Deuteronomy 33

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Old Testament
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1 Dis wut mosez sed to blesez teh peepul uv Izreal befur he dai,2 "Ceiling Cat awlwaez bin der nd He has coemd with lots of holie d00ds from da sowfs wer He gots His mowntin slopes nd stuff.3 Srsly, it Yu hoo luvz teh ppls; all dem holy d00ds ar in yo paw. Dem kisses yu paws, and yu tell dem wut doo,4 Mosez gaevs us the law, teh litturbocs uv teh acymbalie uv Jacob.5 Ceiling Cat waz top cat uv Jeshurun, which is Izreal, when da TOm catz of teh Izrealytes acymbalded, elong wit dems peeplez.6 "Maeks Rubin kittehs not be go in da shour or him not has lots uv baebehs."7 Dis whut Mosez saed bowt Jooda: "O hai, Ceiling Cat, hear yu the meow of Jooda; him bring to him peeplez. Him gards him coz wit him pawz. Pwn him puppehs, kthx!"8 Abowt Lievi him say: "Yuz Thummin nd Urim is him hoo yuz gaevs cheezburgers. Yuz tesded him at Massah; yuz tri an taekd him ringyball at teh wattrboal of Meribah.9 Him saed uv hims fadur nd mudur, 'Iz has no cur fur dems.' Him not noe how him bruders lookded leik or be lieked 'dees is mai keds,' butt him wachded ovr yuz wurds nd garded yuz cuvinint.10 Him lerns yuz roolz to Jacob nd yuz loz to Izreal. Him awffurs catnip befur yuz nd hoal burnded meeces on yuz Ceiling Cat fewdboal.11 Blesez all him skilz, O Ceiling Cat, nd be wit him wurk him doo wit him paws, kthx. Claw teh notty prts uv dem hoo tri nd taek himz cheezburgers; lae teh smak dwn awn himz emnimees til dems no moor can moovs."12 Bowt Benjamin him saed: "Let himz hoo maekinged teh Ceiling Cat to purr rests all cuddlee in himz, fur himz is all dae leik keepein himz saef, nd teh won teh Ceiling Cat maekses purrein fur gits all cuddly between himz shoaldurs."

Deuteronomy 33
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