Ceiling Cat Prayer
From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
- Teh Ceiling Cat of us, whu haz cheezeburger, yu be spechul
- Yu ordered cheezburgerz,
- Wut yu want, yu gets, srsly.
- In ceiling and on teh flor.
- Giv us dis day our dalee cheezburger.
- And furgiv us for makin yu a cookie, but eateding it.
- And we furgiv kittehs who be steelin our bukkits.
- An do not let us leed into teh showa, but deliver us from teh wawter.
- Ceiling Cat pwns all. He pwns teh ceiling and teh floor and walls too.
- Forevur and evuhr. Amen.
If yu wan to kno how to prai to Ceiling Cat wit yer pawz, see How to pray.
gewt on yer nees and pray too zee almity ceiling cat up above and remebr cookez and remeber too donate 5o milz so a can buyz me a limo to go crewzin oh ceiling cat bless us woth the gift of cheezeburgerz so we can get iur seks a feast w00t!
Ceiling Cat Creed
We blieves in one big kitteh, Ceiling Cat,
- who maded teh urfs an teh skiez
- an all teh cheezburgers an teh invizibul bicycles an stuff.
We blieves in one happycat, Jeebus,
- onliest son ov Ceiling Cat,
- bornded beefor all teh cheezburgers an stuffs,
- He gots some Ceiling Cat in him, srsly, k?
- He helpded Ceiling Cat makes all teh cheezburgers an stuffs.
"Fer all teh kittehs he comez down frum teh ceiling
- an beez a kitteh thru da Force an teh virjn Hello Kitty! wit no hankie pankies,
- an was reely a kitteh, srsly.
- He got teh crucify fer us kittehs by Pilate;
- An gots todally pwned and faceplanted.
- An caem bak to lief on teh thrd dai liek it wuz fortolded in teh Bible
- An went bak up to teh Ceiling, an tuk a nappy in teh sunbeam nex to Ceiling Cat.
- He will come bak daon frum teh Ceiling, to be teh judge ov teh live kittehs an teh dead kittehs.
- An hiz kitteh kingdum bees furevr.
We blieves in Hovercat, teh giber ov life,
- who comes frum Ceiling Cat [an maybe Happycat],
- who we lurves jus like Ceiling Cat an Happycat,
- an who tellz teh profits whut to sai.
- We blieves in teh itteh bitteh kitteh committeh.
- We DO NOT WANT baffs, but will hav wun fur furgivness.
- We spektin to caem bak to life after we faceplant,
- an lives furever in teh Ceiling.
O HAI Mary
O HAI Mary,
- full ov chezburgers,
- teh Ceiling Cat ish wit u, srsly.
- Blesd r u among womans,
- and blesd is teh frut ov yer oven Jeebus.
- Holy Mary, mommy ov Ceiling Cat,
- prai 4 us sinnahs,
- nao an at teh hour ov r death, kthx.