Deuteronomy 8

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Old Testament
Old Testament

1 Teh r00lz what R srsly yu has to obeh, so yu can has cheezburgers, and teh buttsecks, and p0wn teh territoreh what Ceiling Cat said yur dadz can has.2 So yu cant forget how Ceiling Cat led yuz 40 years in teh territoreh, 2 p0wn yu, skool yu, 2 noes what was in kittehs hed, if kitteh wud obeh or liek "oh noes!"

3 Ceiling Cat p0wnd yu, made kitteh hungry, but then OK wtf, you can has cheezburgers now, but yu and yur dadz r srsly n00bs about cheezburgers. Kitteh no want jus cheezburgers rly cawz Celing Cat make teh wordz for kittehs to live.4 Kittehz cloths stay fresh, no does kittehz pawz hurt for liek, 40 yearz.5 If dadz skool ther kittehz, so has Ceiling Cat skooled teh dadz.6 Srsly,obeh teh r00lz of Ceiling Cat. kthx.

7 Cawz Ceiling Cat brings kitteh to a awesome territoreh with water and cookies and cheezburgers wut comez out of floor!8 Teh territoreh has teh Scratchin posts, boobies, teh best threadz evah, brdbnd cxn; srsly.9 In teh territoreh, kitteh can has ALL cheezburgers kitteh wants. omfg - kitteh can dig in teh litterz for toyz!

10 Kitteh no forget to say "OK thnx" to Ceiling Cat for teh cool landz.11 Srsly kittehz - donut 4get Ceiling Cat and teh r00lz and moar r00lz!12 Or when kitteh is full of teh cheezburgers and cookiez, and has nice kitteh housez;13 And kitteh can has moar times moar of teh presentz from Ceiling Cat;14 Then kittehz hartz be lifted up, and forgetz Ceiling Cat, what made kitteh come out of Ejiipt and now u be petz no moar;

15 Ceiling Cat led kitteh thru teh scary territorehs, wid teh poochez and teh fleas wut were on fire, and no drinkz for kitteh, but made drinkz from the litter.16 Ceiling Cat gave kitteh teh cheezburgers, wut yur dadz donut has, to p0wn kitteh, so kitteh can do good l8r.17 Kitteh can say I got this stuff from my magiks and strong pawz.

18 But srsly kitteh, donut forget Ceiling Cat; bcuz he gave kitteh teh magiks to get monies, that kitteh can sware to ther dadz, like today.19 OK srsly kitteh. DONUT forget Ceiling Cat. If yu follow n00b Ceiling Cats and be worshipn them, omfg Ceiling Cat will p0wn you and no rezzing for real.20 K look, Ceiling Cat p0wn territorehs. Kitteh don't want, k? So kitteh, obeh teh r00lz of Ceiling Cat. Srsly.

Deuteronomy 8
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