Daniel 4

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Old Testament
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Nebuchadnezzar Dreemz About Tre

1 O, hai, Iz Nebuchadnezzur. (Iz alwyz furgettin hao to spelz dat.) Hai, everbuddiz! U all haz gud lief, k?

2 Iz happiz to tellz u abowt teh awsum stuff Ceiling Cat didz.

3 Teh stuff he didz iz liek totally awsum. An hiz howse iz liek rly bigz an nevur fallz doun. Srsly.

4 Ai (Iz Nebukudnezzur) wuz at hoem, an ai wuz happi.5 But den ai hadz teh skeeri dreemz! Ai wuz lyin on teh couchz, an sawz rly skry tingz! Srsly.6 An ai wuz liek "Hay, all smrt gaiz, wut mai dreem meenz?"7 But all teh smrt gaiz wuz liek "We dun noz wut ur dreem meenz."8 An den Daniel caem, an ai tellz him abowt teh dreem.

9 Ai wuz liek "Hay, u! U an Ceiling Cat tellz me wut dreemz meenz, k?10 Dreem goez liek dis: Ai lukd, an dere wuz rly big tre.11 Tre groz rly big, an tuchz teh skyz. An everwun seez it.12 An it wuz liek totally awsum trez, cuz it wuz pretti an hadz teh frootz an teh shaedz.

13 I lukd, an dere wuz WingCat frum Ceiling.14 An he wuz liek "Hay, u cutz down tre an throz awy teh frootz, k?15 But u maekz shur teh stumpz iz stil dere, k? 'U letz teh tre getz wet an livz wif teh aminulz, k?16 An letz him be liek aminul fur liek sevnz, k?'

17 WingCatz sez dis, so u all knoz dat Ceiling Cat in charj, k?'

18 Dat wut mai dreem wuz. Nao u tellz me wut it meenz, k?"

Daniel Sez Wut Teh Dreemz Meenz

19 An Daniel wuz liek "Hmmmmm" an teh kingz wuz liek "U no be skeered, k?" An Daniel wuz liek "But itz bad dreemz!20 U rememburz dat rly big tre?21 Teh wun wif teh frootz an teh shaedz?22 Dat tre iz u! Srsly. Bcuz u iz rly strong, an u gotz rly big kingdumz.

23 Kay has see´d FedEx AngleCat? It say "cut down tree, u be liek dog or summat and has catnap 7 hrs" or woteva

24 I sez so, Ceiling Cat sez so.25 U go be liek cow now, kthxbi. O ya btw Ceiling Cat iz boss.26 Tree be in ur ground, regrowin yore kingdumz.27 Do as i sez an be gud kitty. Thn u has good life, k?

Omgz Dreem Cum Tru!

28 Al happen. Srsly.29 Nxt yeer king be walkin on roof liek we catz does30 An sez "I iz best, Babylone pwnz. U sees it, k ppl?"

31 Has just finish speeked wen Ceiling Cat say "youz no bees king no more, k?32 Yous iz cow, srlsy, til u sez "Ceiling Cat is teh winn0r! kk. Nao gtfo!"

33 An Nebulageezer iz cow an iz be bird (yum).

34 K finaly ai luk up an i iz saying
  "CeilingCat howse iz no mai howse,
  Him kingdum iz go on an on an on an on an on"

35 "Al ppls heer
 Iz nowt.
 Him do wot him DO WANT
 An iz a lot power full
 Can not has say "wtf joo doin?""

36 An ai iz be bettah, an nao Ai>Bifor.37 An ai iz sayin "Ceiling Cat iz da boss" cuz he is in ur pride, steelin ur humbal pai. kk iz al, bai!

Daniel 4
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