Deuteronomy 10

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Old Testament

1 Den Ceiling Cat sez 2 me "d00d chop out 2 stonez liek teh 1st ones n com up wif me on teh mtn. Also make a wooded box, kthx.2 I am gonna write on dem teh wordz dat wuz on teh 1st ones dat u broked (lozer). Then u put em in teh speshul Box, k?"3 So I maked a ark out of acacia woodz n chopped out 2 stonez like teh 1st ones (mai bad) and went up on the mtn wif dem in mah handz.4 Ceiling Cat wrote on dem whut he wrote b4, the 10 rulez he sed 2 u on teh mtn, out of the fire, when we got 2gether. And Ceiling Cat gave dem 2 me.5 Den I came back down teh mtn n put teh stonez in teh speshul Box, like Celing Cat tolded me 2, n that's wherr they r nao.6 Teh Israelitez traveled from teh bukkitz of teh Jaakenitz to Moserah. Ther Aaron got ded and wuz buried (*kry*)and Eleazar wuz teh n00b priest nao.7 From there they traveled 2 Gudgodah and 2 Jotbathah, a land wif streemz of waterz.8 Then Ceiling Cat sed teh Levitez can carry teh speshul Box wif teh Covnt of the Ceiling Cat and they cans standz b4 Ceiling Cat n serve cookiez n sez blessins n his name liek they still do 2day.9 Thats why Levitez has no other cookiez wif teh brotherz; Ceiling Cat is their cookiez is whut he told them.10 I stayed on teh mtn 40 dayz n nitez liek teh 1st tiem n Ceiling Cat lissened 2 me. He did not want 2 pwn u right nao.11 "Gowai!" Ceiling Cat sed "n lead teh ppl on ther wai so they can has landz I tolded their dadz they can has."12 O hay Israel. Whut does Ceiling Cat ask u except phear him n walk n his wayz n l0ff him n serv him wif all ur <3 n wif all ur soul13 n 2 do whut teh Ceiling Cat sez whut I am tellin u 4 ur own good, kthx.14 Cuz urth n teh hevns (all teh hevns) is Ceiling Cats, k?15 But he l0ffed ur dadz n sed ur speshul moar den nebody else 2day.16 So don't b jerks n b all stubbrn n stuff.17 Cuz Ceiling Cat is teh Cat of catz n teh d00d of d00dz, teh big guy, mighty n awsum n he dont take bribez.18 He is like superman 4 teh widow n teh orphns n he <3's teh illegals n gives him cookiez n clothez, 4 realz.19 U r spose 2 l0ff teh illegalz 2 cuz u wuz illegalz n Egypt.20 Phear Ceiling Cat n serv him. Hang on 2 him and swear n his name.21 He iz ur praize n he is ur Cat whut did them awsum tricks that u saw wif ur eyez.22 All ur 70 dadz went 2 Egypt n nao ther is as many of u as ther is starz in teh skyz. Thats alot.

Deuteronomy 10
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