Daniel 12

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Old Testament

1 Then Michael will hovr. All nayshuns will shout DO NOT WANT lyk rly loud srsly. But den ur peepl - evryone who is linkd to from dis blog - will be delivereded.

2 All ur kittehs who sleepeded in all our base will belong to us, some wil rise to eternal cheezburgers and some to perpechool invisible baffs.

3 Those nice kittehz will shine like the greases on teh cheezburgers forever

4 But you, Daniel, iz stale cheezburger til u stop showing me ur pokemanz an finish ur homeworkz which takes forever again. Then I can reed ur homeworkz and will increase my learnings.

5 Z0MG hold on I sees 2 d00ds standing next to teh riverz, one on each side which belong to them

6 One d00d said to another d00d hovring above teh watrs dresseded in linen, "like srsly when r they bringing out cheezburger v2.0?"

7 Teh linen d00d hadded buttsecks with the immortal kitteh and sez "a time lyk srsly guize one and a half timez. Sum1 has to breakeded the holy powr of teh holy peeplz which pwnt teh urfs.

8 I hearded but was like wtf. So I say to Ceiling Cat, "what happen next?"

9 He replied, "Go wai, Daniel, cuz u has finisheded ur homeworkz.

10 Sum ppl will eat moar cheezburgerz, but the ebil kittehs r still ebil kittehs. They DO NOT WANT understand, but the wiser kittehs who know it are a fact because of their learnings will understands.

11 In 1,290 days, kittehs no getting killed no moar.

12 If you wait 1337 days you can haz cheezburger.

13 An you, you fired, go wai til teh endz. I no wanna see you no moar. You sleep, then wake up before the urfs blow up to get ur moneyz."

Daniel 12
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