Amos 8

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Old Testament
A Froot Baskit

1 Ceiling Cat showded me a baskit of riep froot.2 "What u seez, Amos?" he askted.
 "A baskit of riep froot, duh," I sedded.
 Den Ceiling Cat wuz liek, "Teh tiem is riep for mai peeplz in Israel. I iz not lettin dem off teh hook enni longr."

3 Ceiling Cat sez "Peepl will stop singin in teh templ an crai insted. Dere wil be bodiz all ovr teh plaec LOL!"

4  Lissin up, u who iz steppin on teh poor peeplz
  an killin dem too,

5  u iz all liek
  "Izint it tiem yet
  for us to sell cookies?
  rippin peeplz off
  an charjin too much?

7 Ceiling Cat wuz liek "I iz not goin to forget dat enni tiem soon.
8  Teh whoal countri wil shaek bcz of dis
  an evribodi in it wil be sad.
  Teh whoal countri wil riez up liek a rivr floodin
  an get stirrded up an den sink LOL."

9  "When dat day comz," sez Ceiling Cat,
  "I wil maek teh sun go down at noon
  an teh wrld wil be dark.
10  U wil be cryin insted of partyin
  an cryin insted of singin.
  I wil maek u waer a papr bag
  an shaev ur hedz LOL.
  It wil be az bad az losin ur onli kittn
  an evn teh end of teh day wil suk.
11  "Teh tiem iz comin," sez Ceiling Cat,
  "when i wil maek evribodi hungri -
  not hungri for cookies or thrsti for milkz,
  but hungri to heer mai wurdz.
12  Peepl wil go all ovr teh plaec
  from wun end of teh countri to teh othr,
  lookin for teh wrdz of Ceiling Cat,
  but dey woant find dem LOL.
13  On dat dai
  teh pretti yung ladiez an tuff yung d00dz
  wil pass out bcz dey iz so thirsti.
14  Teh peeplz who iz alwaiz goin on about Samaria,
  or about Dan's god
  or Beersheba's god
  will fall down
  an never get up agen LOL."

Amos 8
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