat, k? No kitteh knows if he's gonna get pets or kicks.2 All things happen 2 'em all. Doan matter if yer good or bad or eats cheezburgers or is vegetarian. Or likes cookies better. Or stealz yer brother's bukkit. Harbls happens to everyone.3 And dat's bad. Srsly. Kittehs is all crazy and evil and then they gets ded.4 If ure livin', thars hope. Livin kitteh iz better than ded kitteh.5 Cuz teh livin knoe they'll dye, but teh ded doan knoe anythin. There's no cheezburgers when yer ded either. Evryone will forget u.6 The love, h8 and wants of the ded is gone too. They're srsly ded.7 Chase meeses, eat cheezburgers, and haz teh catnip cuz Celing Cat likes you. Rly.8 Keep ur fur clean an soft.9 Has fun wif gurl kats, or boy kats, if you want to, and try 2 enjoy ur job. That's yer life d00d.10 If yer gonna chase meeses, chase 'em real good. Cuz once yer ded cain't do it no more.11 Cuz the winner of the race is not the fastest kitteh, and the winner of the battle is not the strongest kitteh. Being smart won't get you cheezburgers or moneys or favers. Harbls happens to everykitteh.12 Just like the fish or bird you catch don't know when it's gonna die, neither do you. It will surprise you.
Teh smart kitteh and teh st00pid kitteh
13 I thot bout dis too.14 Some n00b king decided to lay siege to a city.15 In the city was a smart poor kitteh who knew what to do to get rid of teh n00b king siegen dem. But no one remembered smart poor kitteh.16 So I thunked Bein smart's better dan bein strong. But if yer poor and smart, no one gonna listen.17 Wise kittehs are more worth listenin to than n00b king.18 Smarts is better than guns. One bad kitteh ruins everuthin tho.
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