Deuteronomy 34

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Old Testament
Ceiling Cat uses him lazr eyez to show Moses teh cookies
Moses be ded

1 Then the dood Moses climbed up up Mount Nebo liek it was a tree, cuz he climbed from the plains of Moab to the top of Pisgah, which is across from Jericho, just in case yur confused and stuff. There teh Ceiling Cat showed him teh whole territorah with him lazr eyes-- from Gilead to Dan,2 all of Naphtali, the territorah of Ephraim and Manassah, all teh land of Judah as far as teh Western Sea,3 teh Negav and teh whole region from teh valley of Jericho, teh City of Palms, as far as Zoar. And4 Thenn teh Ceiling cat seds to him, "This is teh cookie ai made for Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob when ai seds, 'Ai will giev it to yor kittehs!' Ai hab made yu this cookie, but yu can not eated it.5 And Moses, who was pwned by Ceiling Cat, wuz ded there in Moab, and Ceiling Cat was like, "See, ai told you, srsly."6 Ceiling Cat covered him ovre with urfs in teh litterbox of Moab, in teh litterbox beside Beth Poer, but no litter scoop can find him. Srsly.7 Moses wuz ten lives old when he wuz ded, yet he still had lazr eyes and could still pwn an unsuspecting kitteh.8 The Chosen Kittehs were emokittehs and ate no cheezburgers or gushifud or cookies for thirteh days in the plains of Moab, until teh time for cheezburgers and gushifud and cookies returned and teh kittehs were emo no moar.9 Now dat Moses wuz ded, Joshua son of Nun wuz filled with teh catuhtude, because Moses had lickz him with teh tung. So the Chosen Kittehs perked deir ears towards him and did what teh Ceiling Cat had told Moses.10 Since then, no Seercat has sprung forth from teh Chosen Kittehs like Moses, upon which teh Ceiling Cat laid him lazr eyes,11 who did all those plagues and stuff teh Ceiling Cat had him do in Egypt-- to Pharoah and to his kittehs and to his whole territorah!12 For no kitteh has ever had all does powurz that Moses did in the site of the Chosen Kittehs!

Deuteronomy 34
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