Ecclesiastes 2

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Old Testament

XP is Ghey

1 Teechurcat sez to selv, "Oh Hai, I can has cheezburgerz!!1." But agin, thiz wuz also teh st00pidz.2 Teechercat sez of LOLz, "it ar leis," n ov teh cheezburgerz, "wutz teh point? FTL!!!1"3 Teechurcat aks how 2 haev gud tiems wit teh b00ze- Teechercatz brains still runz on wizdum- and how 2 snag on sum dmbnesz, LOL, until he mite see wut waz guud 4 mortal kittehs undr teh ceiling durin teihr few daiz ov teihr livez.4 Teechurcat maded heselv graet thingz and not eated them; Teechurcat biltded houze and b00ze plantz, n all he base are belong to him.5 And maded heselv teh parkz n teh gardenz, n grewed a bunchez ov fruut treez.6 And maded heselv puulz 2 wat3rz stufs.7 And buyz male n female code monkehz, n had code monkehz hoo wer spawned in hiz houze; Teechurcat alzo had gr3at pozeshionz ov cheezburgerz and cookiez, more tahn any1 before himz in teh Jarusalem.8 Teechurcat alzo gath3red 4 heselv silvar and goldz and teh treshur n stuf. He alzo getz teh singerz, who mekes nice musik.9 So he maeks many guds, an maded more dn awl b4 him in teh Jarusalem. An teh wizdum, it is still in his brains.10 Ib I sed "Oh hai! Want cookiez," den cookiez i haevs. I not keep frob me teh wantz, an dis wab mine 4 da labrz.11 Den I see allz mah stuf, abn allz teh labrz 4, an me seis taht all was st00pid, an a chasing abfter tailz, an dehr were no profit under teh ceiling.

Wize Livin Iz Ghey

12 N den I thinks of teh smartness n teh crazines n teh st00pids. Wut cheezburgrs can kitteh who come aftr kingkitteh make? Only cheezburgrs that has been made alredy.13 Den I saw dat dere is moor happy in wyzdom dan in teh st00pid, as dere is moor happy in teh light dan in teh dark14 Teh wyse kitteh has eyez in hiz hed, butt teh st00pid kitteh walks in da darkness. N yet I saw dat cheezbrgrs get taken away frum all of dem.15 Den I said to myself "Teh st00pid kitteh looses hiz cheesebrgers, teh same will happn to meh. What is point of bein wise?" N I sed to myself agin dat dis is teh st00pidz.16 For no one remembers de cheezburgrs wize kitteh has jus lyke no one memebers de cheezburgrs st00pid kitteh has for n de dayz that r to be come no one will memeber nething. Teh wize kitteh looses cheezburgr just lyke teh st00pid kitteh.17 So I hatd ma lif becauz chasing aftr cheesburgrs waz sad to meh for all will gone sumday.

Workin Iz Ghey

18 I hatd all my works i did undr teh sun, cuz I must leaves it to teh kitteh woo comes aftr meh.19 n who noes if he be stoopid kitteh or wize kitteh? He will be teh master of all teh cheezbrgrs and cookies I workd 4 and used ma wyzdm to has. Dis is stoopid.20 So I gaves ma heart up to sadness ova all my workz and stuffz and cheezburgrs and cookiez i tryed so hard to has,21 becuz sumtimes person who has wyzdm has to leev all his cheezbrgrs to kitteh who is stoopid and did not work for it to has. Dis is a grate evil. NO WANT. Is teh stoopidz.22 Wut does a kitteh has frum all his works under teh hot sun?23 Bcuz all his dayz r full of sadnesses and his work makes his hart sad and hevy. Even at teh night times hiz heart do not rest. dis is stoopid and NO WANT.24 Is dere nuthin betr 4 a kitteh to do dan to enjoi his cheezbrgrs and cookies and has funs wit his workz? Dis is from teh Ceiling Cat.25 Cuz with no Ceiling Cat woo can has cheezburgrs?26 Teh Ceiling Cat gives teh cheezburgrs and cookies to teh kitteh who pleezes him, but to teh bad kittehs he gives dem cookies to make and gives to good kittehs. Bad kittehs no can has cookies or cheezburgrs. But dis is all like chasing teh tail.

Ecclesiastes 2
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