Deuteronomy 27

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Old Testament
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Mount Ebal Can Has An Altar

1 An Mosus wit teh oldz of Israel commandered teh peepz, liek, Keepz all teh msgs which I is sendun joo todah.2 An on teh day wen joo go wit Jordan 2 teh sofa dat teh Ceiling Cat ur Catz0r has givz joo, joo wul have liek cellz, An txt on dem wiv teh wordz:3 An joo msg on tehm all teh wordz of teh law, wen joo diez joo win An getz teh Ceiling Cat ur Catz0r 2 giv joo cookiez an cheezburgerz an stuff, srsly.4 Okai, so has ur cell on wit Jordan, An txt me, lol!!1!115 An joo should maek a myspace An facebook page for teh Ceiling Cat, wiv liek a custom wall.6 Joo makez tehCatz0r teh awesum txtz An msgz An msg wit sum c00l pix.7 An giv teh Ceiling Cat a frend request, An tehn post on His wall, rofl!8 An write on teh wall about teh txt An teh cheezburgerz An stuff.


It Can Be Curses Teim Now? K!

9 An Mosus An his peepz writened on all Israel’s walls, saying “Joo iz all liek teh Celing Catz frendz, Can has teh most frendz!!11!1”10 An u have to accept teh frend request (dun ignore).


11 An Moses msgd teh Ceiling Catz peepz An sed sumefing liek,12 “Hai 2 u, this wall is teh winnah, lookz at teh frendz: Jordan; Simeon, An Levi, An Judah, An Issachar, An Joseph, An Benjamin:13 An Reuben, Gad, An Asher, An Zebulun, Dan, An Naphtali.”


14 An teh Levitez sed:

15 “Joo iz fail if joo iznt on teh Ceiling Catz wall or joo arnt His friend, I swear jus txt like 10 frendz utehwize fail. Srsly!111!!”

16 Dun flamez on teh wall or joo fail.

17 Dun try An remove ur frendz from teh frendz list or joo has fail.

18 Dun diss kittehz who havunt seez teh wall.

19 Dun ignorez teh frend request cus joo will have so many frendz if u dunt.

20 Dun lie on ur wall (unless its about a bf/gf lol!).

21 Have leik teh cute dogz or birdz or fishuz or teh Catz on ur wall.

22 Dun have ur family as frendz, thatz jus weird, omg.

23 Dun have ur gf/bf fam as frendz neitha.

24 Dun spam teh frendz page wit teh adz for teh ravez or teh clubz or teh viagra lol!

25 Dun b removing teh frendz, joo jus look unpopulared.

26 Joo iz so full of teh epic failz if joo dun follo teh rulez of teh frend wallz.

Deuteronomy 27
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