From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Evilz Undr Teh Sun
1 Agin, I sees all teh bad tings dat r dun undr teh sun. Teh sad kitteh cryed and no wun wuld gif dem teh comfortz! Teh bad kittehs had teh powerz so no wun culd halp teh sad kittehs.2 N I thot dat kittehs hoo r ded r mor happy dan kittehs hoo has teh life.3 But teh bestz is kitteh who has nevr ben borned cuz he no has seen teh evilz.4 Den I saw dat all workz and skillz cum frum wantin teh other kittehz cheesburgers. Dis like chasin teh tail.5 Teh stupid kitteh closez his eyez n eats hiz own furz.6 Bettr is lil bit o quiet dan a lot of workz and toilz.7 Agin I went a saw kittehs chazin aftur ther tailz undr teh sun.8 Kittehs woo r alone wit no uther lolcats to see still haz workz to do undr teh sun an dere is no end bcuz teh kitteh is nevr happay wit how mny cheezburgers he has gotz. srsly. So he getz teh sadness cuz he doez all his workz and haz no uther kittehs for to enjoi it withz. Dis is teh st00pidz.9 Two kittehs are bettr dan one, cuz two kittehs haz mor cheezburgrs dan one kitteh duz.10 N if one kitteh falls off window whil lukin at teh birds outside, other kitteh can halpz him gets up! Sadness teh kitteh haz who haz no other kitteh to help. He is just sad. srsly.11 N if two kitteh snuggles togther they can haz all teh warmth! Two kittehs FTW! But if kitteh is all by his self, he no can haz teh warthm. Lonely kitteh FTL.12 One kitteh mite b able to fight teh nasty dog, but two kittehs can totally take teh dat SOB! And three kittehs? Dat st00pid dog haz no chanc!13 Bettr is yung kitteh woo may b poor but haz teh wizedum dan old kitteh who haz lotz of cheezburgrs but is st00pidz. Cuz old st00pid kitteh cannot take teh advizes frum teh smart kittehs woo knows how to upgrade hiz ram.14 Teh yung kitteh culd come frum teh poorness and bcum teh next king! He haz so much wizum he culd even go from kittehjail to teh throne!! Yung kitteh FTW!!15 I sawed all teh livin tings undr teh sun, teh lolcatz and lolruses and even teh uber cool yung kitteh who will b teh king.16 Dere was no endin to all teh kittehs dat he leads!! But de kittehs who cum after will not luv dis kitteh. Dis all like chazin teh tail and is teh st00pidz.
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