Ecclesiastes 8

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Old Testament
Obay teh Ceiling Cat

1 No kitteh pwnz enuff
 to be unnerstandinz evryfing.
Pwnage maks teh catz has happynezz
 it are makin teh sad oens happeh.
2 Obay teh Ceiling Cat becuz you has maed promizzes to him.3 Wen soemone saiz "OMFGCEILINGCATSUXXLOLOLOL!!1" don be all liek "tolly bro!" becuz teh Ceiling Cat is reelie teh roxxorz.4 Ceiling Cat cn eet anywunz treetz.
5 Any kitteh taht obays him sahll
 no be eatan.
 Gd catz do gd tingz at gd tiems lmao.
6 Tehr iz gd tiem an gd plaec for enyting
 but catz offen eat to meny cheezburgerz.
7 Dey canot see teh futyu
 an nobodeez gonna be tellin them, k?
8 No cat canz be controlating teh windz
 or become immortalcat.
Satincat iz no gonna be settin youz free after youz are evil so STFU!!!!11!2!@.

Justizz, Rewards an Punshmentz

9 Iz be seein dis as I wer finkin about stufs. Sometaimz a kitteh wil pwn anuver kitteh. Tha's bad stuffz.10 I wuz seein many funeruls ov bad ppl, an tehy wer honord in teh saem town taht they pwn't gd pplz in. This iz teh phail!1
11 If a kitteh iz no punishd fr doin bad fings strate away tehn moar kittehs wil becoem eval!!!1!1112 Although wickd man commits hundrd crimez an still livez long tiem, i knoe dat it will go bettr wif ceilin cat-fearin doodz, hoo r reverent before ceilin cat.13 yet cuz teh wickd do not fear ceilin cat, it will not go well wif them, an their dais will not lengthen liek shadow.14 thar iz somethin else meaningles dat occurs on earth: righteous doodz hoo git wut teh wickd deserve, an wickd doodz hoo git wut teh righteous deserve. Dis 2, i say, iz meaningles.15 so i commend teh enjoyment ov life, cuz nothin iz bettr 4 man undr teh sun than 2 eat an drink an be glad. Den joy will accompany him in his werk all teh dais ov teh life ceilin cat has given him undr teh sun.16 when i applid mah mind 2 knoe wisdom an 2 observe manz labor on earth—his eyez not seein sleep dai or nite-17 den i saw all dat ceilin cat has dun. No wan can comprehend wut goez on undr teh sun. Despite all his efforts 2 search it out, man cant discovr itz meanin. Even if wize man claims he knows, he cant rly comprehend it.

Ecclesiastes 8
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Proverbs Song of Solomon Ecclesiastes 7 Ecclesiastes 9
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