Deuteronomy 13

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Old Testament
Ceiling Cat shuns the non belivers.
W0rshippin False bukkits

1 So say some d00d comes up 2 u An sez 'check out dis bukkit, is teh awesome'2 and ur liek, 'hey, dat is awesome bukkit!'; but then he's all like, 'awesome bukkit = work of LOLrus - can has worship?'3 u should be all like, 'DO NOT WANT', cuz is rly ceiling cat quizzin u4 Iz teh Ceiling cat u must follow, and him u must revere. Keep his harbls and ohbay him; srv him and hold fast to his cheezburgers.5 (also need to kill that dood, because he is a hater and pwnin haterz keep ceiling cat happy)

6 Now say ur BFF Jill is all liek, 'iz secret: ima worship dat awezum bukkit too!'7 (dis be not ceiling cat's bukkit but rather false bukkit)8 u be all like 'STFU Jill! I not listenin'9 BTW Pew Pew Pew! (dats me pwnin Jill: is OK--she non-buhleevin)10 also, use stonez = is bloodier11 den all teh other kittehs be all like, dat look painful. Ima stay away from dat false bukkit.

12 Now dat false bukkit in ur city,13 convertin ur kittehs14 & ur liek, 'O RLY?'; and u find 'yEs RLY'. Wut u gonna do?15 Smite! (Use sharp sword. Yes even teh moo cows)16 L00t! Burn! (yes, even teh l00t)17 and Ceiling CAt's all liek, "thanks! u are blessid with PENIS GOES WHERE? n cookies n stuff cuz i promised ur dadz"18 but dat's only b/c Ceiling Cat lieks all dis smitin on teh haterz.

Deuteronomy 13
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