From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
The LOLCat Bible Book, Released in January!
The LOLCat Bible book takes the best known and most popular stories from the Bible and retells them from the cat perspective in hilarious lolspeak. The book also features funny new pictures picked exclusively for the book: 35 brand new ones!
All the great Bible stores are here: The Creation, Adam and Eve, Noah's Ark, the Tower of Babel, the Plagues of Egypt, Parting the Red Sea, the Birth of Jesus, the Raising of Dead Lazarus, the Rising of Jesus, and many more!
Here's a taste of what's inside.
Teh Last Cheezburger Feest
12 On teh furst day ov teh Feest ov teh Flat Cheezburgers, dey wer gunna maek teh moo-cow fer teh dinnur. Teh disiplez ov Happy Cat ask, "Wher do yu want to has cheezburger?"13 So Happy Cat send two disiplez an he tells dem, "Go to teh citee, yu see a man wif a big bukkit ov wawter.14 Yu sez to him, 'Teh Smarty Kitteh wan to kno: Whar be mah room so dat I can has cheezburger wif man disiplez'15 He den gunna sho yu tis totawly kewl room wif tabul an stuffz so we can has cheezburgers."
16 Teh disiplez go an everyfing happuns jus liek Happy Cat sez, cuz he get reddi fer to big cheezburger feest.
17 Wen it get no liet outsied Happy Cat go to teh kewl room wif his disiplez.18 Dey wer chillin an restin der pawz an den Happy Cat sez, "I no lie. Wun ov yu gunna tern into bad kitteh an stab me in teh bak. Srsly."
19 Teh disiples awl run owt of happeh, an dey say, "It no me, riet?"
20 "It wun of yu," he sez, "teh wun hoo dip his cheezburger in teh ranch sauwse wif me.21 Iz gunna be ded jus liek wat writtun in teh buk of Ceiling Cat! Teh kitteh hoo stab me in teh bak totawly gunna wish he no be born!"
22 Wen dey wer nommin Happy Cat taek teh cheezburger an brek it, an he sez, "Taek dis cheezburger an eet it, cuz dis liek mah bodi. But gun reely nom me. Jus nom teh cheezburger an pretend it mah bodi. K?"
23 Den he grab teh big cup of booze an gaev tanks to Ceiling Cat, an let dem awl drink frum it (dun worri, noen of dem has cootiez!). Den Happy Cat sez,24 "Dis mah blud. Teh blud of teh Promis of Ceiling Cat. Yu drink it wif meh.25 Dis teh las tiem I has booze wif yu guyz, but dun worri, wen I gets to teh Ceiling iz totawly gunna haf booze der."
26 Den dey sang songz an go to teh Mownt Olive to hang owt an luk for mowsies to play wif.